Developing a Thicker Skin

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I seem to be overly-sensitive to criticism and others' comments. And I definitely know this has an effect of being wounded by what others think which in turn will get in the way of doing what I want in life. So are there any tips on this?

Think how are those how criticise you! How they are better than you? And why you should care at all?

Often, they hit good points, but I wish I could just have them bounce off of me instead of sticking.

Why should bounce them off? If they make a good point, be happy to correct an error. If they talk rubbish, so ignore then.

You are the master between your ears - no one else. You just need to exercise this lordship.

How?

I understand how much other people's comments can hurt. It's all very well to ask why should you care, but the reality is usually very different. I react badly to criticism due to my insecurity, and this in itself goes back to a difficult childhood and a bad time at school where I was bullied. I've grown up thinking I'm not worth the same as other people, and so any criticism just reinforces that opinion of myself.

Maybe you could try and see where this sensitivity springs from and work with it. Is it due to feeling you're a fake or that you're not up to other people's standards? It usually becomes easier to work with your sensitivity to criticism when you establish the course of it.

Deinonychus,

Do you perhaps need to be liked?
If so - what is that about then?

"First Know Thyself."
- Socrates


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I think you have the same problem I do--beating yourself up. A person criticizes you and then you replay the criticism over and over while suffering. That is beating yourself up.

If you can be aware of when you're doing it, that's the first step. Then, you can choose a positive thought instead to break the cycle.

It's what I've been doing that works.

i wouldnt think so. like those comercials say its better in california, so its better to have thick skin. that way you can deal with the flaming arrows of the evil one

Thanks. Now I wish I could accomplish it.

Fixed.

Don't assume most Aspies are like you. The tips may be backwards some Aspies are reversed in their empathy.

reference: http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic ... f_empathy_

“You can have so much empathy that it’s painful for you, so you have to disengage,” Pavlova says. “Sometimes autistic people are not insensitive; they’re too sensitive.”

i tend to beat myself up as well.

it is hard to disregard the negative things that people say. replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones is a good idea.
If the criticism is constructive, use it to make yourself better.

I read the title literally, and thought WTF.

Oh, no! Not again!

I used to be so wounded by what others said and people would tell me "I don't care what others think about me. Who cares what they think?" and I would wonder do they really not care or are they just pretending not to so they will neutralize the power others have over them? I think I said the same thing sometimes "Who cares what they think anyway?" and then obsessed over it for a few weeks, worrying constantly, wondering what I could do to change any of it, which usually seemed like not much. In the end it was me who ended up feeling neutralized and weak, like I had no control over my life. It is better if you can keep yourself from obsessing on what other's think.
Now I care at times, but these days my stresses have been reduced by 99.09% and I feel so much better. Is there a particular person or people who stress you out more?
Neighbors were the ones who were stressing me out and when they moved my stress moved with them and I am better able to cope than I ever have been before. I've also never experienced the same kind of difficulties I have with others that I did with them.
Life is much easier for me now. Sometimes seperation and moving on are all you can do. I don't know if I could call myself sensitive or what, because, for the most part, I am not that close to people emotionally but most don't bother me that much in my day to day life and I don't find myself obsessing and worrying much nowadays. Objectively, I am better off psychologically than I have ever been in my life and it is a major relief.
People who harshly criticise usually do more harm than good. If you realize you are being criticised it means the person doing it isn't going about it the right way for you. They should criticise you without you realizing it. Mostly they do this by taking away negativities and putting a positive spin on advice they give.