telling friends/family

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Hello, all. I just had a quick question, how do you tell your friends and/or family that you think you might have Aspergers? Do you think this is even necessary?

I don't think I'm going to tell my parents, at least not until I am officially diagnosed -- Im not on the best speaking terms with them, anyways. I told my best friend, however, and she about s**t herself. She didn't quite get it at first and started to associate the idea with a sterotype of autism (a drooling idiot) and she actually got mad at me for suggesting it, no matter how much I tried to explain to her what it is...
Anyways, she told me straight-forward that she doesn't support my decision to get tested. This upsets me because its kind of uncharacteristic of her to be so ignorant, but whatever. Perhaps I just went about giving her the information in the wrong way? How do you think I should tell people I am close to? Should I just keep it to myself?

Her response, to you, might seem ignorant, but to her, it may be caring. Of course, it's going to manifest in different ways since it's from one person to another person whose brain works completely different. You should take it as a compliment - she doesn't believe you have AS/autism, so you must be hiding your symptoms pretty well.

I never told anyone outside of my family besides my on/off girlfriend, and I even regret that. When I was younger, my mother tried to use my diagnosis to get me extra help in school and work, and as a result, destroyed my acquaintance-ships with several people/authorities. People may treat you one way if they simply think you're shy, but they'll treat you differently if they know you have a form of autism (assuming they know the specifics of the ASD, which my mother made sure they did).

But it sounds like you're past the point of living with your parents, so I think whether or not you tell them depends on their attitudes. Do you have a parent with a diagnosis? If not, did your parents notice something "off" about you and accept it? If not, are your parents open-minded and willing to let go of conservative beliefs? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I'd say it couldn't hurt to sit them down and have a chat.

Regardless of whether you choose to tell your family, I would not tell any friends. It may come back to haunt you.

I think it was an eye opener for my parents when I showed them the list of female AS traits. They had always just thought of me as a shy, sensitive, introvert, but that's all that is visible to them, so I can understand that. My sister on the other hand acted like your friend did and now she's making jokes about it, in a belittling manner so I wish I hadn't told her. You might as well wait until after you've been evaluated before you tell anybody else.

[quote] Do you have a parent with a diagnosis? If not, did your parents notice something "off" about you and accept it? If not, are your parents open-minded and willing to let go of conservative beliefs? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I'd say it couldn't hurt to sit them down and have a chat. [quote]

no, my parents aren't diagnosed with anything...they're quite normal people, actually -- nearly to an upsetting degree. But they definately noticed something 'off' about me growing up and it caused a number of differences that sort of drew a wedge between us. If I told them about what I suspect, it would explain a lot about my behavior, but I don't know if they'd be too keen on accepting it. There is a good possibility they might take personal offense for even suggesting it and I A.) don't really want to put them through that and B.) don't want to deal with that right now.