'Curing'-another thread asking everyone here-

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I do have other problems but would not want to be cured of any of the AS ones, simply because I don't see them as a problem or difficutly the way NTs do.

For example not liking to be touched and preferring to be alone. I don't care if NTs think it's not normal to want to be touched or prefer to be alone rather than partying. It's not something I want to be 'cured' of.

But I would love to hear thoughts from others who have seriously hurt themselves, or thoughts about being a 'runner' that will impulsively go into dangerous situations (kids who run into streets and things like that). What's your opinion about curing those of us on the spectrum? Or have children that do that. We can't let them run but would you want them to learn to cope in the world and be taught alternative behaviors or to be cured so they automatically know what behaviors are 'right'?

And what about others like me who act like an NT for the most part. I just know how much of each stimuli I can handle, say no to things I am invited to without warning that I might have enjoyed if it weren't a spontaneous (spelling?) invitation. Most people are good about not touching me. There will always be someone who forgets or does it anyway or that I don't see often enough to ask them not to touch me. Would you like to be 'cured'?

Or is it coping skills that should be taught since we have to live in an NT culture most of the time? NTs seem to think teaching coping skills and curing ASD 'disorders' (their word not mine) are the same thing.

Teaching and learning coping skills is not the same as being cured. Opinions anyone?

I'm like you in that I am NT-ish some of the time. I don't want to be cured- then I wouldn't be me. But I think treating destructive symptoms and teaching are a different story entirely.

I think people should leave harmless things alone like dislike of being held or touched or hugged or harmless stims. Only fix things that will make their lives easier such as communication and of course if their stimming is harmful or disruptive, have them do it when they are alone and try and give them a another stim to do so they aren't hurting themselves. Like give them a pillow or something soft to bang their heads on. I don't care what psychology says but it's talking about the norm (the majority) and how their minds work but they don't talk about the minority such as us unless it's about developmental disorders and other things.
I can see why sensory issues can be a problem like lets say the child has issues with sand on their feet, it is going to effect the whole family because they can't go to the beach or one of them has to stay behind while the rest are on the beach swimming and making sand castles flying kites. They would have to leave the child home with a baby sitter. But however , if the child was old enough and capable of being on its own, they can leave their kid in the hotel room or condo as the rest of them go to the beach. If the kid had issues with light, it can cause problems for the rest of the family. Same as if the kid had clothing issues, causes problems for the parents because then it makes it harder for them to shop for new clothes. So that's why some sensory issues need to be fixed through therapy. I see it as fixing because it's getting rid of it and solving the issue.
Sure harmless stimming can cause problems because then it targets bullies but the child can decide if they want to work on that and not do it in school to reduce the bullying.
Obsessions are no big deal but if the child is abandoning all their school work, not going to bed, not taking baths, not eating, then that is a problem and the kid needs to learn to do important things that need to be done.
Also teaching respect, don't talk about your obsessions so often unless people don't mind you talking about it to them.



I do agree there are things we should change about ourselves so we are easier to be with and people accept us more. It's like this for everyone, not just us. If everyone refused to change for someone such as not using sarcasm when they are with a person because it bothers them so much or not showering all the time, then everyone would be having problems fitting in and everything all the time. There are groups of people out there I can't even stand due to the way they are such as not respecting my point of view so they argue with me about everything until I agree with them and it's irritating. They go on my block list for that. I run from them. People who are never serious and joke all the time, I also run from. If they don't want to respect me by not doing those things to me, well then they are not nice people. Sometimes we have to follow someones standards. My little brother doesn't like being yelled at so when you're mad at him, you have to talk nicely to him about it because screaming at him, he shuts you out. So my mom is always talking to him and I can't even tell if she is mad at him until she says she is. I notice how cooperative my brother is when she talks to him in her normal tone of voice.

Even normal kids get "fixed" if we want to see it that way because parents do teach them things and tell them to not do this or that. So us learning normie skills I don't see it as changing who we are and stuff because I see it as an extra boost we need. While normal kids are able to learn things on their own but still need to be taught things, some others need a boost by getting extra help in developing. Even MR kids get help and they are taught skills they need to know like dressing, putting their clothes away, hanging up their coat. Some even learn how to clean or manage their money or learn how to cook.

So there are things about us that don't need to be fixed because they are not a big deal and so what if it's "not normal." People need to accept differences. In fact i think it's showing disrespect when you keep trying to hold your baby and it doesn't want to be held. I think it's showing disrespect if you keep trying to hug someone and they don't want it. I told my husband he can go ahead and torture our baby and disrespect it, I will just wear ear plugs. He is stuck on the normality thing. But yet has no desire to force things on me because "I'm an adult." But he still hugs me because he still needs it he says. But he doesn't do it often out of my respect.

