Do people think you always have to be right?

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My ex thought I always had to be right because he said I always had to argue if I think I'm right. It wasn't that I had to be right, it was because he was ignorant and judgemental so I had to correct him so he wouldn't be.

My husband thinks I always have to be right or it's fifty questions asked or you're wrong. I am just trying to understand their opinion and why it's this way or that way, same as their point of view. That's how I have a social conversation.

I can't think of the times when I have been asked "Do you always have to be right?" It's not that I have to be right, it's me feeding them some information they didn't know about. I am not trying to get them to change their opinion, they can on their own after learning some new stuff. I don't have a problem with people correcting me because I don't know everything. If I am wrong about something, I expect to be corrected.

Yeah, I used to get that all the time too.

The problem I had is that since I rationally thought through my decisions, I thought others did also. It turns out most people don't actually make their decisions based on things like evidence or reason. They mostly make decisions based on their biased interpretation of misleading information, which they then become emotionally invested in, and then resist all attempts to change. Now of course I don't blame people for having a biased interpretation of information, thats impossible to avoid. The thing which annoys me is when they become emotionally invested, and then resist all attempts to change.

Trying to have a actual conversation about a topic based on reason and logic only serves to annoy people because in order for them to participate they must realize that the conclusions they already had may not be entirely accurate. This is unacceptable to most people, so they subconsciously reject any attempt to reconsider currently held opinions. This leads to them irrationally looking elsewhere for something to blame. For example, they aren't being close minded, your being pushy. They aren't avoiding a conversation about the facts, your being argumentative.

Its a very annoying thing when you try to have any meaningful conversation beyond simple and superfluous things like sports or the weather. I have found that having an open conversation about things like politics, economies, morals, government systems, or anything like that to be almost impossible with the vast majority of people. That is why I mostly avoid talking about anything of importance because most people refuse to have a rational discussion about it. So, for most people, I just try to leave them alone and hope that they don't interfere with me in any way which causes significant problems.

This of course doesn't happen when your stuck with them (aka parents), but at least you can avoid spouses, friends, or other people with the sadly dominant gene of refusing to question and evaluate their beliefs and principles based on logic and rational thought rather then preconceived notions and emotional investment.

I totally relate to that. My friend's husband was putting up a curtain pole and I pointed out that he was using the wrong size drill bit for the size of rawl plugs he was using. He realised I was right and said, "Oh, you always have to be right!"

I get told this all the time, my brother and sister don't really talk to me much anymore because of this, and I'm always arguing with my wife about how she is doing things the wrong way.

I'm not usually aware of it until its happened.

Last edited by danace2000 on 03 Feb 2010, 5:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

I used to have this problem, but I got rid of it, just this past September. I'm a whole new person, now. I don't have to be right, or argue about it.

I can not really answer this question in the way that it was asked because I do not know what other people think. But I do love a good argument, although, around me nobody in authority likes them. Especially when I question their authority. They can never give me a good answer, while I can. It would help if they understood that I would like to have a reason in my head of why they think they can tell me to do something. I could feed them the answer, so to speak, but that would defeat the purpose of asking.

It wasn't too long ago, that I'd always used to argue my point, to prove my intelligence, hurting people in the process. That lasted from April 1998 until September 2009. The time that I was bogged down with depression, psychosis and numb emotions.

I always am right.

I had a bad problem with this. I honestly thought it stemmed from being rejected so often and feeling the need to be "perfect" so that people would like me. So, I had to always do things perfectly and be right all the time...especially since everyone kept telling me how "wrong" I was.

People say that to me alot.

But the thing is, I'm not always right. I just happen to know more about certain things, and I do my research before entering into a debate, so that I am not stuck with misleading or incorrect information. Plus, I have the ability to use logic and reason, rather than let my emotions take over.

People don't seem to like that, for some odd reason.

They also don't like that when we are having a disagreement about a certain fact, I will look it up on the computer and find several reputable websites that prove my point. I also try to find reputable websites that prove their point, just in case, and of course I find none.
Apparently, that is very arrogant.

When I am wrong, I love to be corrected! I don't want to go around spouting off incorrect information and ignorance. If I am doing such a foolish thing, please correct me!

