Hi! This is Ghosthunter
Recently I have been going through a high anxiety period
and had a chance to look at my coping mechanism's.
This also brought up a question!
Questions to others wrote:
WHAT COPING MECHANISM'S DO YOU USE IN HIGH ANXIETY?
WHAT USUALLY CAUSES HIGH ANXIETY?
HOW EFFECT ARE YOUR COPING MECHANISM?
I will be the first to start and hopefully others
will be willing to share. Here goes..............!
High Anxiety and Creativity wrote:
I am a outward introvert person mostly because my own
thoughts bring me down by reviewing bad things in my
life. By using creativity and writings, and video I am
able to usually diffuse negative inward energies that
distract me and pull me down.
Reason for this current high anxiety wrote:
The reason for this current high anxiety is because the
person responsible for teaming with me to aide me
in job finding(Vocational Rehabilitation) is unreliable.
Here is a example......
I am to go for on-site evaluations with Margie of KCQ, Inc.
She is the agencies Vocational Rehabilitation Evaluator.
She seemed nice, but looks can be decieving.
how deceiptful Margie was wrote:
Hmmmmm? How decieving? She didn't call, write,
nor make contact throughout November and most
of December about the stagnant and depressing silence
of a so called evaluator that was suppose to be part of
this Vocational Rehabilitation Path.
When i and BeeBee confronted Susan on this, Margie
wrote us up as the bad guy. And acted like their was
now problem. This is what burnt my patience out with
Vocational Rehabilitation thus set firm timelines.
2006's Margie Silence wrote:
Supposedly on January 31st I, Susan(my Voc. Rehab. social worker)
and Margie were to work together. So a week late I arrive to
Susans Dakota County Office and I sign the papers understanding
that social cues and behavioral cues were to be assessed and
resume work was to be done, and most of all Margie was
to be my Advocate for a job assigned by Susan.
So, fine! I wait almost 2 weeks later with no phone calls,
and/or other form of contact with this Advocate Margie.
I later inform Susan after I and BeeBee aren't too pleased
in the progress of Margie!
Then after this Susan phone call Margie calls and acts
like their was no problem, RIGHTTTTT!
You folks have the root of the stress. No job means no school and
thus back to California and oh! Well! At least Barbra Luskin, PHD
gave me a diagnoses, I got a V.A.P from Susan and hopefully
some behavioural training stuff for future job interview, helped
by Barbra Luskins help.
I destress in 4 ways:
1)...Understanding the problem and what I am doing?
2)...Find creative means to alleviate the stress.
3)...Find points of target to aim the negative s**t
so the good stuff can happen
4)...Post my views, make a video and give face to
my feelings.
________________________
Step 1, Understanding my reactions and problems wrote:
This is the complex part. Parts of my life are buried in
symbolic jestures that are triggered indeliberately by others
not knowing this.
Other parts are needing visual and verbal, as well as
written forms to express.
here is what was occuring wrote:
Thus in my room by myself I slowly get absorbed into
my negative void.
Once inside this void things that I usually ignore become
veryyyyyyy acuuuuttttte! To a almost trigger like sensitive
point.
Thus feeling dejected by Margies silence and being
sensitive to my envirement, be it sound, laughter,
and such.
Thus reverting to a state of living at Karl's House.
Karl is my Grandmothers 2nd husband. During my
adolesence he would make it clear that it was HIS
FOOD, HIS HOUSE AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THERES
THE DOOR. AND THE BIGGIE: "BOY KEEP PLAYING
THE PIANO IN THE HOUSE THERE'S THE DOOR"-I was 15
at that time. From that point on I followed the path
of not feeling loved and wanted and walked the streets
most of my life lonely. He and I get along now, but
the damage is done.
Most demanding and insulting things amplify my adolesent
years and karl. Being rejected at coffee shops was
Karl related feelings. ect......
This is what happens when I go deep inside and fear
to leave my room. That is what happened for 1.75 weeks.
__________________
Step 2, Creative means and ways wrote:
This is the tricky part. I would often have to access
the feelings to understand the outlet, and thus
I must go deeper than I like, and occasionally slip too
deep.
Regarding my annoyance with Margie wrote:
Due to this being the reason I slipped into my obysssess
of nothingness but negative energy, I vented out
with a powerful blast of concentration from
the past.
I posted my Censorship issues I still have with Vetivert.
and the card issue with Alex, but in my opinion resolved
in the current day. Just remembering these events
and putting them in a post made powerful negative
energy discharge at a past memory.
Some Applogizes wrote:
Sorry Vetivert for putting you in my line of fire.
Sorry Alex for putting you in my line of fire.
Putting a video face to things wrote:
The rest got vented into a "Hermoine Haunted Video".
Normally I just do videos on Friday-Sunday, but this
doesn't count. This was to ventilate chaos.
And low and behold she finally called and said Friday
1:30pm to meet her(Margie). Geeeez about time!
grrrrrr! at least I ventilated not on you.
---------------------------------------------
finding a target for these energies wrote:
They were targeted at past events that still evoke
rage, thus give the current energies of negativity
a solid Patronus-reverse(Not good memories but bad)
output.
Sorry Alex,
Sorry Vetivert.
----------------------------------------------
Final part is giving my postive voice a face, That is
why I am writing this after the video was completed,
and feeling assessed.
sincerely,
Ghosthunter
17 Feb 2006, 5:02 am
