How far do you think an aspie can improve?

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In adapting or coping with the big wide world out there.

I was diagnosed nearly 15 years ago now, so at the age of 24 aspergers has been the majority of my life. But I seem to have gone from being very much a stereotypical aspie in my childhood and early teens to where i am now. Ive had help along the way such as speach therapy soon after my diagnosis which really improved my social skills quite alot. But now I seem to score more towards neurotypical then aspie in these various tests now and im wondering am i potentially cured? What If i went for an assessment of aspergers now with the assessor not knowing i was diagnosed asperger?

I feel ive improved very dramatically from childhood and it kind of disturbs me that I seem to be the only aspie who's had this rapid change or improvement from child to adult. Compared to some of the stories i read on various messageboards my problems seem so minor and it makes me feel kinda bad and guilty that i have no answer as to why ive made such improvements in the way i am.

I guess being diagnosed so long ago puts me at some kind of advantage but there must be something professionals and fellow aspies can learn from my experiance to help themselves out. What do people think here i'd like to some discussion on this as its primarily what is motivating me to forming a group in the Yorkshire area to help out other aspies.

Hi, Your message is so interesting to read..It is a positive feeling to know exactly why we are the way we are, to know that others relate to us being an aspie. For me, it is quite liberating, at my late age of 39, to finally see it so clearly... For you, the answer was given at an early age, which helped your parents begin early intervention for you. They provided the path for you to enter the social world a bit more prepared than most of us..The confidence you gained may have put you at ease bit by bit, helping you to focus and handle things and events better. I think it is wonderful, splendid, to hear that you are doing well...There is no cure for asperger's, autism, PDD, and we just endure as well as can be expected....There may be setbacks, of course, but it is so nice to hear that you are in a positive place in your life.. Any more info would be appreciated, as to how you dealt with communication with others, humor,stress, peer pressure, etc... Peace.. Thanks for sharing your story......!

I'm not certain that there is anything to be "cured." Functioning differently from the mainstream of humanity may be a much needed improvement. It is in my book.

There is at least one reason that reading this forum makes it seem like Aspies tend to have problems. It is because people who have problems gather together at forums like this and those who do not don't have much to talk about here.

My advice is to not even worry about "curing a condition." Concern yourself with learning how to navigate in the world as it is. Zen would tell you to take care of your insides by looking outside, and although zen paradoxes are not everything, it's a good idea. I still have to learn that not everything that goes on in the outside world is because there's someting "wrong" with me. My head still goes right into its hidey-hole every time something goes wrong.

Laz -

Thank you for your postive post!

My father was Aspie, my 10 y/o son is Aspie, and I am sandwiched some where in between. I believe I have a good understanding of both worlds, NT and AS, and that has helped me relate better with my son. My son was dx'd at 6 y/o, and my husband and I have done a lot to help him learn how to socialize better. But, I do worry so much about him and how life will be for him in adulthood. If you can think of anything your parents may have done to help you reach the way you are today, I would appreciate hearing about it.

Laz, you have timed your post quite close to one leaning the other way:

<<What do you think?>> also in general discussion.

I wonder if I'm going to sit in the middle and take fire from both sides?

There's coping with the normal (in the majority sense) world, and there's attempting to assimilate. I think those can be different things. There are "normal" values, and interests I really do not want to sucessfully acquire.

William Hazlitt (not an AS type, as faar as I know) put it this:
"Mankind are a herd of knaves and fools. It is necessary to join the crowd, or get out of their way, in order not to be trampled to death by them."

Looking at his two courses of action: it is because the crowd is so unthinking and herdlike that sometimes the best strategy can be to look like (not become) one of them.
At other times, yes the realisation that there is no "must" about fitting in with the crowd can be liberation indeed. Why should I do things the majority way, just because that's what it is? (There may be other reasons: liberated or not, I still drive on the conventional side of the road) Chosing to be different can be great, too.

The majority is going to determine the norm, and sometimes their approval, or at least lack of disapproval is going to make things easier. Some accommodation, and that is going to include cloaking, coping and masking skills, is going to come in very handy.
But aiming to be like them, as a prime objective? No way.

(copied, in main, over to the other thread)

Ok thanks for the replies just went off to cook some chicken vindaloo so lets just clarify a few things up

Rushfanatic my diagnosis provided not just answers to me and my parents and the education bodies at the time it was also a great closure for my father and grandfather who effectively experianced a similair liberating feeling from my diagnosis. To add to the stereotype they were both engineers so that clearly was something very stereotypical again of my diagnosis. I'd have a long story to tell, i have given thought to writing a book on the subject as i was one of the first children to have the aspergers diagnosis in my region of the UK i came from (hertfordshire) at the time.

I am not a pro-cure individual The reason i used the cure word is a challenge to the professionals who still have yet to really have a solid understanding or definition of aspergers and autism in general. I am very tempted to do some kind of test on an assessor to see if they would still pick up aspergers in my behaviour they have done so little research on aspergers that i think i would provoke quite alot of contraversy over such a move.



In my experiance aspies with internet access seem to be the privelaged ones there are plenty of aspies out there without computer access or who don't neccesarily want to use computesr or the internet. This is why im quite concerned about anyone on a potential committee of a future organistion i hope to setup i don't want to exclude them on the grounds they don't have the skills or the resources to afford computer access. It also means that i find people on various forums are not really representative of the population, not to mention international forums i do find fascinating purely because their clearly is a differance in who gets diagnosed in differnt nationalities. It is rather fascinating infact but again something i can't pin down into a thesis

Jsmom My mother fought against professionals who were convinced that I would probably be dependant on her (she is a single parent) for the rest of my life and that i would never be indepedant or be able to hold down a job etc. So from the outset i had a very bleak medical opinion, clearly because they had no idea WTF they were talking about to be frank and I have grown up to disprove everything these professionals said.

