What is common sense?

Post Reply New Topic

I've read Aspies lack it and my mom says I need some. So what's your interpretation of what is common sense?

i think i've lumped it into this giant (somewhat illogical) category of "what most people know without having to be explicitly told." i think for most, this means unwritten social rules, "etiquette," when to use white lies (when not to use them) and what kind of consequences one's behavior in the social realm are likely to result in. (these are all things i struggle with, but which most people seem to pick up with ease.)

that's only a part of it, i realize. i haven't sorted the rest out yet. so i still have the broad heading: "what most people know without having to be told." maybe if i could define the rest, i would understand how to go about getting "common sense."

A piece of knowledge that everyone holds in common, that is just learned over time

We should start a list

Something that I'm sorely lacking in.

Common sense is something lot of people would know without being told it.


For example, it's common sense to turn on the washer when someone asks you to wash the clothes. If you don't turn the water on and put soap in it, how will the clothes get cleaned? See everyone knows that. Even I knew at a young age because I have seen my mother do it.


But I do hate the word "common sense" because I see it as an insult to aspies. Sometimes I find it acceptable to use that word like the time my ex thought I wanted him to cross the high way to get the the store. But guess what? The store was on the same side of the highway as the gas station so why would I have him cross the highway and back? He said I wasn't specific enough about which street to cross and some people call the highway a street. See, that was when I told him it's common sense to know which street to cross, all he had to do was look and he would know which street to cross, even an autistic would know that. He was just an idiot and wouldn't admit it.

I am an NT who is continually frustrated with my Aspie friend's stubborn refusal to return texts and emails.
So, here's one for ya: In the NT world, common sense means returning your friend's correspondence promptly (not two weeks later).

LOL - Guilty of that. Didn't know that was also an Aspie Trait. Thanks for the tip.

Back to the topic. Common Sence is also something I don't have. I do thing as I was told, and I don't take that extra step to "think" things out.

Example. Wife told me "If it rains, bring the drying clothing outside in." It started raining, and I brought them in. And I set them down on the futon. When she gets home she starts yelling at me. "Why did you do that?" "What do you mean, I did as you said". "Are you crazy???" (at the time I didn't know about Aspergers). "I did exactly as you said". "Don't you have any common sence?" "What are you talking about?" "The futon is all wet now." "I'm sorry I didn't think about that, I just did as you told me"

My life has always been like that, until I found out about Aspergers. Now I know I have no common sence.

I have a lot of common sense (for lack of a better way to put it). It seems to me that a lot of NT's lack common sense, so I'm not sure about the Aspie-to-NT comparison on this one.

Ya that clothes incident sounds like something I'd do LOL! Like I said mom says I need some Common sense and that "I need help"

Uh NTs do this too and I hate it. An NT did this to me back in October. We were chatting in PM and then he stopped responding. The same thing happened on another forum except the chat didn't last no more than one reply.
Also another NT did this to me on YIM. She said she wanted to be my friend and we chatted for hours on IM on Jan. 8th and she said she enjoyed talking to me but it was frustrating at times because I took things literal, didn't pick up on her sarcasm so she had to watch what she says, and she had difficulty explaining things to me but she did learn a lot and more about AS. Then she had to go and said ttyl and she now ignores my IMs so I stopped IMing her. Why do people do this to me?
Well that NT did say I was hard to talk to at times. But I do not buy the "I'm too busy" crap because it's the most common excuse to not talk to someone. At first I believe it and then after a while I don't anymore.

In an argument, 'common sense' is usually the opinion of the OTHER person

Lacking in Common sense is not limited to AS... Neither of my sisters have a lick of it, nor did my mother. I think that people can develop it over time if they just learn to pay attention to surroundings. My AS son has nearly none. If I tell him to put his clothes in the wash, he will put them in with no soap and not turn them on. If I don't need to use the washer any time soon, he could conceivably have his dirty clothes in there for days. Also if I do not check his hamper to tell him to put them in the wash he will not. Instead he will stop changing clothes and wear the same ones for a week. Or more if I don't notice.

Do not even get me started on how long he will go without showering... Yesterday he started scratching his junk right in front of me, it had been like a week since he showered. Which means he hadn't changed underpants either. *sigh* I seriously worry about when he is old enough to move out.

It turns out, common sense isn't actually that common anyway.

common sense:
The idea that everyone knows certain things, together that is the common sense. Mostly when someone say A, they think everyone knows that they really mean B and expect that B is done.

In ANY world, DECENCY means not demanding that people do something that is very difficult for them "right now", especially when the person who you are making the demand of is already overwhelmed.