A Weird Feeling?

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I've recently come to consider myself as having asperger's, and am seeking an official diagnosis to help out with some work issues.

And it really does make sense, so I have no problem saying "yea, I have asperger's syndrome" to myself. It explains a lot of my childhood and the difficulties I'm having now...

and I'm not prejudiced, I don't look down at autism...but somehow the fact that "asperger's is on the autism spectrum. meaning that if I have asperger's I'm also autistic" is just... a little hard to swallow.

I know that sounds ludicrous... but it's true. I can "see" how asperger's has affected me life... but I can't see myself as autistic ((nevermind the fact that I caught myself spinning in my office chair before a meeting at work this week))

Am I weird for that? Did anyone else have easy acceptance of one and hesitant about the other?

Yeah, I could see that. It may have to do with social cultural programming. Autism used to have a terrible stigma. Though, when I am at the place I work and interact with an autistic person, I feel I have more in common with that person than I do with the rest of the population, if that makes sense. Even though I'm really "high functioning." It all comes down to the way we're wired, I think.

Maybe it would help to meet people with an autism diagnosis. It was a good experience for me. I say autism more than aspergers now and do it without shame. As a musician who makes good use of our hypersensitive ears every day, I have no problem sharing a lable with a savant I knew for a while. KJ did things that were so amazing on the piano that my heart stopped for a few seconds the first time I heard it. As far as anyone knew, it was the first time he had touched a musical instrument in his life. He was apparently born a jazz pianist. It made me want to lay down my horn at his feet because I know not even a lifetime of practice could make me as good as he was as soon as his fingers hit the keys.

Well at least I don't feel like I'm totally weird for having these feelings then. thanks!

And as for getting to know others with autism, a friend of mine wants me to do a walk sometime later this year. I think I'll do that...