Going to sleep

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It's nearly 5am here...and I still don't see the point of going to sleep. I mean I've stayed up this late so I might as well carry on, right ?

Anybody else have problems with sleeping ?

The whole school thing is beginning to get to me though. I mean, I know I'm not stupid (which reminds me I must write to I'm Not Stupid - Sarcasm does not Compute blog (http://www.mikkyh.info/), but for some reason I feel unable to step a foot inside school. I can hardly go out in public either. I'm 15 and I think it's too late for me to start home education - and we can't afford that. Hopefully, though, my school may fund some home education because they're getting extra grants. Though I doubt it, they're probably rubbing their fingers together and drooling over the extra cash: they wouldn't help me!

I feel so betrayed by them. I was giving them all these A* and A grades yet because I'm near the end of my education they seem to not be bothered about me. Like, what's the point, it's too late ? Kind of thing.

I mean there's college but I haven't been able to prove myself at Secondary School because I didn't get to finish everything and all the tests - which I was in the middle of.

What does the future hold for me ? I don't want this life. Please. I DO want a cure for AS. Then a time machine to get my cured self some qualifications.



Sorry that went off topic. Sorry for whinging but I don't know who else to turn to. Not one person seems to have any answers. I'm trying to do something with my life, but so far my attempts have been futile.

I've felt progressively better about my school situation because I've slowly realized how little the system has to do with education or building applicable skills. In that regard I've felt more like AS has been an innate instinct to reject the veracity or legitimacy of institutions simply because they exist, to persistently question the world around me, and think critically based off my own experience and knowledge. You should look up John Taylor Gatto, the New York State substitute teacher of the year who got fired after he gave an acceptance speech which called for complete upheaval of the modern schooling system and made a strong criticism of the modern consensus mentality that schooling has anything to do with education. I know it does little to help your situation but I'd recommend this insight because I am still burdened by a similar position; however I don't deal with feelings of inadequacy because I no longer outsource my assessment of self-worth to self appointed "professionals".