My biggest concern for aspie children is simply that even getting an education and having opportunities that in employment they will face discrimination because of two factors really. One the interview process is an absurd way of deciding who to recruit for a job and secondly i have very big issues with disclosure, I feel the knowledge of a persons aspergers to an employer should be on a need to know basis because I don't think employers judge kindly on medical labels. If i was to emmigrate outside the UK I would be very wary of disclosing my AS to an employer in the states or canada after all the problems I have in the UK.

It is not through my actions I was judged unsuitable for various positions it was because of being honest and declaring i had a label.

I have also been excluded from nursing trainning on the grounds of being a person with aspergers a doctor ruled i was permanently unfit to be a nurse. Although the university reveresed their decision and there are still issues unresolved from it i have been able to continue my trainning and as a consequence of me challenging the university I have secured future trainning and employment protection of people with aspergers in nursing which they did not have before

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Emettman I actually don't differ too much in some respects from your position. I am not sure to say if i have assihimilated/copied the general population or i have formed some kind of succesful masking strategy. I may be able to hide my asperger label quite easily but people always take note that im not your average person to meet. So I would say I have not so much assihimilated I would say I have carved out my own niche and found a comfortable way of operating in my own personal way.

I would say I am a very confrontational individual and I have set out to challenge the establishment and the professionals on aspergers. My trainning into learning disability nursing is a way through which i can gain a professional title and begin to challenge the profession from the inside. I am quite an enigma as the university previously who excluded me found out, i was going to be no push over aspie who would be labelled "permanently unfit to work as a nurse" and through challenging them I have developed a drive a determination to not let other aspergers go through the same experiances i am facing in education and employment. It has paid off and now it is garunteed by the nursing and midwifery body in the UK that aspergers wanting to train as nurses will be protected by the law from discrimination.

I am going into a field of nursing which is at the forefront of advocacy for vulnerable people and also is where nursing meets several other fields of professions and I feel it is an ideal position to begin a career were i can build on to challenge and be a force of change. I would encourage other aspies to train into the professions. Become psychologists, psychiatrists, speach therapists, doctors etc Being asperger is no barrier to ANY career at all.

I also challenege fellow aspergers as well, i am currently reviewing a book on disclosure by Dinah Murrey released by the publisher Jessica Kingsley and i hope to provide some constructive criticism on an issue that i am very glad to see being written about.

Im sure theres something ive missed but i'll try and answer people more direct then try and take everyone on in one post

I feel ive improved very dramatically from childhood and it kind of disturbs me that I seem to be the only aspie who's had this rapid change or improvement from child to adult. Compared to some of the stories i read on various messageboards my problems seem so minor and it makes me feel kinda bad and guilty that i have no answer as to why ive made such improvements in the way i am.

Is that what you were saying there?

Thank you. "Niche" is a good way to put it. It's a descriptive word I've come to apply quite a bit more lately. It's contrast might be "mainstream". My niche is professional and para-medical: I'm an optometrist.

I'm not sure about "no barrier to any career at all", but if any Aspie wants to be a game show host, may they go for it and go well. Me, I'd win the world chess championship before I won a local juggling one. I have skills, and decidedly less-skilled areas. But then I only need a niche.

Nice to hear

I can understand what you are saying but my attitude is a diagnosis should not be a self fullfillying prophecy of your potential. From day one i was prophecised to never get as far as i have done today and I think clearly that has given me a rather biased view point on the matter but either way I think providing someone is driven to achieve they should not be held back on the grounds of a diagnosis

Aspergers cannot be cured! It is a mental thing rather than an illness! Aspergers can also change as time goes by! Some changes are for the best and some changes are for the worst! If being an aspie you can adapt and pick up habits from n.t's but that still doesnt mean you have changed! I am glad that your happy! And I hope all goes well for you still!

Excellent, Excellent question.

I'm not sure really, but I've come a long way, but still feel I have a long way to go.

Well, when they think someone is peculiar, they will treat that person as peculiar and they will grow up in literally a different society, a different environment.

Remnant, I'm going to go "wordy" in order to firmly agree with you. With certain exceptions, societies are not renowned for accepting difference and peculiarity, and that latter word shows it.
It used to mean "individual", "unique":
"Let every creature rise and bring peculiar honours to our king" (Isaac Watts hymn)

But the popular usage of the word has shifted, seemingly coloured by what the public, by and large, think of unique and individual people:
"Deviating from the customary: bizarre, cranky, curious, eccentric, erratic, freakish, "
(the start of an on-line thesaurus definition of the adjective)

Sorry, I like words: I think they reveal a lot.

I certainly think that aspies can improve as far as social skills go. I've learned about the types of things that make other people uncomfortable, and so I generally am able to avoid doing/saying them unless I'm in the company of people that don't mind. I've also worked on my speech a lot, although I can still sound monotonous at times. And while some things that would be "common sense" for most aspies aren't to me, at least I was able to learn some of those things.

However, try as I might, I will always be a bit socially awkward, simply because things that come naturally to NTs don't come naturally to me. And I will never stop perseverating on things that most NTs consider to be mundane - I actually have tried in the past, but now I realize that there's no need to change that part of my personality. However, I am able to control myself from rambling on and on about them.