People off the spectrum, would you want to have Asperger's?

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Have you ever wondered what's like to have it?


Yeah two different questions because I couldn't fit this one in the title so I had to shorten it and then post the real question.

Hi-

I am the NT parent of a 4 year old who has it, and my husband has a lot of the tendencies. Since I have been dealing with this with my son, I have been reading extensively about the topic so that I can understand my son better. Even though I find the topic of Asperger's fascinating, and I think those with AS are very interesting and unique people, I don't think that I would want to have it.

I had my son at 40 years old and he is an only child. He is making good progress, but I fear for his future if he cannot learn social and self help skills. I hope that I live a long life so that I can be there for my son if he can't make it on his own.

I have great respect for all of the posters on WP who have shared their stories, and are doing their best to cope.

I have wondered but to be perfectly honest, I definately wouldn't want it. The pain level that I see on WrongPlanet is sky high. There are posts about childhoods filled with pain from bullying that I only experienced for one year (and that was a boy who turned out to have a crush on me)- bullying that started in kindergarten and continued all through school. I wouldn't want any part of such a painful childhood. There are posts about jobs lost, friendships lost, years of lonelines, decades of confusion (in those who didn't get diagnosed until middle age). I wouldn't want any part of that adulthood.

It's not all so grim. There are a lot of posts about passionate happiness with special interests, freinds, family, happy times alone in nature or at home. There are posts about enjoying a unique world view and the thrill of highly developed particular skills. Those make it look good. But those posts are outnumbered by the posts about levels of pain that I can't even imagine. I'm not saying this to convey pity or pathos. But you asked. I would not want to trade my happy childhood or adulthood for the levels of pain that I read about described here.

Hmmm... basically the doctors say I'm not on the spectrum, but I have lots in common with them.

Actually I would trade my mood disorder for AS. It's hard to live a life where you have no control of your emotions hardly at all.

This is an interesting question. I don't really know, but probably not. It would depend on what symptoms I had, what combinations of them I had, how severe they are and what kind of support I would have in the NT world. If the world were a more tolerant place I may have a more definitive answer.

I would HATE to have sensory issues. I had an oversensitive sense of smell when I was pregnant and I learned that the world stinks! There are so many smells out there that are nasty that I don't even notice. I couldn't imagine living with any oversensitivity to anything. That would really suck. I think the social issues would be hard too, but I had the same type of issues as a child as an NT. I was very backward and insecure and an easy bully target. It was hard enough without the difficulties of AS. If I were a person with AS that really, truely liked to be alone, that would be OK, if I had the intellegence and support to build a career from my obsession. I would have to be able to do something for a career and live independently. If I couldn't do that, I wouldn't want AS.

I really don't know. I do know that my son has difficulties, but he is a happier child than I ever was, but that is largely due to the support he is given from those who love him and work with him. My son is the most interesting person I have ever met, and is unlike anyone I know. Being a lover of the unique and things off to the side a little, he's perfect. Who wouldn't want to be that?

No, I wouldn't. I see no benefit in it.

Some Aspies are strongly introverted. For example. *points to self* Not all, though.

Anyway, I don't see why an NT would want to be Aspie. That's not the way they were meant to be, any more than we were meant to be typical. People don't like their brains messed with, and shouldn't have to worry about that ever happening. That's probably why strokes and other kinds of brain damage are so scary to people; it's one thing to lose a limb, and quite another to have your brain changed from what it's been your whole life. Turning an NT into an Aspie is just as bad as turning an Aspie into a NT.

I'm betting a lot of parents would like to try it out for a day or a month, though, to know what life is like for their kids. I'd like to try out being an NT for a while, so maybe I could understand them better; but I sure wouldn't want to stay one. I like the way I am.

I love being alone, I don't mind it. Sometimes I wish I could have someone with me to do things (that's what husbands are for) with but overall I love being alone. I think this comes from when i was in 6th grade when I learned to be alone because I was out of school for a while and all the kids were in school so therefore I had no one to play with. Plus kids were boring in my teen years.

But then as a child under 12 years, I hated being alone so I always got excited when a kid come over to play.


But there are also aspies who don't want to be alone and they want friends but they just don't know how to make any and when they do try, they get pushed away. I used to get "Don't follow me" on playgrounds. Well couple of them decided to befriend me and I found out in my later years how kids didn't like me following them which were my own friends.
So friends aren't supposed to follow each other?
Even a girl told me when I was 14 she didn't like me follwing her.
I've always done better when kids came to me than me going to them.

I'm not a NT. But I'm pretty sure 99.99% of them said no.
Of course from their pov it seems like a burden, in terms of their difficulty in social interaction and interpersonal relationships. Of course everyone is different.
But lemme just say.
Yes aspergers can come with many burdens, not only difficulty in the things I just mentioned but also bullying, other stuff, always being alone, etc. But it's like watching a slow paced but really good movie. There are parts where maybe absolutely nothing happens, and it's boring, but when something does happen, it often either excites you or catches your attention again.
As with these "burdens," yes having aspergers can be a pain, but there are sooo many advantages that totally make up for it.
Look at Einstein, Mozart, Jefferson, Michelangelo. Yeah not all aspies are like them but they are aspies, and AS can really let u think in ways NTs can sometimes never think.
Sorry if that sounded a bit arrogant, but it's based on my experiences.

Ah, I think I may have jumped to a conclusion here. I assumed that MommyJones was thinking of the NT idea that ALL Aspies want to be alone and that's why they are. Yes, I know some do and some don't.