Have you ever snapped out of it and gone through NT phase?

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I am thinking back to my teenaged years.
My childhood was sorta like a dark tunnel that I slowly emerged from as I hit puberty.
I went through a phase during puberty where I was somewhat gregarious and outgoing..and downright hyperactive...I was always odd and a non-conformist..but I did have something of a social group...and things that normal teenagers had.

I got over it eventually...but I wonder if the fact that I went through that phase is a sign that I am not as affected by the spectrum as I have led myself to believe.

That is your perception, though. Perhaps others saw things you didn't see.

When I think back to my teen years, I do not realize how much I was affected. Yes, I had trouble, but it doesn't seem like much. Then after the interviews with my friends and family, I realized a lot of allowances were made for me. I also never realized I always had more stiff expressions and a slightly odd gait. I watched videos of Aspies on youtube, and thought, "I'm not like that". The answer from those who've known me my whole life was, "Yes you are!". lol

I think we can trick ourselves in either direction.

I have to say, your name, while I get it, disturbs me on some level. lol I think of what it literally means, and that leads to lungs and bacteria.. I hate my brain lol If I keep my mind from going there, I do like it. I just had to mention that!

No, not ever. There was a period of time when my thoughts seemed more fluid and I was able to comprehend things better and I could speak more smoothly, of course that was also when I was rambling on rather philosophically about whatever, but I've never had a period where I ever felt anything close to normal. I wish very much though that I did. I would much rather be the average person who knows how to socialize and communicate effectively enough. I feel very tired of being stuck in this box and I understand it when people finally blow a fuse.

Yeah..it disturbs a lot of people...according to reviews of myself I have read...
It means something different to me than the way it gets interpreted...
it is supposed to be a play on pippi longstocking for one thing.....and poopy is not necc. supposed to refer to actual poop....and even if it did...it would not be intended to be anywhere near the lungs

I didn't have any lables when I was young...except maybe for the stuff that people called me at school.
I did try to seek out a level of self acceptance that could in turn, be accepted by others.
I was very clueless and blind in a lot of ways, but I at least tried...

I guess instead of NT phase, I coulda said relative NT phase...

I didn't have any labels either as a child. I've only been diagnosed less than two years but finally figured it out about ten years ago. It took forever for me to assimilate that and all its ramifications. Abuse is horrible I know as I've had my fair share of it. I hope you can find peace within yourself about being on the spectrum. There are too many challenges in life as it is and we at least need to feel comfortable and settled within ourselves about who we are aside from whatever labels there may be. It doesn't matter so much. Just celebrate who you are because you are magnificent!!

I think what you're describing was probably relative to being a teenager. Durring teen years alot of people don't view differant as dangerous anymore. Everyone starts looking for their own identity and individuality. The "weird" people tend to group togeather anyways. It doesn't seem all that unreasonable that you had a good group of friends and experianced social situations in a more outwardly NT centric way.

I think teen years are one of the few times in our lives where we have a social liberty to be odd or differant and unique without it always being viewed as a bad thing by our peers.

And I think most people, even NT's, find teenage years to be akward with the whole puberty and transition to adulthood thing... so if you were already used to be differant or odd than that may have put you ahead of the curve.

No. I went through a phase of *trying* to be a "normal" teenager when i was about 13, but that didn't change my social deficits or obsessiveness. Trying to be a regular teenage girl was pretty much my obsession.. I read teen magazines obsessively, and went out and i dressed myself in trendy clothing. I still didn't have friends to hang out with in the same way everyone else did. This was shortly after i first started on Paxil, which actually helped my anxiety a lot, so i really did try to be more outgoing... but that didn't change the fact that i didn't know what to do. When i went to one of the school dances.. well, that wasn't very much fun. I ended up sitting my myself the whole time, and even kids who were in a couple grades behind me were coming up and asking why i wasn't talking to anyone. Plus, in the main room it was very loud and i could barely hear anything anyone was saying anyway. So, yeah.. Same old pattern of aspie behavior wrapped in "normal" clothes.

I don't know why people seem to be so attached to the disorder in the first place. I would give anything to be able to step out of that box called autism and enjoy a normal life, anything close to it. I appear to be high functioning to look at me, I guess because I know how to dress myself appropriately and groom and fix my hair so I look very average or above average, but I am not high functioning in the slightest. Can we maybe stop comparing ourselves to each other? Why do people go around trying to see if others fit the mold exactly the way they do? It gets kind of bizarre after a while.

Boy, ain't it the truth! I still get a snicker out of the newly diagnosed and their insistence that their case of AS is only a mild one. Yeah, heh-heh, that's what I said - at first. A lot of us start out with that little delusion...

Then gradually, as you learn more and more about the disorder and just what some of those clinically-phrased descriptions in the DSM actually mean in real life situations...and you notice that most of the people who've known you all your life, whom you're initially afraid are going to say things like "Oh, you can't possibly have Autism, you're as normal as the day is long", don't say that at all - in fact, they seem somewhat bemused by the fact that you didn't realize there was something wrong with you a long time ago...

Of course, you did realize there was something wrong - at least something drastically different - about you a long time ago, but you'd never have imagined it was anything so drastic as a brain that was a few Legos shy of a starter set.

That's when it starts to sink in - you've been a lot less smoothly functional all along than you ever realized. All those years you thought you were just a little different, everyone around you was just making concessions, trying not to be rude and call attention to just how weird you appear to the world at large. Everyone but you knew you were a brain damaged weirdo, but since you weren't damaged enough to require institutionalization, nobody wanted to say anything, but nobody ever knew quite how to handle you.

Meantime, they've all had their discussions behind your back and just agreed to ignore it and make the best of a sad and seemingly hopeless situation. Until the diagnosis, all they could do was shrug and say "I dunno...but something's just not right..."

And really...you thought you'd figured out how to fit in pretty well over the years...so well in fact, that they couldn't tell you apart from one of their own.

Surprise.

Last edited by Willard on 31 Dec 2009, 6:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

chuckle chuckle. two years into the process of a late dx, I am now finding out how weird i have always appeared to others!
It has been fascinating talking to two of my siblings about how I have always come across. and i assumed I had hidden it so well and so effectively..........

went through this phase before... lets just say it can be interesting...

Yeah Willard, as much as I knew that I was "different", I was still the last one to really know.

That made me giggle. That is so incredibly accurate. lol

maybe it should be called the naive phase, i also thought i did pretty well when i was around age 13 or so.

fact is i was funny i could have good talks with a decent amount of people i even liked parties but that was after spending 3 years in the same class. then moving to a new class i kept it up for a couple weeks it went good some ppl seemed to like me even girls and then one day i could hardly talk to any1 but the people i had known for years. it all went downhill more and more each year with classes full of new people.

you think you fit in decently but i turned into a spectator maybe a group pet of some sorts they always let me listen to their conversations and walk with them, but i learned not to try and join in on topics after the weird looks and silences i never stopped causing.

it really sucks when you find out how different peoples view is from the way you view yourself.