"Buddy System" Idea

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Hi! I am an Aspie who is thinking about
starting a "Buddy" System in my school.
However, the administration doesn't think
it is a good idea, because they don't think
mixing both our neurodiverse body with
the normal student body is a good
thought. I, though am in mainly normal
classes, but have a few special Ed classes.
I am hoping to get some hopeful messages,
and send this thread to my school principal.
Thanks!

Can you give more detail about the 'buddy system'?

I'm not sure what you mean by starting a buddy system. You mean like a buddy program where a "normal" student is assigned to help an aspie or other special ed student?

On a slightly side note, to me "buddy system" means making somebody else in your tent get out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the latrines with you. (Theoretically good for safety, but seriously, you try being an awkward kid trying to make friends at camp and see whether or not you can convince anybody to do that without hating you!)

To me it reminds me of a Simpsons episode. Each student was assigned a buddy to go on a field trip together.
So when Bart and Lisa (who were buddies) were left behind the teacher asks the students if their buddy was with them to which they all reply 'yes'. Ahh the buddy system, foolproof. Of course it was not.

So that's my take on it.

The fact that they think it's bad to mix groups is technically racism, no?

As pensieve pointed out, buddy systems only work to a point. But I think the point of this system would be to make things easier for auties and what not through the logic that two heads are better than one. I think that aspie/NT pairs would make better sense for communication and interaction learning, but I'm not convinced that you could find enough NTs willing or able to deal with us... Basically, two D/xed people could go through the day burying their heads in the sand and not sharing any thoughts. A mixed pair could potentially drive one or both of them mad.

Assuming this is an educational tool, I don't know where that leaves us.

When I attempted to go to a new high school I was assigned a buddy. At this time I was undiagnosed but nevertheless, it didn't work out. It was overwhelming being forced to try to do what a "normal" student does. I was forced to be around large groups of people at lunch and my buddy didn't like it that I was following her around (I heard her telling her friends).

Keep in mind though that the only reason I was assigned a buddy was because that I was a new student. The system might work better for students who have already been at the school for a while (because they are used to the surroundings) and if the buddys for those on the spectrum are chosen carefully as they might be more accepting. My buddy was chosen at random and was a trouble maker, so if you are going to try to get a system like that implemented in your school then I think students should have the option to volunteer to be a buddy so the teachers know they actually want to help.

I don't think that it would really work out. The NT might come to resent the Aspie, and the Aspie might feel as though they were being forced to be normal.

I'm betting it's a bad idea too. Think about the possibility of being paired with someone you end up not liking or who ends up not liking you. What then? I had my taste of this being paired to share lockers in grade school. Every time, it didn't work out for whatever reason, and I felt relieved when I got my own locker. They always had extra ones at the end of the row just to handle such cases. I don't recall ever going through a single school year without having my own locker. It's better to be alone than to be forced into interaction with another person.

Well, you only need about 0,5% of NTs to the program.

Well, I believe that a "normal" person should
be chosen by the Special Ed admin, sort of like
a mentor program. That way, they know
how they match up.

Kindof upset by negative messages, cAuse
I've studied long and hard on this... I want to work with
kids like me when I grow up...

Don't feel discouraged. I'm sure there are NT's out there that would want to help out. They're not likely to pick a bully or an NT that has no interest in helping out a person with AS.
I remember when I first started high school and someone was chosen to show me around the school. We stayed friends and she never joined in with the girl who used to tease me.
Just because people have experienced NT/AS not getting along in the past doesn't mean it's always going to be that way.
Your 'buddy system' could be about teaching people to accept one and an others differences.

I think it could work provided the NT kids volunteer to do it and aren't roped in by their parents or teachers... I think it would also be important that the AS kid not be forced to have a peer mentor if they do not wish to do so.

That sounds more like discrimination....Change the word neurodiverse with "mixed race", and you have it full and blatant.The school admin sounds pretty bigotted. If that was me, Id go to the local paper about your idea and if the school still turns it down and gives that same reason, then it will be bad publicity for them.Segregation is a thing of the past.

It seems like the actual "mixing" they don't have a problem with (given that you aren't in a segregated classroom).

I can't see a "buddy" system working out. You can't FORCE high school kids to hang out with someone they don't want to.

Even if it's strictly on a volunteer basis and the NT kids are generally good-natured, there is still a high risk of it being a "pity friendship". If the focus is on NT students 'helping' the autistic student, then it isn't an equal friendship. An NT student might act friendly in a tutor sense, but not want to be caught dead hanging out with the autistic in public. If the autistic student is slow to catch on to this, it could lead to a lot of grief.

There's a difference between working with "kids like you" for a career when you are older and asking students to volunteer their time. The adults who work with the kids want to do it, they have studied to do it and obviously did so because they WANT to help. The students might volunteer but it might be for the wrong reasons (to make themselves look good on university applications, for example) or the volunteer might discover that it's not something that they actually want to do - after all, they aren't experts, they don't know what to expect from someone on the spectrum unlike the adults who choose to work with people with ASD's for a career.

Don't be discouraged. You can work with people on the spectrum when you are older, just don't expect students at your school to want to help in the same way.

Personally, I think it's a good idea. When I was in college, I acted as a mentor for 2 elementary school kids that were having social problems. Honestly it was kind of like the blind leading the blind, but at least they knew someone cared enough about them to show up once a week, and I wish I'd had some kind of mentor when I was their age. The mentor program at my college was VERY popular, so if you have trouble recruiting high school kids as "mentors", you might want to try college kids. It's a little less awkward to have a mentor/buddy that isn't in your same peer group.