My old boss has been lying about me for months!

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*I know this kinda belongs in the work and stuff forum but I prefer posting in here and I'm hoping for a few replies quite quickly, so maybe I'll feel better, and the other forums just aren't as populated*

My best friend, who still works at the well-known charity book shop I used to work for, called today to tell me he's rewriting the reference he found from our boss for me because it was so awful! I feel so betrayed and angry. I also feel, underneath it all, that I must deserve it in some way. And I feel like a fool, because I've been attending interviews all year and I bet his stupid reference is what has been letting me down.

He wrote that I only worked there for two weeks and he never knew when I was coming in. It's not true - it's just 100% factually inaccurate. I worked there about 2 months and even looked after the shop while he was away on business a few times. I learned how to open up in the morning and cash up at night. I was trusted with the keys - how could I have only been there 2 weeks? I even answered the phone when people asked for the manager if he wasn't in and I hate phones. I thought I was well-liked, he seemed to be really pleased with my work.

I think he has done this because I left suddenly. I got a voluntary position with the NHS - which I am still doing and it has worked wonders on my CV as, for now, I want to work in hospital admin and retail just isn't my thing. I didn't tell him right away that I was leaving because I didn't want to leave, I felt like I'd really found a nice place where I fit in and was trusted. Ironically, I didn't want to let him down. After a couple of weeks I did let him know, by text as I have no land line, hadn't enough mobile credit for a call and couldn't just pop in like before as I had moved further away (another reason why I hadn't let him know earlier, I was busy moving). The text was long, 3 or 4 messages long, and said why I hadn't let him know sooner and why I was leaving etc. He didn't reply.

The most annoying thing about all of this is that the reference my friend found is very important so I can't yell at my ex-boss about it. Also my friend still works there and will get in trouble for telling me about it. I have to let my him alter it to be accurate, send it off and never say anything about it. Never go in and say "Why have you done this to me? A single woman who lives alone and has rent to pay, who has a degree but hasn't been able to get a job for nearly a year. I get that you were disappointed I left and maybe even upset about how I handled letting you know - but months of bad references? Continually telling people I lied about how long I worked for you and wasn't reliable? I don't deserve that and I hope you are ashamed."

The only saving grace here is that about a month ago one of the people I worked for at the hospital offered to be a referee for me and I replaced the charity shop guy with her as I felt her input would be more relevant to the kinds of jobs I was applying for. Thank god.

If I'm not mistaken, in the U.S. potential employers are able only to verify that someone worked somewhere and for how long. I guess it works both ways. You can't find out if someone is a bad potential employee but it also prevents abuses like the one described. People leave on short notice or no notice all the time. It's not ideal but I think this guy has been unnecessarily vindictive. I'm glad your friend was looking out for you.

Actually, save for a lawsuit, a boss can write up or state whatever reference they want. In court, the only thing they would have to prove is if what they said was actually true. Now most large companies make it a point to only allow managers to say certain things but that is because large companies are large targets for lawsuits. If this was a small company, very few lawyers would actually want this case.

Thanks Aimless. My friend is great, I'm so lucky. The office I used to work at does the whole just confirming you worked there thing and it's good if you didn't do so good there and wanna cover it up but if you need a real reference it can be frustrating. Luckily one of my old lecturers always gives me a character reference and she loved me so with that and my NHS reference I'm ok.

I have no idea about how it works in the UK..

I've heard the same thing as what Aimless said, so far as references in the US.. but I don't know the details, or to what extent it's a legal issue vs. a company policy issue. (Bhetti probably knows..)

But if the stuff he's saying is flat-out untrue and it's easily proven that it's untrue, I can't imagine that it could be remotely legal..

Bad accolades topic

This has happened to me. The best thing I have found are reference letters and personal telephone references.

I used to work for Old Navy and their policy is not to give positive or negative references. However, they sure want positive references from other employers.

I really SAVED the last place I worked at. Customers got a LOT of help. My ex boss told customers I was a "GENIUS" when I was there, etc... I KNOW this because THE CUSTOMERS told me! TO THIS DAY he says he will never know what I do.

STILL, as a reference, he STINKS! So don't take it personally. My CURRENT boss is like my last boss was, and he might do the same after I leave. OH WELL.

And YEAH, the US has LOTS of laws but NONE are really enforced. If you are white, conservative, and male, and want to fight it, you are pretty much ON YOUR OWN. Latinos/as, blacks, liberals, liberal women, etc.... have organizations that will fight it but, unless it REALLY helps their cause or the opponent is BIG, THEY may decline.

There's a reply here at Total Jobs to a question about bad references. The site says that an employer's reference must be true and accurate.

http://www.totaljobs.com/Contents/Editorial/Whatcanidoaboutabadreference.html

But it is difficult as to what to do about it in your case, as your friend still works at the shop.

I've never understood why people do such things. There's no excuse for an employer lying on a reference for a former employee. I can't even imagine what is going on in that person's soul. If he's done it to you, he's probably done it to others (and will continue to do so in the future) - some day it's going to come back to bite him.

Betrayal is one of the worst things I can think of - it has always torn me apart when it has happened to me, so I can understand what it is doing to you.

The up side, is that you have a true friend who was looking out for you - to catch the lies & replace them with truth.

is there any way you can prove that you worked there longer than he said?

Paycheck stubs, I would assume. Or a bank statement if you used direct deposit.

if the guy has a conscious at all, you could try writing him a card thanking him for the trust he put in you when you worked there, and tell him it's always bothered you that you couldn't give proper notice because you loved working for him even though it was only a few months and that you miss your job and think about him and the crew often. it is the holiday season after all and people send all kinds of weird cards, and if he has a heart at all he'll feel guilty over being a dick.

In Canada, it is hard for an employer to lie, since they have to account for income tax collected and how many employees they have and such.If an employer lies about how long an employee worked there and such, and the revenue Canada documents are brought up, then it would be proof they lied.If the Revenue Canada documents are wrong, and there are paystubs saved to prove otherwise, employer might find themselves in trouble with Revenue Canada.Lying to the government here is a big NO NO.
Last year, I had an employer once who laid me off because I didnt fit in with the "petty politics" and they put on my ROE that I was fired.They lied and told me I was being let go due to overstaffing.I brought this to the Service Canada Centre since I was getting student financing.The employer actually changed their statement to that of me being laid off after they got contacted by the government.And if they do anything to contradict that they had laid me off due to overstaffing, they will be in trouble with the government.

To clarify a few things:

Yes it was a voluntary position so no paychecks but there's really no need to prove anything. Any jobs that he gave references for in the past are over now, I didn't get them. Anything in the future will get my new reference. Only problem is the few that I still haven't heard back from which have him as a reference. They will have to be sacrificed. The one I got my friend to alter was important, it was for the temp staff department at the hospital, lots of potential work in it. If I do anything to challenge the guy now he will know what we did and may call them. Also, my friend, for his pains, should not end up fired.

Thanks for the support and advice. It was a shock to be so betrayed by someone I didn't know had any ill will towards me but it's his loss and he's just bitter.