I totally fit this. I definately spend a lot of time planning out everything to the smallest detail and, yes, figuring out what could go wrong.
Shebakoby wrote:
People such as my parents tend to believe that this tendency is some cleverly constructed way to get out of doing things.
Yeah I get this too. I've been told that I pick things apart simply to find something I don't like about it so I have a reason to reject the advice or whatnot. This is not true. I'd say someone who does not 'pick apart' and evaluate advice to see if it would help their situation is a fool.
My ex-husband told me that I was a very negative person and was always complaining. This also is a misconception. I want to prepare for whatever possible things might go wrong so I try to anticipate them and come up with ways to counter them. And in voicing my concerns about how things might go wrong, I am perceived as complaining. But I don't necessarily reject circumstances that are difficult or have a high possibility of failure. I simply try to anticipate and compensate for potential failures which I deem as giving me a higher chance for success. I can't imagine 'just doing' something without trying to anticipate the pitfalls. Seems like a very stressful way to live and it seems to me that such an attitude would have a high chance for failure.
-edit-
ToughDiamond wrote:
... Apparently that wasn't what they wanted to hear - they were seeking reassurance and support for their plan rather than a literal answer to their question. ... Frankly that bothers me, and I wonder how groups avoid treading on banana skins if they don't want to see the banana skin map before they start walking.
I suspect that NTs are fond of collective "psyching up" exercises to spin all the doubt from their heads before they tackle anything complicated or difficult, and when they're doing that, anybody trying to point out the truth to them isn't going to win any friends.
I totally agree with this. This sounds a lot like what my ex was talking abount. You're apparently not supposed to point out the potential flaws in a situation because that makes you a negative person and makes everyone disheartened or something. The banana skin analogy is exactly how I feel about it. Great post
Its funny too because part of the reason I bring up the potential pitfalls of a situation is because I want to discuss them with the said other person and find solutions and reassurances. So in that way it is similar to the NT thing you mentioned above. I do want reassurances. I just want them to be real and fact based. I don't want to be told 'its ok,' I want to be told 'It will be ok because if that happens we can do this: *details plan*". But for some reason other people don't seem to get this and I am still perceived as negative. *sigh*