Maturity.

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So I saw this thread: viewtopic.php?t=383851&start=15, and it got me thinking. Why might an autistic person feel emotionally younger than their physical age? I've seen this point being made repeatedly on this forum during my time here, and I'm curious.

To anyone who perceives themselves as emotionally younger, why is this? What events made you come to this conclusion?

Perhaps it is a silly thing to question. I understand that it is likely due to social reasons, but the possible reasoning behind such statements evades me. Suppose it depends on the individual.

Now, personally I view myself as someone who can be socially skilled, but I can also be oblivious at times. It heavily depends on the situation. For instance, I once successfully deceived someone who was treating a friend of mine poorly. The person in question was overly possessive of my friend, and began to take control of her life.

My friend wanted me to be there for her, since she knew that the manipulator would not try anything with another party as a witness. In order to be allowed to communicate with her, I had to convince this guy that I was not a threat. Confronting his possessive behaviour head on would have likely made him enforce even more control over her. So I chose a sneakier approach. I played upon his expectations; I knew his type. The cruel manipulative sort who believes that his actions are merely misunderstood and actually out of concern.

I knew that if I challenged his beliefs he would view this as a personal attack, and potentially take this out on my friend. So, instead I pretended to befriend him. I kept in mind his self-appointed view of himself being misunderstood, being aware that if I too readily agreed it would look suspicious. He would catch on to what I was doing. I pretended to consider what he was saying, and acted like I'd never thought of it that way before but was slowly being swayed by his argument. However, in reality I could tell that he was really condoning horrible behaviour and attempting to spin it into a narrative which made him seem thoughtful and charming.

My act was successful, and I was able to spend time with my friend as a result. Secretly offering my support. With help from her friends, she was able to get out of this situation. She was grateful that I stood by her and acted for her sake.

Taking all this into consideration, you might think that I am rather skilled in social situations. Well, you're only partly right. I can be overly literal, and miss sarcasm. Or use the wrong tone of voice. Heck I've even shown up to social events misunderstanding that someone was only joking about going.

Growing up, I used to be told that I was mature for my age a lot. Not always, but fairly consistently. It wasn't until I reached nineteen that people started to tell me that I was just like them at the same age, rather than being told that I was wise beyond my years.

Despite having moments which could be considered immature, I have rarely been referred to as such. I am not bragging when I say this, in fact I think that my maturity is sometimes overestimated. Personally, I think that I am naive in the sense that I don't always realise when my queries might be perceived as an attack, as I can be somewhat detached. Not realising that people might think I have ulterior motives.

I know that during past occasions I have been accused of overthinking and not allowing myself to merely feel without analysing. Someone tried to make this clear to me by using poetry once, and I think I missed the point of the exercise. I replied by speculating on the poetry, analysing what it could mean. They told me that I was supposed to simply feel how it made me feel emotionally, not dissect it. I was tempted to ask them how, then I realised that they might have a point.

The AS in my life's maturity was running close to 10 years behind their age and once they hit mid 30s there was a significant improvement in their behavior and ideas.

Everyone, neurotypical and autistic, either feels younger, the same, or older

A disproportionate number of autistics don't have jobs or drive cars or romantic relationship

Thus feel younger

Must say here where I am living 2 doors over on either side , 2 separate but teenage friends. now late 50s had no appreciation of stuff , so got drunk alot. one went to prison got out came back to sponge off very old adoptive parents.
Still criminal stalks me. And his friend on the other side participates cause they were friends never had a job nor wished one..neither disabled both just living off older parents .and like to watch myself and watch any actions they can,see me do then appear by their interplay that they communicate with each other and this is their easy fun stuff , terrorixing someone whom us physically disabled and cannot fight back and alone. Easy target for them. and they have no other life . No job , just get a ride to liquor store and do it all over again..
Their parents say nothing., but one says boys will be boys.. at 50 plus years old . Most people around them moved away if they could , others cannot but are male or much older less able to care for their yard. So point us some NT Peeps are not mature either or just outright evil .. imho

My physical age is 45 but I'll always have the mindset of a 21 year old Mod. In England, in the 60s there were Mods and Rockers.

May be that the people with AS just have a better long term memory. For this their way of thinking and their behaviour may change a bit slower than the one of average people.
Most people on street hardly guess me my age just because of this.

Intelligence is not valued by NTs. NTS are often far less intelligent than us Aspies but they are more mature. Maturity refers to communication skills and reading emotion and expressing feelings. As Aspies we are never going to have communication skills, read emotions or express feelings like NTs.

When I was diagnosed I was told that my emotional intelligence was significantly younger than my age, despite being mature in many other aspects. I am still referred to as mature because compared to my teenage peers, I am very responsible and make logical decisions when it comes to the important things. Some would think I'm quite boring (until a convo haha) because I don't like parties, go drinking etc.

However while I am mature in those aspects and even my peers see me as being so in them, I am also very childish in other aspects. How I deal with social things is very immature and I am often babied and told how I am is childish in those aspects. All my emotions are very easily read and how I express them is weird and childish.

It's kinda confusing cus it will be the same people calling me childish in one aspect who call me mature in the other.

When I was a kid I felt that way because I had a harder time learning to do many of the things that other kids my age were doing easily. In my early teens I acted younger than my age because I was so constantly stressed out and overwhelmed by all the expectations, and wished I had it easier like a child does. Also had a lot of trouble with emotional regulation which got me considered immature.

do you ride a moped ...? Just curious... had heard that also was know virtue of mods....?