Anyone ever thought they didn't have AS anymore?

Post Reply New Topic

Have you ever thought you didn't have AS anymore because you had gotten so better, you thought you were no longer impaired? Then you would realize you still have it?


Anyone else still feel they don't have it and then realize you still do because you have to get reminded you still do?


Lot of times I feel normal and then I am reminded I still have it.

I'm done thinking I don't have it anymore because I have fallen for that a few times already.

In a sense. Especially when I am at home - But then I get out in the world and remember how different I am.

I misread the topic on read one and saw "Anyone ever thought IF they didn't have AS anymore" to which my response would have been; yes, but I am glad I do.

To the topic as it's meant though:

Strangely yes. I mean its always in the back of my head that I know, but there have been times when I don't even think about it at all.

I temporarily forget that i have it when i'm with people that i know well... but, on topic, no. I've never thought my AS has ceased to exist despite sometimes wishing it did

I used to be bad and not able to socialize outside of my signifigant other. Now I've improved in many areas and am normal in certain respects, but I doubt I will ever stop stimming. I could very well also have ADD. I can hyper-focus at times, but sometimes have trouble concentrating on even my special interests.

I will often forget that I have AS, then something would happen that causes stress or embarrassment so then I'm reminded that I do have it.

Before I heard of AS I went through a phase when I thought I'd made a lot of headway socially, and instead of seeing myself as an introverted jerk, I started to think I was quite a skilled socialite. But it was just the right mix of people sharing the same special interests for a year or two.....a number of factors just happened to dovetail together to radically ease my symptoms. I'm sure that if I'd been diagnosed before that time, I'd have thought that I'd cured myself. Sadly I found that I couldn't transfer my social skills into the mainstream world - I actually went alone to a big party where I didn't know anybody present, expecting to do really well, and was shocked to find that I completely screwed up.

Since the DX, I've had the occasional notion that I'm nothing like as Aspie as I've been cracked up to be. It's easy to think that because the DX is so subjective.....perhaps the diagnostician was so into AS that she tended to overdiagnose, and the questionnaires didn't give me the option of voicing the many caveats I wanted to add. There's also the fact that an Aspie can often behave like a neurotypical for a little while. Bottom line is, if I say I'm not an Aspie then nobody can prove me wrong.

What really intrigues me is that if I happen to trust a person (or a group) very strongly, then a lot of my symptoms seem to vanish. That was very true of my early experiences with that right mix of people - I've often thought since then, they were only people, yet my faith in them at the time was colossal....I was completely convinced that I was among caring friends, and so I felt quite uninhibited sharing my dreams and my warmth with them. They were probably more kind and caring than the average Joe, and I guess I could have been in terrible trouble if they'd turned out to be malicious types, but it seems that I made my liking and trust for them so clear that they in turn took a strong liking to me. If you give love, you tend to receive love, and if people love you enough then it'll take more than a few weird Aspie blunders to make them nose you out of the social circle. Really, under those circumstances, your AS isn't an impairment.

Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore. I feel pretty "normal" from day-to-day, even if my interests are highly specialized compared to most people's. I interact with co-workers and strangers on a daily basis well enough.

Then again, I can be in a group conversation with a few people and it's a bit more obvious. I will say something that I think is relevant to the conversation, and the other people sort of look at me, give me a little fake smile, and continue as if I didn't say anything. It's then when I know I've said something that was a bit off. Fortunately, it doesn't ever seem to be held against me.