Yes I also want to be corrected too if I am wrong. I always assume I am right if people don't correct me. My mom doesn't have a problem correcting me. I love to be corrected just as long as it's done nicely.

Also when I am not sure if I am right about something, I always say "I think" and tell people I am not sure about something. I even say "If I remember correctly" and when I have theories, I say it's my theory. I don't want people to think I am right if I am not sure about something.

It's also not my fault I know more about things. I happen to not be ignorant. I know I can be because isn't everyone? That's why we correct people to teach them so they learn something new. Only true ignorant people don't listen because they are the ones who don't want to be wrong. At least I can admit I'm wrong because I don't know everything. Wait maybe it is my fault I know more about things because I take the time to learn and listen and I am open minded.

Spokane Girl

My sister made a rule that said I was always wrong. It didn't matter what I was saying and sometimes, before I could say something she'd shout out "wrong!" because I was always wrong no matter what. Even if I quoted a book, newspaper, etc., I was still wrong because I was born wrong.

I will dispise her as long as I live.

Forget about OTHER people

I think I am always right ...........at the time................but I KNOW that I am NOT always right, usually after the fact, but just occasionally at the time

How did you manage to excorcise THOSE demons

I think I can answer that.

If you've ever seen Dogma, there's a scene at the very beginning in which Ben Affleck & Matt Damon, as banished angels Bartleby & Loki, are hanging out in what appears to be a bus station. Loki is engaged in intense conversation with a nun and making philosophical arguments to demonstrate that organized religion is a tool for the manipulation of the masses and is actually detrimental to individual spiritual development. As she leaves, looking dazed and distressed, Bartleby admonishes Loki for claiming to be an atheist and destroying the poor woman's faith, in spite of the fact that he has himself met God face-to-face. Loki's reply is "I just like to f**k with the clergy, man. I love to keep those guys on their toes."

That was me. Throughout my twenties, I looooved cornering poor Christian slobs and destroying their faith with logic and documented historical fact. I got an almost sexual high from that tortured look in their eyes as they were forced to face the realization that everything they believed about God and his benevolent protection and grand plan for humanity was never anything but sheer fantasy. I was brutal, relentless. I didn't stop until I knew they'd be waking up sweating in the night for years to come, with nothing and no one left to pray to for strength, help or guidance. Muah-ha-ha-ha.

I thought that's what they deserved for being stupid enough to fall for that crap in the first place. Actually, I was just mad at my parents for telling me there was a Santa Claus - or at myself for being young and dumb enough to fall for it. My heart was broken when my faith was shattered and so I made it my mission to share my pain with the world. And it wasn't hard to do - when you're an Aspie and you get obsessed with uncovering the truth about something, you can devour libraries like some sort of information Borg, until even so-called experts can't win an argument with you.

I still go into that philosophy-ninja mode sometimes out of force of habit - I don't mean to, it's just a knee-jerk, automatic thing, I know all the arguments by heart and sometimes they just spill out, but...gradually, over a period of years, I realized I had become my enemy. Now I was the one going around proselytizing my own beliefs and pushing them on people who had never asked for my opinion, in the name of truth - MY truth. Because the more I came to understand about the nature of reality itself, the more I realized just how malleable the very fabric of the physical world is, and how, at the cosmic and sub-molecular levels, the patterns that make up 'reality' are not static and concrete. Solid matter is not so solid after all. And the things I thought I knew - well, at the end of the day, we may, after all, be merely phantasms in the imagination of something more vast than we can even conceive. We arrogant little humans so like to pretend we know all there is to know - we with our twelve-thousand year old civilization and our smart phones.

Anyway, the point is, I decided that if people were happy believing what they believed and those beliefs weren't leading them to harm others, who the hell am I to psychologically assault them and make their lives less comfortable? Truth be told, sometimes I wish I could believe in something that would allow me to set aside my troubles and worries and believe that a magic genie would take care of everything for me. I'd like that a lot. But my brain is not wired that way. I can't look at life and only see what I want to see. I see the details, the points of inconsistency and they nag at me. But I've stopped trying to make everyone else see them, too. Live and let live. I believe its called maturity.

Or maybe I just got tired of arguing with people who didn't want to see the truth in the first place. In any case, I don't have to be right anymore. Well...I don't have to insist that I'm right anymore.

That was a nice post. You make nice posts.