Regreting gaining skills?

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Recently have had had no problem getting adult jokes and inuindos in tv shows and am able to read my mom's basic body language and have been able to ask her about her work and caring about the news (when it is on) I won't ACTUALY seek out the news to watch it but I find it interesting when it is on. I

How can I make this stop? I hate it!! !! !! !! !! Maybe I am just having a "good dY/ few days?" I feel like I am loosing myself what if I am no autistic anymore?I still don't make eye contact though I have been looking at people when I am waiting for a response. I also look for a reaction Evan if I don't quite understand it but then I always thought the way NTs react to things to be a bit funny some but not all. I feel like I am more out of my own world and I want back in!

What can I do? I know this seemst like an odd post I'm sorry but I don't feel right and need advice. Is there a way lo get back in? Could I try isolating myself more would thad help? What if I listen to music on my head phones instead of interacting? Could that help? I know this must sound crazy but I don't feel like myself and it is scary I really need advice. I just feel like I am losing myself a d I don't want that I don't want who I am to change

Last edited by ASdogGeek on 23 Mar 2011, 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

Why... do you have so many grammar mistakes...

Never mind that. I have the same... "problem" (if you will) as you. The not wanting to change. The not wanting to lose the difference. My advice is to be happy that you are adapting and learning, because it makes it easier to communicate with other people and in the end, that benefits you more than being too different and receiving either pity or criticism for it. But if you fear changing, try to remember that you are still autistic, you won't ever be cured from it somehow, but you can progress and learn how to function as normally as possible, while still retaining some of those little quirks.

Sorry some of it is typing on an IPad but most of it is I have always been bad with grammar.

It is weird because the ease of comunication make me feel more "trapped," then I did without it and I end up feeling more confused at time. Maybe it is just my mom I can read better because I have lived with her for24 years? I hate also picking up in nonverbal cues and not understanding them or not knowing what to do! Maybe this will all fade I want to stay with what I know or not knowing what I didn't know. Are there any other as pie out there who pick up on sex innuendoes or jokes on tv show easily? Do they make them more obvious for tv?

Hi ASdoggeek! I love dogs too by the way!

I have had the same exact worry. At some point I gained the ability to fake smile in a way that doesn't look horribly pained, although I'm sure it still looks fake. If you don't like doing certain things, make a concerted effort to just not do them. I have at times heard myself saying stuff and doing stuff that was very NTish and I too felt I had lost myself. So I just decided not to do it again. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. In this case it's not good for retaining our senses as distinct persons. As for the sexual innuendo on TV - I think I always had the ability to recognize this but I blocked it mentally because I thought sexual humor was cheap. Now I can actually appreciate it and don't mind it and so I don't block it out. I say, whatever makes you feel bad, either block it out mentally or don't do/say it from now on and hopefully you'll start feeling more like yourself again.

By the way I never in a million years would have imagined a few years ago when I was struggling with these issues that someone else would ever understand! But I've been proven wrong!

I think the thing with TV is simply that the innuendo and "jokes" are expected beforehand, and even with a bit of anticipation.

Overall, it is not at all uncommon for people to find/feel security in the familiar, and to be anxious about new experiences or change ... and sometimes it can really be scary to walk on into a new room after a door has been opened.

I've felt exactly this way too.....I've actually thought "I want to go back to my own little world" as people described me as being in my own little world for most of my life.........I love this site!

I like cats and not dogs though.....incidentally

I love cats they were my first obsession! They are still very special to me but I also love dogs too! Purchase do you a dog?

I am so glad I'm not alone! Though after a shower and some stinking I feel a bit better and more like me

Never fear - a few new skills and a curiosity to put them to the test won't rewire your brain. You'll still be autistic. You'll just be an autistic that now gets jokes!

ASdogGeek - I have a dog! She's not a service dog like is mentioned in your signature - that sounds really interesting, I didn't realize there were service dogs for autistic people.

i wonder if i would find it overwhelming if suddenly the psychic curtains obscuring NT non-verbal wisdom were parted for me, and i could clearly see it and comprehend it in all its grotesquery, like watching wild horses boffing in the meadow uncensored for the first time.

Actually the more you work on skills they more they stay. The brain is plastic. I'm not saying you can cure autism that way, nor do I even care to but to more focus you put into something the more connections made in the brain, and all the old habits begin to disappear because the brain needs to make room for new information. So basically the brain is constantly rewiring itself.

I wish I could go back to not speaking much, even though I have had more experiences through being able to communicate. But even though I have new skills I still have deficits. Yeah I can talk to people but I still don't understand a lot of social rules and most times I can't stand people. I still can't work or live Independently.
I prefer to be in my own little world, clueless about other people and maybe people will see just how different I am so they stop treating me like I should know things that seem like common knowledge to them.

Another reason to hate the pro-autism propagandists.

The OP is making progress in life, and the first thing he worries about is if its a bad thing.

So sad.

She is, I think, allowed to feel as she wants to about her progress. No need to make it - or her - into a cause.

Developing a few skills will not change who you are. Really, it won't. From my experience, progress is very erratic, and you make a lot of progress at some times, and very little at others, and sometimes you even end up losing ground. Despite all of the progress that I have made, I still feel like myself. If anything, the progress that I have made have made it easier for me be myself. I feel less of a need to keep up a front to hide behind.

Sure she is allowed to think whatever she wants, and I am allowed to think that it is sad that she has been brainwashed by fanatics.

More like laying down new wiring overtop of the old circuitry... new skills won't change the old circuits, just add a few bonus features to the old system... upgrade to brain 1.2...