I hate hanging out with groups, for all the reasons stated above. This is a real problem for me at the moment too.
I'm about to drop out of socializing with this group of friends my husband and I hang out with, it's just too stressful because we're always in a group of 6 or more. In a work situation it's unavoidable, but I have got to cut down on stress when it's avoidable by simply staying home. I used to self-medicate with alcohol but it doesn't work as well as it used to, and its not always practical. I don't want them to think I don't like them anymore, but I can't tell them about AS. I don't know of a tactful way to get something together with a smaller group, in this situation, without offending someone, so I guess we're just going to have to say I'm busy or sick or whatever. At least my husband is OK with doing that, now that he knows why it's such a problem for me. I just wish there were a better way because lying sucks!