Mom of a fantastic kid who happens to have ASD

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Hello all, this is my first time on this website. I am hoping to find anything that can help my kiddo. I have an 8.5 year old son; he has mild/moderate ASD, a communication disorder (expressive language) and sensory issues. He's a great kid; he's receiving ST and has a structured TEACCH program at school in which he's doing very well. I have some questions for anyone, preferably somewith with Aspergers or Austim, so that I can try to relate to how he is feeling.

I have noticed lately that he is more aggitated; he has always been an anxious kid, we wanted to try meds for the first time, but decided that he was too upset with them. He was on Respirdal then Abilify, then we weaned him off completely. He seemed to be himself, much more relaxed and happy. Unfortunately, since his expressive language is limited, he doesn't tell me how he feels, I have to try to figure it out for myself. So these last two weeks or so, he has been looking away from me more, actually squiting his eyes and looking up instead of at my face (eye contact hasn't been an issue since age 4), he is also much more...antsy, or twitchy.

So my questions are..... how would you think he is feeling? any idea what could be causing this? could this be from an adolescent or hormonal change, or what should I be looking for? I just want to help figure out how he might be feeling or what is the cause of this type of behaviour so I can help him - if there is a problem I want to help solve it, if this is just a phase, then ok.... any thoughts??

I really appreciate any responses... very excited that I have found this website. I don't know any adults with autism or aspergers, so I am hoping to find anything that will help me relate to him.

Amanda

Welcome to WP!

Has anything in his environment changed lately? Or any changes in routine?

This may be a site filled with people on the spectrum, but the effects vary wildly from person to person. It's often impossible to know 'why' things are the way they are. Unless your son develops the ability to explain it to you, you might actually never know.

Especially with sensory issues --- it could be anything.

I am a very obsessive type of person, I am also a fixer, at least when it comes to my kids. So hard for me to hang back and just let things happen.... but sometimes that's what I have to do...

Is it fairly common even into adulthood to have this cycle - things are "normal" for him, then something triggers (like you mentioned either routine or sensory changes) therefore he will compensate with these behaviours, then eventually come back to his "normal"?

Thanks

Hmm,

Okay so you took him off his medication all together now right? Maybe it's due to the weening off of medication that could be causing this, though to be quite honest I am not all that sure because you didn't give us an insane amount of information (I may be missing the big picture here..) But, has there been a drastic change in his routine or anything else? It really could be anything, sometimes the littlest thing can set someone off and since he has sensory issues it could be part of that too.

I have very poor eye contact, in fact I rarely look people in the eye unless I'm insanely comfortable and feel safe with said person. I generally look at someone's forehead or their nose, but not directly in the eye.

But yes, it is very common for me at least to have my good days and have my bad days, where I regress a bit. It's nothing to be too concerned about, just let it play out. And see where it goes

Someone posted on the Parents' discussion very recently that a lot of ASD children find all the transitions and changes from Thanksgiving through to New Year very difficult. It might be that which is causing the changes.

Children?! Here's one autistic adult who's not happy about the holiday upheaval, either.

Eye-contact takes a lot of processing space in your brain, which is why many of us avoid it. Looking past peoples' heads is easier for me. Maybe your boy is trying to save on processing space? Autistic folks generally need more mental effort to do many things that are easy for typical people (and less effort to do some things that are tough for typicals--a consequence of specialized brains). What exactly is difficult and what is easy generally depends on the person, but speech and face-reading are some of them; also sensory processing and executive function. I'd be guessing that there's something that's been forcing your boy to think harder than he usually does, and he's dumping some of the extra tasks to make room for it; that's what it would be if it were me. Stuff like that can build up for months; for a while you tap into your emergency reserves, and it's OK; but you get more and more tired and eventually you just have to shut down some things. Worst case, you drop important things like communication and self-care... part of learning to live as an autistic person in a non-autistic world is learning how to target your effort so it'll do the most good, and learning not to demand more of yourself than you're capable of sustaining effort for.

woops.... nope I am most definitely female!! Just changed it... thanks!

Don't worry about the eye contact, except for as you said that it's noting a change of behaviour. If his eye contact is usually ok, then it's probably something bothering him that's making him more "autistic". Some people just have poor eye contact no matter how they're feeling, but you noted a change....

School can create about a billion causes of stress, so looking here would be good. A hectic home environment, more so as it's the holidays, can create routine disruption and added sensory stimuli that's he's not accustomed to; not saying that it's hectic, but even the smallest of change that wouldn't even register to a person without an ASD can be like the end of the world for someone with one (especially of moderate severity or worst).

Can he write? I know you said his expressive speech is poor, but if he can write, you could ask him to write you a note about the things that are bothering him.

welcome

Hello, and welcome to the forums

You may want to visit the parent's forum, as they would probably also have some useful advice for you. Feel free to read the other posts on the forum, and you may find some useful advice. It is the 8th forum on the list, or you could simply click this link:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum19.html

As for what is going wrong, I am afraid I dont know. But I dont think you need to be terribly concerned. Things like not making eye contact, speaking in a monotone voice, or stimming may seem unusual, but they aren't harmful. It isnt as though your child is about to explode if he doesn't make eye contact with you. As other people have said, your child may be having problems at school, or he may simply be upset with the whole holiday change in routine, but acting a bit jumpy and squinting aren't exactly huge problems that need immediate and radical action.

Also, if for some reason you feel the need to use medication, you may want to try something else, such as anti-anxiety medication. Anti-psychotic depressants such as Respirdal and Abilify tend to simply mask the symptoms by putting the child into a haze (similar effect to benedryl but more potent). It tends to make the children more compliant and sheepish, but it doesn't actually fix any problems related to being anxious.

Thank you for all the thoughts, sometimes it just helps for me to hear/read that I shouldn't worry too much. I am sure that doesn't help either, he seems to always react to my stress too.

Some possible ideas:
- He hates Xmas and is upset about the idea to see relatives or simply he feel everybody happy about it but he is different -> anxiety increase.
- Bullies started at school but he doesn't want to tell you or maybe any of the teachers told him something unpleasant.
- He simply need a little rest.