Asperger/Gifted School. Would you have wanted to be in one?

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My in-law aunt has a nephew who's very intellectually gifted. After skipping two classes in elementary school, his parents decided a school relating to his condition more would be better for him. He's 8 years old.

He says the most intelligent things and asks the most unusual questions, and frankly, he reminds me of me a lot (I was and am known to ask 'unusual' and 'off-topic' questions). Nobody in the family really likes him, and frequently refer to him as Niles Crane or Annoying Einstein.

Despite what I know others in my circle think of those types of children, I am very jealous of the opportunity this little boy has. He can learn in an environment that suits him, where he can discuss issues with his pears and where the work speed is about 5 times faster than in the regular educational system. He can probably graduate high school with great honors, go on to university, become a researcher and discover great things. I see these kids as the ones who can cure this world from cancer or HIV, and it seems that others just find the idea of them annoying.

I was in the regular educational system for all my life, and I can say with certainty that it played a large part in the fact that I how I was raised there. Teachers didn't understand me, thought I had ADD, didn't recognize my need to learn and, ultimately, put me in lower levels, with people who worked slower and had different thinking patterns. I was depressed and self injuring from the ages of 11 to 20.

If I had been in a specialized school, I might have already had a university degree, probably would've been able to handle my Asperger's better, and - ultimately - might not even have been as depressed as I was for all those years.

If you haven't been in such a school, would you have wanted to be?

No. I should have been put in a special ADD class. It would have been good if my teachers would have picked up that I had ADD and autism, so I didn't need to be home schooled at 11 and completely given up on my education when I was 13.

Did you really give up your education? That really makes me feel bad! What did you end up doing then?

I would have given anything to be in a school where I wasn't so "smart" - as it was, their solution was to tell me to go to classes but not participate. I was allowed to bring books to read or do homework from other classes but nobody looked at it. I remember a girl who, on the first day of high school, said "Reading is the staff of life!" (with enthusiasm). Everybody gasped and backed away. She said she was going to a special school and I wanted to grab her and say "Take me with you!". We never saw her again. It got worse - my school developed a secretarial program and mom took me out of science and stuck me in typing ("You'll always have a job.")

Skateboarding and dribbling a basketball throughout my street.
But I was sent to a college at 15, where I eventually did get my high school certificate. The teachers didn't pick up on any learning problems though I had to drop subjects, so I knew something was going on with me.

I would have loved to.

We're trying to get our son into an AS-school. I almost cried after having been there, the respect they show these children is something I have never experienced in my entire life.

I'm considered gifted, but a lot of my "gifts" were never explored or developed because I was always at the top of the class. And a bunch of them were squashed under anxiety attacks and obsessive behavior because of social problems. It hurts to think about how much further I would have come if I had been given that chance. But I'm elated at the prospect of my son getting what I didn't.

Last edited by LipstickKiller on 12 Feb 2010, 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

I wouldn't call myself gifted, but I'd like to go to a school just for Aspies

They stuck me ahead two grades worth at school, which made things very difficult for me... not only did I have problems due to autism (which the school wasn't aware of) I also found it hard being the smallest kid in class.

I would have sooner gone to a school for gifted children.

I'm sorry to hear that your nephew is disliked for his intellect. He could be called worse things than Niles Crane or Einstein... it shows that envy is at the root of their problem.

It would have to depend on WHO is running the school, do they actually understand anything and what their goals are.

But -

up to 8th grade I was in a very mixed school feeding into an allegedly gang-run high school and suffered accordingly. 9th - 10th I was moved to a private school with high academics and a filtered population, many ith university parents. Higher teachers. A godsend. 11th grade back to very mixed public school, a few really good teachers outweighing at least one dolt pervert and some stereoptypical lames. 12 grade fell into a heavily university bred school, got assimilated by a group of the intellectually weird which saw me into the universitry which is another story.

So if the school was not into meds pushing and had a half decent curriculum - I would go or send the boy.

You have no idea how much I would have loved that. But they didn't have a clue why I did so poorly in school. They didn't care either because no one spoke to me about it.

While in Junior HS I successfully failed every spelling test for three years. That sounds like a record. I did well in math until I noticed the other kids made fun of me. I'll never forget one day in algebra I suggested an alternate way of solving a problem and the teacher looked at me as though I was crazy. At least that's how I read her expression. Let alone I problems at home. Now I think both parents had/have some form of autism. I know my brother does but he doesn't want to be diagnosed.

I needed individual attention. I believe I would have more self confidence now if I went to a special school.

Being in a special school would allow to be with kids who have similar problems so they wouldn't grow up thinking there is no one like him/her. I learned at a very early age that I have to hide a lot of my personality traits from people. I know that was before I was 5 because it's the same year I saw Pinocchio in the movie theater and I identified with him.

irene

I was enrolled in a regular elementary school (I began younger than most, 4 years old in kindergarten) however beginning in 1st or 2nd grade, I was sent once a week to a gifted class with a few select students. The class was much smaller and the learning was far more engaging. My mother eventually withdrew me from the gifted class for several reasons.

One, because my main elementary teacher didn't like the setup of the gifted class and to show his disapproval, often held tests on the days the gifted classes were held and then refused to allow me to make them up because I "chose" to skip his class. Another reason I was withdrawn was because of how far behind socially I was compared to the other kids. It was assumed it was because I was up to two years younger than my classmates (I am still behind socially, but my family isn't aware of my AS). My family didn't want me to be completely socially ostracized.

