So... What do you think? am i or ain't i?

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yes or no ..? Do you think i have it?

I know you guys and gals here can't "Diagnose" me . But your opinions are greatly appreciated.

My symptoms are a bit mixed due to diagnosed depression. So some things might fit and some do. My depresion symptoms i think cloud my other symptoms.

Pros
1. Hate crowds

2. Can't seem to get along with people

3. Sarcasim confuses the hell out of me but there are times i try to use it myself.

4. being with people in a group setting drains me quickly.

5. things not making sense drive me batty to the point i want to scream

6. i was constantly told growing up that i would blurt out inappropriate things.

7. i do not do well with change.. Not well at all

8. i tend to be quite obsessive over certain things.. Examples.. When i start reading i book i usualy won't put it down until its done reading. (i can finish a 800 page novel in one day) also if there is something wrong with my computer i simply can not sleep until i have it fixed..

9. I tend to think i recognize peoples faces.. Maybe its just a habbit i have developed to meet new people but i stop people and ask them if i know them saying i have a photographic memory. I frankly don't know what the truth is anymore. I think there are times i am so lonely i take any excuse to have contact with someone.

10. if there is any noise louder then the person talking i can't understand what they are saying. Its almost like any sound louder then what i am paying attention to drowns out the person speaking. (auditory processing is getting mixed up somehow) Being able to see the person talk helps quite a lot. (when i don't get distracted...)

11. easily distracted by idea's, thoughts,sounds,smells , things going on around me when in a conversation.

12. If a boss (when i worked) ever called me or told me he wanted to "Talk to me" on Monday and its Friday night it drives me nuts trying to figure out what i had done wrong etc.

13. have only had 2 Gf's in my entire life (i am 33), both of whom just stopped talking to me. (hey im a nice guy, maybe a little weird but damn i don't yell or scream or hit anyone)


Cons..


1. I can look people in the eye's quite easily .. My foster mother taught me at a early age to do this. (before i couldn't do it)
2. i am quite emotional .. (i think this has more to do with my depression)
3. terrible at remembering things.. (another thing that might be caused more by my depression)
4. Just do not understand some math things.. Fractions algebra etc.. I can do addition and multiplication quite fast in my head though.
5. I don't seem to have any problem starting a conversation with people. Starting is easy, keeping it going and being able to say the right things etc just isn't something i am able to do too well.
Example of starting a conversation = Hello how are you today.. etc
6. I played piano trumpet and tuba in school... But for the life of me even though i was in JR high and High school band i never really did learn music. (maybe i did and just forgot how) I don't remember much about my school years due to the constant harassment.
7. i am basically a slob.... yes it bothers the hell out of me but i just don't do anything about it. (been like this my entire life.) not sure how much i can blame on the depression considering. (though i do remember wanting to run away or "end it all" back when i was a kid) so not sure how much of this is depression etc.. Like i said the damn depression muddles things up quite a bit.
8. can not seem to be able to spell or use grammar correctly. (spell check is awesome)

ok this has drained me so that is all for now..
thank you for taking the time to read this and reply if you do

cheers

p.s
To be perfectly honest i don't know why i posted this, maybe a validation of what i think maybe just attention. I just wish... just wish things were different.