Which one's more likely my natural behaviour?

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Okay, so around my family, I stutter more, don't make eye contact as much, stare off into space more, don't move as much (or move oddly...), have less expressions.....Basically act a bit more aspie.
But around my friends, close ones, included, I seem to be a bit bubblier, and hide the odd movements more. I'm also more sociable, although it feels like acting.

Which is more reliably me? I do not like my family members as much (I enjoy my sister, the speech problems at a comfortable mental state are worst around her, oddly, but not very bad at all)....Is that what makes me more distant, real? Or am I just comfier around them?

I don't know, but I can relate...I am more flat around my parents and more silly around my close friends...am not sure why though...

hmm. I mean, I understand this is typical human behaviour, NT or AS....but which one's more...you. XD

I let my AS traits show more around my family too, because they're used to it and I feel I should be allowed to relax and stop trying at those times. I think it's interesting that you stutter more with family than friends, though - for me that probably stems from social phobia, which isn't much of a problem around family but is around everyone else.

Either way, the way I am around family is more Me, but not completely - there's still a lot of awkwardness there, and I definitely don't open up to them. Whoever you're with, I think there's a tendency to stay consistent with whatever their existing impression is of you, switching modes depending on the company. I think the only person I've been the closest to just being genuine and natural around was my wife, who somehow turned me into an almost-talkative person when no one else was around.

I don't suppress any AS traits around my family, but I do around friends.

i thought it was odd, too. i think it's because i usually pause until im sure my thoughts will come out pretty clearly in the company of non-fam, and im more likely to mask the stutter as "uh" or just be quiet.

that's cool, about your wife. why? was she just accepting? how log did it take for you to be that comfy in her presence? (since meeting her)

She was accepting, and a pretty unusual person herself. The fact that we first got to know each other for a couple of years online probably made the biggest difference, though. Although I don't believe you can properly know a person through purely online interaction, after getting together in person it was helpful to know she'd already seen some of what was under the surface while trying to get used to communicating in the real world. Either way, though, while I could open up while we were alone, I still tended to switch back to awkward/withdrawn-mode if even one stranger was involved in a conversation.

i bet the online contact had its benefits. because you guys could focus on knowing each other purely by words, and not be distracted by physical awkwardness or anything. it must be wonderful having someone you can trust like that.

They may seem like very contrasting ways of behaving, but I think they are probably both your natural behavior.

I hide my traits from everybody, and even found ways to do things without people noticing. But sometimes something will slip out.

I would say that they are both "equally you". Each is merely "you" in a different environment. The "truth" of who "you" are is not something rigid. Rather it is dynamical in nature and will appear different in different environments.

Or, are you deliberately acting around your friends?

I am very aspie around strangers, but with close friends and family I am in hyper mode, and very happy, but if I am around my older sister I get scared

I can relate to this. It stems from the fact that I cannot talk to my parents about things that make me excited. I can't goof off around them as much as I can with my friends, nor can I really talk to them about my special interests. It's kind of sad that I have some acquaintances who are in their 30s and I can talk with them for hours and enjoy it, but I can't even have a meaningful conversation with my parents. They are not knowledgeable in anything that I'm interested in. My dad can talk about physics a little bit, but he doesn't really enjoy talking about anything other than sound systems. I feel much closer with my dad, but my mom is the one who always talks to me, and yes, I feel very awkward around her because she always comments on my aspie mannerisms and/or asks me questions that make me feel uncomfortable.

Both of these behaviours are your natural behaviours. They are just different sides of your personality.

Fight or fligght, two opposte behaviors in one orginism, both are as muc as that organsims true behavior as the other...next question

i dont think too much. i mean, i think i subconciously watch my behaviour a bit more.