There might be a question in here somewhere :0)

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I don't know why I was remembering this or why it hit me so strongly yesterday that I felt like writing about it. Maybe it's just a vent or maybe there is a question in there somewhere or maybe I just want to know if anyone can relate.

Years ago I had a really good friend. She really loved me genuinely and so I have no doubt that her intentions were pure and that she was just trying to help me. But I smile a lot and sometimes I smile when I am alone because I can be in my own world sometimes and there are lots of things about my own world which make me smile. Of course back then no one, including me, knew that I was Aspie. But she told me that because I smile a lot for no reason I was a fake person and not sincere and genuine in what I was really feeling. She brought it up when she happened to see me sitting in my car alone smiling from ear to ear. I don't think I had a radio in that car. I have always felt things very strongly like most Spectrumites do so of course this comment was completely ridiculous. But I can see why people thought I was fake, and some people did. I can see that they would think that because I did kind of look flaky I guess and most people never knew about the intensity of my struggles because I always had to learn to hide them. But I was recently thinking about different people who have been in my life and how the way they saw me and some of the things they said to me were pretty harsh even though they never meant to be harsh. I think if they knew that I was Aspie and even knew what it meant to be that perhaps they would have said or thought different things about my personality.

sounds like the bulk of those people were, at best, "frenemies."

Sounds like projection to me too. I used to have a "friend" that always waited until I was finally relaxed in his company before telling me how "difficult" I was.