My story. How to know?

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I make this thread somewhat reluctantly as I'm sure that they pop up in this forum all the time, but this is something that's been on my mind for quite a while now and I'd like to get some more expert opinions. I've read about symptoms of the disorder and some seem to fit, but if I could give you personal characteristics and get an opinion that would be more helpful to me.

My whole life I've been exceptionally smart, I was a high achiever in elementary and high school and eventually went into the sciences at university. Now, throughout my life I've always had friends, and I've taken part in social situations, but I've also always felt a disconnect between myself and others, a feeling that I'm out of place, which carries on to the present day.

Over the past few years I've been diagnosed with type 1 Bipolar disorder due to psychotic episodes which has heightened social paranoia (although it's lessening). Over those years I felt myself becoming more self aware, and as I become more self aware I find myself becoming more and more introverted and quiet. When I am in a social situation, unless I am comfortable with people, I will often just not talk at all and tend to avoid conversation. When I am with someone I'm comfortable with I do however seem to exhibit perfectly acceptable and positive social skills, and I'm even a moderator at another forum.

Still, when I do express myself nothing "normal" seems to come out, it's always a joke, or something profound and ingenious, never idle, meaningless chit-chat. My mind seems to constantly work with big ideas and concepts.

Lastly, although I don't know if it's relevant, I've written a novel over the past year and currently find writing my number one passion.

If someone could start a dialogue with me that would be greatly appreciated!

Hey there. Many things you've mentioned do indeed suggest AS, but you will need to see a professional and do the official evaluation stuff to know for certain. In particular, what you said about your mind being constantly filled with lofty and complex intellectual analysis and rumination to the point of being almost unable to make light conversation is highly characteristic of AS.

Yes, that's mainly what tipped me off, I've heard a few others speak about their asperger's in the same terms and I believe I've received subtle hints here and there.

I think I may make an appointment with a psychiatrist while I've got one and look further into the matter. It would bring me a bit of relief to have this aspect of myself identified.

It's a hard thing to deal with, however, as I am in a constant state of feeling different, and trying to "be normal".

Great idea to go for a professional evaluation. May I make one suggestion though??

Try to find a PSYCHOLOGIST instead. One that can professionally diagnose autism--they are out there, and so many people seem to have such rough experiences with psychiatrists. I do not like going to psychiatrists at all; the three people I spoke to about ASD--all were psychologists.