Best way to handle meltdowns?

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I am a parent of 4 kids...2 w/AS. I'm preparing to give a presentation/training to Sunday school teachers at our church about how to best serve our kiddos on the spectrum. This question actually springs from another thread I started where someone brought up that it would be important to address how to handle meltdowns.

When our kids melt down we just leave them alone, because that is what seems to be best for them. It seems like they just need to "get it all out" and then they feel better. But it occurs to me that might not be the case for everyone...I've seen some parents say that hugging/holding their kids tightly helps calm them. (This would drive our kids crazy!)

So, what has helped calm you while in melt-down mode?

Please let me know if you require any translation. For understanding your child needs space when things get to be too much.

When I have meltdowns, I just want others to take a step back and just let me get it all out of my system.

I had a melt down at home earlier in the week.

My wife left me alone to get on with it which I am sure helped to get me back to planet earth more quickly!

Key: Leave me alone. If I were screaming and throwing things the worst you can do is intervene. Honestly just leave me alone and it goes away quickly, then I usually just want to lay down. So again: ignore, leave alone. And if it continues figure out the source, fix it.

Thanks for your replies. So, it seems like the general concensus is to leave the melting-down person alone...I am looking forward to seeing if ANYONE says that being held tightly would be a good idea. Whenever I have seen parents write about this it confuses me. Maybe their kids have different kinds of melt-downs...but when our kids melt down it's more like set them in their room, close the door and run! I don't mean to make light of it, but if I tried to hold them we would both end up injured. In fact I have ended up injured, mainly when it has happened in public and there isn't any other thing to do but pick them up and take them to the car.

Also, this might be a strange question, but can someone describe what an adult meltdown looks like? Mainly I think I want to hear that there isn't kicking, throwing things and hitting because if so I need to prepare a special room in my home before my kids reach adulthood. lol!

It seems that you're stuck in the stereotype that people with Asperger's Syndrome don't like to be touched. But there are people who like to be hugged tightly, but not softly. Because soft touch generates a higher response with nearly all humans than hard touch.

It's pretty much still the same thing: throwing things and yelling and whatnot. I think adults, generally, are better at dealing with things. So they probably won't happen as frequently when they are older, but a meltdown is a meltdown.

If a person set off my crying meltdown, by rasing their voice at me, in the first place, all that person would have to do is apologize to me, and that would put an end to the meltdown.

Nope I wasn't trying to steriotype anyone. I am answering a question based on my experience. That experience includes receiving spankings (some severe enough to be considered child abuse) for having meltdowns, then the person that spanked me, forcing me to hug them minutes after the spanking... when my meltdown was still going on and much worse than it was previously.

I think you may have assumed my intent. I don't know if all Autistic people respond the same way I do. The OP indicated that her children did (prefered being left alone to let the meltdown pass), so I gave her a thumbs up for understanding that and responding to their needs appropriately.

Have a nice day!

I guess there could be some autistic kids who like being hugged. It's just not the rule.

I bet the ones who like it are benefiting from the pressure to calm down... most of us can't do that with a person, though, since it's so overwhelming, and have to do things like squeezing under couch cushions or wrapping ourselves in blankets.

I need to be left alone to get one with it and then listen to music and sleep for an hour or two coz I feel exhausted afterwards.

It depends for me. An angry meltdown I usually want to implode in a corner but a sad one I don't mind resting my head on a shoulder.

Same here if I have a tantrum just run away.

I usually isolate myself so I won't be faced with the stuff that makes me have a meltdown or get overloaded. When I am out I try to plan things in such a way that limits as many of my triggers as possible like going to the store during the slow times. And when I need to be in a group of people I sit by the aisle or have some other space and an escape route.

When I do have a meltdown my prefered thing to do is go to my room and sleep. Those darn meltdowns take so much out of me, both mentally and physically. When I can't go to my room I hold things in as much as possible and become VERY irritable.

With the kiddos in Sunday school a possible idea is for the teachers and helpers to learn the early signs of a kid who is headed towards a meltdown and tone down the class and have a fairly quiet day instead of running around and singing songs with a lot of movement and shouting. I don't know how big your church is but maybe there could be a designated quiet room with a Bible Story video playing for kids (not just kids on the spectrum) who need to get away from all the noise.

I'm an adult, currently diagnosed Dyspraxic, getting a formal assessment for Aspergers in a week or two. When I meltdown from overstim (either sensory input or social overload) it tends to be closer to a panic attack. Curling up in a foetal ball, crying, crying out, shaking, hyperventilating, muscle spasms (when I was younger), etc. I tend to just want to curl up in a dark, quiet place on my own and be left alone. My partner's had some success in holding me tightly through it, and I find that quite comforting.

I second the thing that someone said about preferring hard sensation to soft. Tickling/stroking evokes much stronger reactions in me, usually negatively. The only 'soft' sensation I like is having my hair brushed. Anything else just tends to make me want to flinch away.