Any tips on fixing this behavior issue?

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zeldapsychology
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26 Jan 2010, 1:44 pm

I have an issue of getting obsessed about a person. I've seen other topics that "Oh I do that too." but I was thinking besides knowing "me too" I was wondering do you have any ideas how to fix this behavior issue? I question WHY I do it and came to an idea (not sure if it's right) but the Coworker and Psychology teacher were both one thing to me NICE (smiling at you/in a good mood/respected me etc.) I love my family don't get me wrong but these 2 people gave me something I was "missing" niceness effect someone IMO treating me nicely. who would you rather be around someone NICE to you or people you have some issues with (me/family argue at times other issues). And yet both times I got in trouble with the coworker and teacher so for my next life experience job/school etc. I don't want to make the same mistakes. Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this behavior issue? (It's great others do it too but I'm mainly trying to find ways to fix it) Thanks. :-)



Ladarzak
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26 Jan 2010, 3:18 pm

I've done it. Just remind yourself that you are misreading their signals, projecting based on your own needs, or however you interpret it -- I can't speak for you. That's what it was for me. In those cases where it gets worse and you can't stop thinking of them (been there) use "thought stopping" (can google that term) to get them out of your mind. Think of the thought pattern as a virus you can get rid of with other thought patterns. Worked for me. Although it sounds cut and dried now, it was very emotional and difficult at the time.

Good luck.



BlueMage
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26 Jan 2010, 5:24 pm

I've hardly ever managed to do it on purpose, but I think it would help to find something else to fill that niche in your mind. Find something else to obsess about. Try a new hobby, research an interesting topic. Socialize and meet more people I guess.

For me, getting really involved into daydreaming (about stuff that has little to do with reality) is the best. I noticed that when I started getting obsessed with people (middle school...), was exactly when I lost the ability to get absorbed in daydreams, but then when I find it again, it cures my obsessions with people. The daydreaming is far more pleasant...

I suppose AS minds always need something rich and heavy to chew on all day.