I am getting better as I age.

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Anyone else feel this way? I have managed to feel more comfortable talking to people except sometimes others who are watching me interract with strangers often tell me that I give lengthy versions to topics that are supposed to be small talk. Nobody can tell I have aspergers except they notice hand stims but don't generally associate that with aspergers. I don't know if this means I am getting better or more comfortable with just being me. I've also been able to tell some people off or question their beliefs in how I am supposed to be. My favorite question currently is, where is the skill applied in socializing when there isn't much of social etiquette applied and can you please tell me what is so skillfull about being meanspirited and a bully mentality?

I am getting better at coming up with things to say back on the spot rather than freezing. Anyways, hi Wrong Planet

I've definitely noticed this. It wasn't through any conscious effort of mine, either, since I didn't get a diagnosis until 14 months ago. When I was younger, I used to talk people's ears off about my interests (God help anyone who asked me about SimCity).

I also used to do speeches with the gifted program in elementary school, and I never used any hand gestures. The times my mom tried to get me to do them, I only would when practicing my speech, not when actually giving it. They felt so unnatural to me, I was sure I looked like a fool to everyone if I did them (not the case, but oh well ).

I also had a lot more sensory issues. I couldn't get in a hot tub without feeling like I was being boiled. When I was three, a blizzard hit and I went out to play in the snow for the first time. I remember standing out in the yard with my hood pulled over my face screaming; the snow gently touching my face hurt. It felt like a bunch of little knives stabbing me. I also used to get migraines extremely regularly (once a month without fail). I haven't gotten one in around six years now; I feel these were connected to my sensory issues, as those have also diminished. The only problem I still have with that is I can't drink hot chocolate until it's lukewarm.

At the same time, I've kept my amazing memory and my ability to picture things perfectly in my head, so it's a good progression.

EDIT: Welcome to WrongPlanet! I hope you stick around; there are so many things I do that I either didn't notice or thought that nobody else experienced until I've seen them brought up here. It's a great place!

Better in some ways for me and worse in others..

There are ways that I really wish I could improve, and things I seemed more capable of doing in the past that are very difficult for me now...

I hate having the communication barriers that make simple, casual communication with people I don't know all that well....soooo stinking difficult...and some of the people i have these problems with are people I see every day and who work for my business....so because I can't talk to them, they tend to assume I dislike them and think the worst of me in turn...

I feel like an invader in my own house as a result...

some things are easier now.
Other things are harder.

I think it is dangerous to assume there is a kind of exponential improvement in all areas as we age.
I have noticed some of my social skills have improved, but there are other areas that are as debilitating...my sensory problems for one, never improved with age, and there is a kind of second wave of acutenss of these issues as i near 48.

I've made a lot of improvement since I was in my mid teens. Before that I didn't talk to strangers and talked only a little bit my family and people I knew. I remember when it was hard to talk to my own brother. I never went out too. Now I'm an awkward but good talker, I travel a lot, though never out of state and if I travel out of Sydney CBD I'd freak out a bit.
I also feel like I've regressed in some ways too. My friend said that I put too much pressure on myself to live up to other peoples expectations and he's right. An NT this boy is, one of the few that care about me enough to take an interest in ASD's.
So I do still struggle, though I had been doing worse in my childhood.

I think I do better now because I'm not forced to interact with people my own age (i.e highschool) and since I spend most of my time studying and taking care of kids I can pretty much avoid social interaction that I don't care for.

The main improvement came when I was 16 and discovered flirting. I'm not great at it, but I mimicked it well enough to get boys to enjoy my company. I still use it, and thus get along much better with men. Unfortunately I can't always regulate it and sometimes people think I have a thing for them, even though I'm just trying to grease the wheels of interaction. And women don't like me, of course.

Though, come to think of it, it only seems to work with older men. And when you're a girl, I guess older men are easy targets.

My social anxiety went away after high school, but I always relied on my boyfriends or on the flirting to get on with people. It worked, but I didn't make any lasting friendships. Without a boyfriend to lean on I seem to rub people the wrong way. And when the boyfriend is gone so are they. When I made this discovery, after my previous relationship ended, my social anxiety came back.

The diagnostic process I think brought out a lot of autistic traits. I was forced to acknowledge traits I'd tried to deny and there were long talks and interviewing about how I socialize. I'm now acutely aware of my deficits, which leads to social anxiety, which leads to autistic interaction.

So it swings back and forth. My obsessive nature calmed down during my previous relationship, but now I'm back into obsessive mode again. I suspect that the reason my interests cooled of during my previous relationship was that my boyfriend in fact became my special interest. I was seriously obsessed with him (not healthy when the other person is emotionally unreliable and speaks in innuendos).

I suspect that the reason my interests cooled off during my previous relationship was that my boyfriend in fact became my special interest. I was seriously obsessed with him. [/quote]

I also was once in a situation in which my special interest became a boy that I was infatuated with. However, he moved away and I never got together with him.
Anyway, during my college years I improved a lot with my conversational skills. Also, over time I became a lot better with eye contact. I was probably able to improve because I have a good long term memory, and I tend to remember a lot of specific details in conversations.

yup, feels like i'm a child...it's always been this way...just couldn't get my happiness cuz NT'S kept putting me down :0(

I get less talkative as I get older and I still do not understand the need for social interaction (for anyone, but especially people on WrongPlanet).
I think that that makes it harder to accept social inadequacy.

There is definately an improvement in me as I have got older. As a kid I was very 'inwards' lining things up and spinning stuff but as I have got older I can now speak much easier (about my special interests) and people say I am better at debating things (although I still get a little angry!) because before I would have just blown up and hit the other person! I still struggle with socialising with strangers in a shop because I get freaked out when something in the interaction changes (quite commonly just a reminder that I have not removed my card from the chip and pin device!) from the normal 'hello', 'would you like some bags?' 'that will be £--.-- please' 'Thank you, goodbye!'

On a more technical note, Autism is a developmental disorder, therefore it is posssible for some of us to develop into more sociable adults, others might find this harder or impossible.

I've been living in a state of denial for nearly my entire life. So any delusions of improvement may not necessarily be true. At least looking back the concept of "improving" seems insurmountable.