Questions: What about people who injure themselves in meltdowns (In my opinion that is different from self-injury because of depression)? Do you think they should be cured more than others with AS? Or if you are one who has that type of meltdown do you think your opinions of cure are different than those of us who don't do that?

Question: What about kids or people who can't answer yes or no?
Questions: Are answers of is ASD should be cured different for different people? That some on the spectrum should be cured but not others and if so where is the distinction? Or should no one be cured but only taught alternative behaviors?

Questions: Are there any groups that are for studying MRIs and other physical things of those of us on the spectrum that also respect not curing us? Or do all the groups and organizations that study us want to make us 'normal' like the NTs and only see NT as normal? Because I do support things like studying MRI, FMRIs, etc to compare brain differences but the cures should be left up to us. Are there any groups that let us do that?

I know the decision needs to be mine but there is one that might pay for something I need (local so it won't make a difference to anyone else) but I don't yet know enough about it. How can I support something that looks looks into differences of ASD and probably want's to focus on cure? But I might need what it can offer.

Please, can someone answer the questions.

Offer me a cure and id take it. I dont even some problems of AS such as sensory issues and obsessive interests. This makes it worse in a way. Being so close to normal but not quite there is the worst thing cos you can never accept loneliness cos of the times youve been so close. And every time something goes wrong it just confirms that you cant do it and makes it worse. I dont seem to have any of the 'good' traits either. Id be interested in what would change with me if i was fixed.

I do have some self destructive behaviour but im trying to work out if its from the AS or because of severe frustration or depression due to the thought of having it. Im fairly sure its the latter but i dunno. I dont even know what a 'meltdown' is supposed to be. I understand sensory problems but emotional? If you took an NTs life away from him telling him hes not allowed to have friends, hold a job, fall in love, have children, etc. hes gonna be pretty pissed about it too let me tell you! I hear of NTs punching brick walls, smashing mirrors, throwing things. It probably happens more than we think. But no one talks about it cos it helps the labeling.

For myself I get pissed off whenever i exhibit an AS trait. Yesterday my brother sneezed in the next room and i jumped a little bit, paused for half a second then rammed a fist into my computer screen. One of my fingers still hurts and maybe i should get it looked at! Today i woke up after a bad dream and i was sweating and without even thinking about it i jammed my hand into the fan above my bed. These things are almost a reflex now! Its funny, my fan was making funny noises and ever since i did that its been really quiet.

I may be able to blame my parents for part of that. After my diagnosis at 14 it almost felt like my mother was studying me and didnt really care. Like she was waiting for me to show traits so she could write them down and share them with her friends to show them how anything i might do wrong wasnt cos of her bad parenting. Looking back, i realise she didnt have any friends. But everyone in my extended family knows and maybe they treat me differently cos of it. I hate that.

I have run out onto the road once when i was younger but i didnt expect anyone to hit me. I think i was making a point about something. I dont remember.

Offer me a cure and id take it, obviously!

Hopefully i dont kill the topic!

I cannot be "cured" because I am not "sick" from Asperger's.
I have indolent Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and I would love to be "cured" from that. But I can't die from Asperger's.

I wouldn't hesitate to be cured of my sensory problems. But I wouldn't want to change anything else.

Refer to my previous statemnts on the subject

It's not a matter of cure. It's a matter of understanding and teaching.

Example. SiBs. Okay, so in general, it's a bad idea to hurt yourself to try to cope with stuff, because it doesn't work forever and it doesn't deal with the main issue. However, sometimes it's relatively harmless, and you don't have to get drastic. NTs don't understand that sometimes; a kid who's slamming their arms into things or biting themselves in a superficial way, isn't really hurting themselves in a way that's any sort of emergency. Even headbanging doesn't require any more than a helmet. But I've heard stories of kids in restraints and on Haldol for this stuff, for hurting themselves less than what a kid in high school football would get during practice.

Of course, you have to understand the difference in sensory systems. The kid mightn't feel pain like you do, or not perceive it as negative. Doesn't just refer to non-verbal kids, either; for example there are certain sorts of pain that to me feel neutral and sometimes mildly pleasant, and I'm either Aspie or PDDNOS depending on the doctor.