Anyway, I probably would have preferred to stay in the gifted class. I was usually ahead of all my classmates in most subjects (aside from math) and was usually in advanced placement classes. It was suggested for me to skip a grade or two but that would have aggravated the social isolation.

Wow, I'm sorry happy to have some responses to this. I talked about this with some of my co-students (non Asperger's students) and this disapproved of this thought completely. They kept talking about how it would make you look down on people and consider yourself better than the rest. See? This is what you get for being in a certain condition, and not getting any help from people who don't have it...

And I think mgran is right on that nephew story. It's mostly envy, I think.

Lord knows I'm having a bad day with discrimination on all fronts, but I'm probably going to open a topic about that on a different sub forum.

Poor youngster. They should show more understanding. Would they rather he was out starting fights or hurting animals for fun, like a lot of boys??

I knew an Asperger kid like that, he was such a sweetie. He had this hyperactive and curious mind and he'd ask me lots of questions or sit and tell me all about his special interests. I didn't mind at all.

I am at a school for autistics.
The difference is that all the classes are in just one class and one teacher teaches several subjects.
I do not know what the other differences are, because I have not been to any other high school.
Teachers do seem to have an aversion to Socrates-type questions (e.g. questioning authority, 'why' questions).

Looking back i would have probably chosen a bit more demanding school(s) if i had the chance to. Problem is that in our country (probably due to size) we don`t really have them, maybe some after school activites, camps, but that`s about it. You still have to attend regular school to be able to advance to next level of education (i think). Even skipping 1 class is very rare. So yeah, we don`t have 12 year-old geniouses in universities. The only special elementary schools are for people who can`t pass in regular, there is a possibility of putting autistic children there, however 1. the teachers aren`t specialised for that as it is a school for various "impairments" and 2. once you are there you basically never get out of that system and your education finishes in high school latest.

Anyway back to original point. I never really had any problems in school with others. Nothing serious at least. Guess i was lucky for being in such schools or that i never really "sought trouble". Had to stand up for myself maybe once or twice and after that noone really bothers with you anymore. The key i guess is in not fighting, kids just don`t find it fun if you don`t react to some silly insults or whatever. So overall from that angle experience wasn`t bad. More concerning is that while we are all treated equally (which isn`t necessarily bad), there is always way more effort in helping those who are struggling to pass at a certain subject than those who excel at it. At best a more gifted person only had more work to do so many (including myself unfortunately) ask themselves why bother if it has close to no meaning in my future education probably even career. One is too young at that time that only real challenges allow you to grow. So i storm into university without any problems hardly breaking a sweat and now i just feel like i`m on a bicycle without any pedals due to my unattained work habits

However while i do wish i attended more demanding schools so i`d have been challenged enough to "correctly develop" i`m a bit unsure whether schools for gifted really are a necessity. Like i said, looking back i probably would have chosen one, but at that time i doubt it. You could argue that the parents can make such a decision. I`m not so sure. First of all each parent thinks that their child is better than it actually is and could overwork it at a very early age only to be depressed/unhappy... his whole life afterwards. Secondly it is difficult to know what interests children at such age plus interests can shift dramatically very quickly. So you`d end up extra straining children in areas they aren`t necessarily interested in and if they drop out it`s even worse on them. Additionally with such diverse intersets people have it would be very difficult to find one that fits the whole class. I`d say a personal teacher (or even parent if possible) of some sort to expand those areas would be far better. Or an after school activity where there is just 1 subject and only those interested apply.
Also it wouldn`t be long before these "elite" schools would be noticed by the rich and majority of spots would just be bought.

So what i think is that instead of these special schools a more personal approach would be better suiting (in an ideal world where each parent could afford such a thing). Getting some sort of certificate you can use later on would be a nice bonus and motivation - so you can maybe pass a class in college without having to "retake it" or similar. (Again if someone can`t function well in regular school maybe different type but still same difficulty level with maybe additional help and courses to better fit into society should be an option.)

I hope it`s not too depressing to read but i felt like i had to write something a bit more critical as i heard numerous stories about people who attended schools for gifted only to end up miserable by the time they are 20(ish), some went even further than that. Maybe sometimes this world should just slow down a bit and let things develop with appropriate tempo instead of pushing it till something goes terribly wrong.

Considering I effectively dropped out in 5th grade due to general disgust with the school system and it's failings, and officially left in 9th grade... it would have been nice to at least know why I had such different drives from other kids regarding learning and socialization.

I educated myself, for the record, by the time I took my first placement test in 1st grade I was scoring above high school graduate level... raising the Socrates' type questions an earlier poster mentioned: "why am I in elementary school then?", and after I left I went and got my GED for completion's sake. I've since furthered my education in physics and math at a high enough level that watching college lectures online leaves me feeling like I should be standing with the professor helping him explain points to the class.



Would it be nice to have been in a school that allowed me to learn at my pace? Yes, but I don't think it should have been something I was entitled to because of AS or a fascination with learning.

School in general should be completely overhauled, the early years of education should be more collegiate for all students, teach kids how to actively learn, then when they get into the high school/college years, teach them whatever trade or specific subject they take interest in for a career or whatnot.

Instead of teaching kids to effectively sit in an office type atmosphere without question, and only offering the option to learn proactively when they are nearly/already adults.

Last edited by justMax on 12 Feb 2010, 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.