If you had been born NT

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I wonder sometimes how my life would have been different if I had been born NT instead of autistic.

I've recently had a rethinking, considering my personality and which is attributed to autism, which isn't.

Instead of being a slightly conservative nerdish guy who is addicted to classical music, as a NT I would have been a unconventional quite politically radical geek. I would been into computers, gaming, programming and hacking (which I am not). Although they would not be all consuming obbessions for me, I would have other interests like cars, aussie rules football, plus girls (digitally animated or real) and partying. I suspect I would be big into techno, rap, hip-hop and especially grunge and metal.

I would been still fairly introvered and shy, but had a few friends in primary and high school and maybe while not being terribly successful in the dating game, dated a bit and would have had a few girlfriends by now. I would feel I would be working now in some IT job as a programmer, network administrator or working in a computer store.

If i was NT rather than aspergers, i'd probably hate myself rather than be pained by embarassing memories because i wouldnt remember the actual events, and i'd just group up the memories subconsciously as a self hate.

I had a dream about this just last week that I was functionally and psychologically more social and adaptable to new situations.

I do not use the terms N.T or Aspie or autism social labels. I understand what they mean but to me they are not logical entirely.

In the dream I was in this social place sort of like how I can imagine myself to be different but able to just carry on with conversation like others I have observed. I still do not get why I am not like others really, I am somewhere between but entirely left out. I went to sleep thinking what it would like to be like others... Would I have a job, a life and well normal things...

I think now and have thought many times that to be like others, would not really be something I want. It does not appeal to me.

I don't know what I'd be like if I weren't autistic since I don't have any brothers or sisters to contrast and compare to. Only my dad and possibly my mother's father were autistic, too, but everyone else was definitely not neurologically typical. A whole load of disorders have run rampant through my family...

If I didn't have AS, I'd most likely have something else.

If I didn't have AS, I wouldn't be me Therefore I can't get my head around this question because I can't see myself as anything other than what I am.

It's really difficult to say what would happen because I'd have to know how every personality trait of mine was affected by AS. During my teenage years, I had terrible judgment and often got myself into trouble because of it. However, I didn't get out much at that age (pretty sure that's because of AS) and it's likely that I avoided making some really, really big mistakes as a result. If I had my immaturity at that age coupled with no AS, I think my life might be a lot worse right now.

If I didn't have Asperger's Syndrome, I would probably get higher marks and spend less time on the computer. Most likely, I would probably be homophobic since having AS somehow allows me to understand non-normal people more (although I'm heterosexual). I would also make fun of people who don't meet the standards and judge my friends on what they're wearing and whether they're gay or not. Not to stereotype normal people though, I have some normal friends who aren't homophobic and who are very understanding about my condition unlike all the other friends I've had who manipulated me for my games, their own enjoyment, or for my money.

I don't know where I would be without asperger's. I would probably not be as ambitious or as hard working as I am now if I didn't have asperger's though. Few of my NT friends would choose my courseload and stuff if they had a choice not to and I think I only do the things I do because AS has impacted me through the natural human desire to fit in. I couldn't fit in through nature and I feel alone a lot of the time so therefore I try to get academic and (hopefully) financial success hoping that will pave the way for my life.

If I had been NT, I would probably be dead right now.

Being an Aspie (or whatever passes for it, since I'm not officially diagnosed) means that my emotions matter much less to me than they do to other human beings.

I lived through about ten years of abuse at the hands of two stepfathers; and if I had not been able to intellectualize the negative emotions this brought about, my depression (which I do have, and which is currently in remission) would have lead to suicide (which it has not).

I think that, as an intellectually-oriented person, I have a greater capacity to survive emotional turmoil than most people; but it's also harder for me to deal with my feelings, making recovery more of the "slow-but-steady" variety than the "breakthrough" sort.

If I wasn't AS, I would have followed all of the trends, when I was in High School, back in the Late 80s and Early 90s. I probably would have had a Boyfriend, at the age of 16. I would have had a lot of friends, because I would have talked to everybody about everything. I would have been a good athelete. I might have been on the Girls Soccer Team. I would have been into Hair, Make-up and Boys, instead of London, London and London. I would have been more sarcastic and less accepting of people who are different. I would have snuck out of the house and gone to Drinking Parties. I would have been Sexually Active, before I've graduated from High School. Pardon me about the Sex part. I might have been Home Comming Queen.

However, I wouldn't trade my Accent, Modesty and Creativity for all of that Hype that I've mentioned above.

I don't spend much time on it but I have thought about being NT somewhat. I will admit that I didn't follow the "I" and then "he" throughout the scenario.

Generally, I think of being in the backyard with the neighbor men and doing that manly deed of barbecuing, drinking beer, and talking enthusiastically about sports. We each have a cell phone clipped to our hip and our SUVs sit in the drive. The dutiful women are in the house doing the actual work that makes the whole affair come together.

I don't think of such as wanting it to be but more of wondering what the appeal of such is to them. The smoke and smell of the acual fire bothers me and gets in my hair and clothes and I have to shower and change right away. I can't justify spending that much on a vehicle. I refuse to own a cell phone (that's a whole rant right there). I don't know nor care who is playing the super bowl or world series. I prefer the semi-controlled smells and sounds of indoors.

I'm grateful that I'm not NT but sometimes wonder what makes them function. I'm glad that I am who and what I am.

Well, I probably wouldn't have been here, but other than that, I have no idea. I can't imagine what it would have been like.

Chances are, I'd have more social experience behind me but be in a less satisfying relationship. My impression of NTs in relationships is that most are always on the lookout for something better, whereas I tend to find what works for me, stick with it and try to improve it.

Job-wise, I'd have a job that nearly any intelligent person could do, acquired through social networking, and which pays more than my current merit/skill-based position. [rant] I think the 'plum' jobs are often reserved for peoples' buddies, and only grudging acceptance exists for the involvement of those like myself who are willing/able to do things that others can't or won't. But that's only a perception from my particular vantage point. [/rant]

I'd be even more of a tosser then i am now

OK, as a disclaimer, a psychiatrist said that there were some AS characteristics, but I seem to be less impaired than some Aspies. That said, it seems like everyone has their own issues - both NTs and Aspies. So sure, there are things that frustrate me now, but I think it'd be naive to say that if I was NT, everything would be perfect.