Does it take you time to know what you need to say?

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Does anyone here when your going to have to talk to someone you write what you need to say?

For me if I don't write what I need to say I loose what I want to say and than hours later after the conversation I remember all I want to say. Also, I need time to put all my thoughts together. I can't just say what I want to say my mind needs to go through everything and make sure it's what I want to say and it's all there.

Yes. In particular with the hardest qestion I have ever had to answer, if I wanted to asnwer it correctly: "How are you?". For some reason I can't possibly
asnwer this question truthfully. I usually simply say "Fine", but lately I have thought that maybe people want to know how I am feeling. But when I say I'm doing horribly, I have to explain why and I don't want to.

Yep, takes me about three weeks.......to answer anything that relates to feelings. And even then I am disappointed.

Mics

Umm...

10 minutes later...

Yea...oh wait.

20 minutes later...

Oh yes, it does take me awhile to work out what I should say.

Processing, processing, processing...

The Aspie processor chip functions more slowly than the NT processor. Its output is frequently more thorough, but it does not compute the same data at the same speed. When overwhelmed with sensory input and the pressure of expectation, it tends to stall and freeze.

I spent a career glibly talking every few minutes all day long, making jokes and prattling about current events and celebs in the media and it all sounded as though I were just making it up off the top of my head...but I had notes for everything on 3x5 cards and usually wrote jokes out word-for-word, then spent ten minutes before the next break rehearsing so I wouldn't screw up the punch line. Ad lib in front of an audience? Are you crazy?

My worst nightmare moments were when the boss would walk in with a stranger and say "Here, interview this person after this song." Ay, Caramba!" Deer in headlights! Mind...totally blank...thinking like...pushing mud through a funnel...erk!

And talk about feelings? Are you insane? You'll judge me!

Yeah, it takes me a long time to figure out what I want to say. I have trouble turning my thoughts into words. It's like my mind produces information in a proprietary language, which requires deep translation if I want to share it with others. (My translation is not good, either)

I can totally relate to this!! !

sometimes i think i speak with a "limp." it isn't always the case, but i often find myself with long pauses while trying to pull the words out of my brain. i know they're there---i just can't always seem to access them immediately.

This is me too. A lot of the time I know what I want to say but I don't know how to say it. My brain just doesn't want to turn my thoughts into spoken words at times and when asked a question I end up sitting there going..."Umm...". They think it's because I don't know what to say but I DO, I just can't seem to express it orally.

[quote="Willard"]Processing, processing, processing...

The Aspie processor chip functions more slowly than the NT processor. Its output is frequently more thorough, but it does not compute the same data at the same speed. When overwhelmed with sensory input and the pressure of expectation, it tends to stall and freeze.



This happens to me soooooo often...... Sometimes I think of a reply days later.

I know this feeling intimately. I was trying to explain something to my daughter today -- she's designing the centerpieces for her wedding reception tables and I was trying to explain to her that the bowls she wanted to use were going to have to be larger than she was anticipating because the arrangements she's planning are going to need a fair amount of florists' foam to stabilize and there will still need to be room for water to sustain the flowers... I just couldn't seem to get the idea out of my head in a way she could understand. I knew what I was trying to say, I just couldn't get it out of my mouth sensibly. Typing it here, of course, it comes out just fine. It didn't help that we had just had to leave one store because the crowd of people and running, giggling, sword-fighting children -- yes, swords, foam ones, but still, in a store? -- had gotten me to the point that my breathing exercises weren't helping.

As some have stated above, I also need a fair amount of time to process information and formulate a response. I've read that this is common for introverts. I've learned to never give an off-the-cuff answer to important questions. When someone approaches me with a question and I don't immediately know the answer, I'll say something along the lines of: "That's a great question. I'm going to have to give it some thought. Can I get back to you tomorrow with an answer? Say around two pm (or whenever's appropriate)? We'll have more time to discuss it then." That usually gets a good response since the person knows I'm taking the question seriously and have set a specific time limit for my answer. Even if the person needs an answer more quickly, I've at least bought myself a little time, even if only a few minutes.

Yes. Haha.
When I know I am about to converse with someone, I write what I need or want to say to them on my arm before hand.

Yes.

pippilngstkngpr wrote:

"Does anyone here when your going to have to talk to someone you write what you need to say?

For me if I don't write what I need to say I loose what I want to say and than hours later after the conversation I remember all I want to say. Also, I need time to put all my thoughts together. I can't just say what I want to say my mind needs to go through everything and make sure it's what I want to say and it's all there."

before my visit to doctors or anywhere i need to point out certain important things or to ask something ,i usually write them dow.only then i can have a fruitful conversation.otherwise i end up forgetting all important stuff.but problem remains when i have to accompany formal with informal talking.

Brittany2907 wrote:

"This is me too. A lot of the time I know what I want to say but I don't know how to say it. My brain just doesn't want to turn my thoughts into spoken words at times and when asked a question I end up sitting there going..."Umm...". They think it's because I don't know what to say but I DO, I just can't seem to express it orally."


I have problem verbalizing inner thoughts.i know and can picture what needs to be expressed.but the words are not there .also forget the right words the moment i need to use them.end up using wrong word in urgent situations.

This makes total sense to me. I've been trying to have a discussion in another part of the forum and I am having such trouble getting my ideas into words. So last night I wrote down all I wanted to say as it came to me and tried to make it coherent. Unfortunately I left the piece of paper at home... Oh well.

My thoughts are like butterflies, or swirling light or the sea. Very incoherent. Something can drift through my mind and then I forget it instantly. I used to find it difficult at school to answer questions. I knew the answer, but it was a laborious task to put it into words.

Usually I can say things much more clearly if I have some time to think it over. I usually don't feel quite right in "live" conversations because I know my output isn't as good as it would be if I just had that time to reflect. On a good day my "live" words can be surprisingly appropriate, but fatigue quickly sets in.

On the other hand, there have been times when my immediate response has been better than anything I'd have been able to concoct in the absence of time constraints. I think I usually apply a lot of censorship to what I say - there's a social-acceptability filter operating, "don't say that, it's too prejudiced/offensive/glib." But if I get angry then my immediate feelings sometimes decide to stand up and be counted, warts and all, and sometimes that's a lot better than anything I can think of later.

I generally have to think things through before I speak so it gives me a bit of a hestiant speech pattern. To make things more interesting I had a teacher that obsessed about not using "um" so instead of filler, there are long awkward pauses. Also because my family is more verbose, I tend to get run over a lot in my house so I get really frustrated. Then they complain because I take so long to say something. Furthermore, when they interupt me I go back to the beginning which they get mad at me for.