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Do people find you too distant (read options carefully)
Yes, but I don't care about them anyway. 31%  31%  [ 16 ]
Yes, even though I try to be open 39%  39%  [ 20 ]
Sometimes, it depends. 22%  22%  [ 11 ]
Nope, I'm an open book. 8%  8%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 51

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16 Jan 2010, 2:31 am

No matter where I go, one complaint that I often here is that I seem distant and closed. People may like me, and we may have a good time, but they don't feel as though they know me. Part of this may in fact be because I'm somewhat of a private person and I like to keep things to myself unless someone needs to know. But I've found, that even when I try to open up, it doesn't quite work. I wonder if aspergers could be part of this.

If you have experienced this, please comment. What, if anything did you do to overcome your lack of openness and to what extent did it work?

Also, please take the survey.



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16 Jan 2010, 2:47 am

Hell, sometimes I think even I don't know the real me! I do not open up or discuss how I feel with anyone. I am locked into a sort of "self-preservation" mode. I know my thoughts and feelings aren't typical so I just shut everything down, nothing comes to the surface. This, no doubt, prevents me from every really developing close relationships.


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16 Jan 2010, 5:23 am

I've been finding it easy to be open to people, lately. I certainly know who I am. I know my personality and what I like. My mum feels a little threatened about that, so she's in denial about that. She feels threatened that a person on the spectrum can have their own opinions. I know who I am and what I like. I also know how I feel on the inside, which is English.


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16 Jan 2010, 10:44 am

It depends on the topic of conversation. I will tell people what I have been doing if they ask me, but I like to keep my feelings to myself. If I feel a bit down, I don't want people to pity me.


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16 Jan 2010, 2:14 pm

NB: When I said being open, I was talking less about being opinionated and sharing those opinions and more about giving people a glimpse into your life, your interests, where you have been lately or plan on doing later (your daily activities), your family, your life's history, the experiences that you've had (good and bad) to make you who your are today.



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16 Jan 2010, 7:58 pm

Also, please continue to cast your vote in the poll and to comment if you have helpful advise on how to become more open or ancedotes about your attempts to become a more open person.



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16 Jan 2010, 9:36 pm

I can open up to my close friends, but that could be because we usually have quite a lot of alcohol around us at the time. Even so, when sober I can open up to my closest friend.
I'm not very good at dating because I don't open up, and when I start to get to know someone I hold a lot back.


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16 Jan 2010, 9:43 pm

To be distant is essential for me to be able to cope with communication with others at all.... so I ticked the first option.... 8O


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17 Jan 2010, 4:05 am

I also ticked the first option, because people are always saying that I need to talk more, be more involved etc.

It never happens.



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17 Jan 2010, 11:15 am

I'm very open with others, here at WP. On the other hand, I might not be so open with some people in real life.

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17 Jan 2010, 12:11 pm

I try to include personal experiences when I'm in a conversation, even so I've been told numerous times that I appear distant. One person told me, after I questione dher about this, that it's because I only share facts, never emotions. I never say how I felt in a certain situation or even how I feel about it afterwards.

I'm doubtfull that'll ever change, but I've started to "fake" it lately, as I have an evaluation coming up at work.



17 Jan 2010, 1:39 pm

I'm very open. I don't know what things to keep to myself. Only things I keep to myself in the real world are, my fetish, and AS.

My husband however is very private and he says I am putting our life story online for the whole world to see. I honestly don't know what his problem is. It's not like I am posting our bank account, card information, home address, phone number, and his whole name.



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17 Jan 2010, 11:09 pm

People often accuse me of giving too much information but then at the same time, say that I'm distant or boring. I picked "sometimes, it depends". I never knew that a person could be both at the same time.


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17 Jan 2010, 11:13 pm

Avarice wrote:
I also ticked the first option, because people are always saying that I need to talk more, be more involved etc.

It never happens.


This.


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18 Jan 2010, 10:44 am

when I first meet people, I'm reserved and closed. When I get to know them I'm completely opposite and give people too much information.



18 Jan 2010, 1:42 pm

My ex was very private and didn't want people knowing about his life. My mom said people like that are hiding something and they have done something wrong. So careful everyone.