confrontation and being told off (a huge phobia of it)

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Forgive me if this has been asked before but I am curious.

I don't know if it's an Aspie thing or what... I'm guessing it is since I have Asperger's and respond to confrontation in a way that most do not.
How do you feel when people tell you off?
I don't know how to describe it.. perhaps this should go in the adulescence forum, not sure, but say for example, if a teacher or someone in authority were to tell me off for something, I feel so humiliated that I never stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. If I feel it's an injustice (ie. I'm being told off for doing someone that everyone else is doing for example) then it will almost always lead to a very bad meltdown.
Sometimes if I am in the wrong, I can accept that... but still I don't like the issue of being told off or someone confronting me in a negative way. I go sick and dizzy in the head.

I have a big fear of confrontation.. this makes me worried about going outside my house incase someone has a bone to pick with me about something. Ok perhaps a little exageration there... but I seriously do have a big problem with confrontation.

Sorry, I don't want this to come across as self pity or anything like that because it's not... just something I've been thinking about as of late and woud like to know how others feel about it. I hope this makes sense!

Charlie x

Yeah. I hate it so much!

I also hate confrontation I feel like I'll explode, but I never do and I don't know why.

That is how I feel... or how I used to feel about this. I was so affraid of people being harsh with me or disapprove something I did that I would always try to achieve perfection and try to please everyone and also try not to cause any disagreement... Ok, but that is a tricky task trying to please everyone... so what did I do?... I would look for a couple of areas (something like swimming, physics, Biology...) I was able to perform very well and focus my study on these areas so that I could raise myself above any criticism... I guess all that effort was because I feared been critisized... I know this may lead to a restricted pattern of interests (you stop trying anything different cause there is a risk you may not perform very well in the new situation), and yet this may not lower your anxiety but raise it still further....

Hans Asperger in his original 1994 paper wrote that regarding education of people with Asperger syndrome, educators could get a better response form the kids if they told what they were supposed to do (the kids) in a impersonal way (as if it was a general rule that applied to everyone else and not to a specific kid) and that they (the educators) should avoid direct and emotional orders (well I guess what Asperger was discribing is somehow similar to your description of the meltdowns you (turborocker5000) suffer when someone tells you off...) Maybe, your teachers and other people whom you interact with should be aware of your special needs and treat you accordingly...

I hate confrontation unless I know I will benefit from it gaurenteed. Such as when I am forcing someone's mind in the direction I need their mind to go. But I try to avoid that too, even though it is fun.

More hate towards confrontation from here. I usually just stay away from people I do not know too much. I do not have to please them.

It's not adolescent, I'm a grandfather, but I don't like it any more than anyone else.

I have to shrink back inside myself to find my bearings, then bear up under it. I try to avoid confrontation in the first place, pre-emptively counter it in the second place, and plan how to avoid it in the third, in order of importance.

Quite horrifying for me actually. This is one thing that is extremely difficult to control, either me flipping out, or breaking down. Either way, it's the feeling afterward of helplessness, unable to control the outcome that gets me. I can't stop it.

I don't like being confronted if someone is being mean for no good reason.

I don't really like the feeling of being confronted and will get upset BUT if someone is right about something and I think about it later, I'll set aside hurt feelings and make a decision.

I end up confronting others after they've done something mean a few times because I end up exploding.

I also don't like it when you say you're sorry about something you felt was your fault and then the person says it's fine and apology accepted but they end up claiming they did mean things to you because they were still upset because when I say apology accepted to others, I mean it.

I try to avoid drama but it seems to be everywhere.

I don't like the act of confrontation, it's really hard but I'm not going to let others walk all over me or others and I don't like it building up.

I don't think many people really like confrontation, so not sure if it's juat an aspie thing.

Confrontation makes me feel uncomfortable, even at times humiliated.
When dating someone I hated it when they would say 'we need to talk'. I would try to avoid the situation, which was not good.
I also hate it when parents say 'I think we should have a little chat.' That usually means they will lecture me, tell me that I should get a job or think that I should be on medication.
I don't like to confront people but when I do there's far too much anger within me that it's hard for any words to come out straight.

Yeah, I don't like confrontation either, that's why I get walked all over by other people and taken advantage of. Better to learn to deal with confrontation. Also, I distance myself from my feelings in order to avoid confrontations, so I won't get angry, because I am afraid of the results of showing any anger or displeasure, and again, the results are bad. People have frequently told me I am "laid back".

I have no problem with confrontation - however if a boss tells me I am doing even the smallest thing wrong then in my head it is the worlds biggest problem and it just loops in my head. I'm pretty much out of action for 2 or 3 days until i sort myself out.

My family yells at me at times and alot of times I try to get away to my room and they yell GET IN HERE! My mom at times has called me a b***h and once when I yanked the phone from my 9 year old sister my mom said "I'll kill you if you do something like that again that's not a threat that's a promise." Alot of people on WP mention reporting her and how it must hurt on an emotional level which it does but for me it's become a natural thing so I just deal with it as it comes.