Okay. So what somebody using SiBs needs is NOT a cure. Usual procedure, in my opinion, should be to find out which basic type you're looking at--whether it's stress-based, whether it's a result of depression or dissociative episodes as it usually is in NTs, or whether it's a kind of stim. If it's the first, you deal with the stress (often sensory stress). If it's the second, you deal with the depression or the dissociative symptoms. If it's the third, you redirect the stim to something else that doesn't cause injury.

I had to solve this problem for myself, incidentally. For me it was a stress/depression combo, with the stress (sensory and transition overload) being the first symptom and, when it became inescapable, produced depression. All sorts of behavior-modification and antipsychotic medication was tried, but I didn't get a thing out of it until I was diagnosed and figured out... hey, I have a source of stress that most people don't have. Until then, I'd been telling myself that losing some of my mental coherence and becoming angry, annoyed, frightened, and desperate during times of unexpected events and sensory overload was simply a sign that I was an immature brat who couldn't handle life and should get a hold of herself. Learning about autism was the key I needed to solve the problem. Before diagnosis, the frequency of various types of self-injury (thankfully not including headbanging since childhood) had been multiple times daily. After, actively either avoiding or preparing for sources of stress, nowadays it's a few times a year. Problem solved, right?

I'm going to guess that a lot of problems which autistic people face and which seem insurmountable have solutions like the one I found. It may be that in the case of a non-verbal child, you're going to have to watch behavior and use the communication they have really carefully before you can understand what's going on, and figure out how to help them solve it. However, I really don't think that these are problems that require a "magic cure", any more than a neurotypical needs to be "cured" to stop them gossiping or bullying others, which are just as unacceptable as head-banging or running into traffic, with the exception that they cause injury to others as well as to oneself.

I'm constantly looking for a cure.

I'm only a tiny bit aspergers and I pick up on all of my mistakes. You think I could learn from them but it's impossible, you can't change the autistic side, things just come out, you realise then look up to see if your mates notice and sure enough you can feel their confusion/discomfort. The autistic side mainly causes generally random, incessant blabbering in a struggle not to lose attention for me anyway. Being aware of the fact that I can randomly blurb out these things gives me a very intense social anxiety almost every time and it only gets worse and worse as I know the longer I do it the more obvious it gets. I have a lot of friends my best mates I've known well for 6yrs and other 10yrs (I'm only 20) although I don't seem that bad, it's bad enough to make me feel not connected with them near enough to the extent that I should me. I'm also not capable of making it on my own, I need other people. It's a massive struggle between the 2 and I cannot take it. I will search for a cure even if it consumes my life.

It will.

I don't wish to be cured of my autism. I think that the general population needs to be cured of their ignorance.

I do not wish for a cure. If I hadn't have had AS, my life wouldn't have been the same. I probably would have had an easier life, but not a better life. Even the social impairment has it's good side - the friends i do have, and the very few moments of "connection" I have, are all the more valuable. I thoroughly enjoy my special interests, especially the 'natural high' I get when I am writing or having ideas for writing. Now that the people around me are becoming less ignorant, I am quite glad I am always the different one! I have spent most of my life wanting to be like 'normal' people, but now I see that NTs aren't that perfect either. I certainly don't think that I am better than them, but while they have good qualities that I do not, I, and other Aspies that I know, have good qualities that they do not have. Me, and the people that I know on the spectrum, are all unique, intelligent, funny, decent individuals. As Winston Smith wrote in Orwell's 1984, 'sanity is not statistical' - Just because people with AS are the minority, it doesn't mean that we are wrong or defective. If there were less judgemental, ignorant people, I think that my life would have been so much easier.

If someone handed me a syrenge and said this would make you normal.... I've actually thought about this alot even before I know I was an Aspie. If you "cured" it, it would change my perspective and it would therefore change me. I would be someone else for all intents and purposes. Besides... I've spent 36 years learning to be a (mostly) functional Aspie. I don't think I COULD function as an NT.

I agree with you CockneyRebel. In fact part of the reason I am doing a music ministry is so that I can educate a little bit on what autism is---and what it is not (the stereotypes).

I like who I am and would never want to change that.

I have an AS son, and we are helping him with little issues that he has. But if someone offered him a cure---I would be against it. He is a loving little boy and we would not want him changed. He is happy, and although he realizes he is different, he remains happy.

Its a nice idea to say that autism and AS could be cured but that's kind of like saying you could cure "people going hunting" a lot of how people behave is also how they are raised and the experiences in their lives. I honestly that very little would come out of curing the biological aspects of aspergers because people's life experiences would most likely maintain their personalities and social skills.