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roygerdodger
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18 Feb 2010, 11:24 pm

These are some things I've been getting jealous of lately:

People who have better and exciting lives than me. We made a big deal out of it in one of my classes and it sometimes makes me sad that I don't have an exciting life to tell about. That's the same reason I usually stay away from Facebook.

People who are more intelligent than me. I don't really have a genius-level IQ like most aspies.

Some aspies/autistics who are more high-functioning than me. Maybe I should stop reading those posts in the Coping in Life boards.

People who come from families with lots of money. I always keep telling people that I don't own no video game system, MP3 player, those cell phones with fancy applications, or go to the movies every week. I think I'm the only working-class person here on WP or at my school.

Got any advice?



MorbidMiss
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19 Feb 2010, 12:50 am

"Most" Aspies do not have a genius level IQ. The only requirement as far as IQ for diagnoses is that is above average... which is anything over 100.



daydreamer84
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19 Feb 2010, 12:50 am

I don't have any advice but you are not alone! I get very jealous of other people as well. Perhaps other people don't lead as exiting lives as you think. Or perhaps what someone else finds exiting (going to loud, crowded parties for example) would be overwhelming and not exiting for you. I know that this is the case for me. People differ in terms of how mush stimulation they want/need/can handle.

I don't have a genius IQ, and I know from having taken Abnormal Psychology that the average aspie just has an average IQ.



regularcat
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19 Feb 2010, 12:55 am

felt the same way, it grows outta you....



Mikelight
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19 Feb 2010, 1:54 am

As far as the "working class" thing. I am a part of that also. I choose to direct my extra money to computer/gaming stuff and not have too much else. I have very little in possessions but the things I do have I like a lot.



Philologos
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19 Feb 2010, 2:04 am

There have been days, and times, and years - the Green Monkey / Ugly Duckling cannot help feeling some pangs, it would be nice to be physically / mentally / socially more comfortable.

I will spate you the chameleon, just give you the point - which is:

Regardless of pain, discomfort, downright persecution at times, I could not trade if it meant having a brain that worked on that wavelength.

And for what it is worth, despite the discomforts and disadvantages, and I am not what you might call privileged, fact is fact:

I am physically, mentally, emotionally better off than anyone in my family, than 90% of the people I have ever know. And socially better off than 75% of them, though one of my sisters I think has the advantage of me there.



pensieve
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19 Feb 2010, 5:19 am

I get it too. I have to keep it under control though or I can get in real despair.
I have an average IQ, unemployed, though I do spend too much money on expensive gadgets. And I'm defientely not as high functioning as some people.
But just be you and be thankful with what you've got. Surely there is something about you that you like.


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ToughDiamond
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19 Feb 2010, 7:03 am

I think it's more envy than jealousy that you're getting, but that's pedantic of me.

I don't think it's anything to feel guilty about. The divide between rich and poor is getting worse, and I think envy is an essential factor in getting that problem put right, though it's going to take more than that. We live in a cruel, unequal society, and it hurts, and it'll go on hurting until we've got that money back. Which might be a very long time. So it's depressing.

It's probably better to socialise with people in your own income bracket. I tend to prefer the low end of the middle class, which is a little above my station in life, but they don't usually flaunt their money at me, so it's not an issue.



Magneto
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19 Feb 2010, 9:23 am

Why envy them? They should be pitied, not envied. A cell phone with fancy gadgets? Really, what use is that? I have an XBOX that I got given - just an XBOX, not a 360 - and I hardly play on it, because I'm too busy discussing much more important stuff on the innumerable forums I visit. The only personal electronic gadget, besides a computer (used for writing and foruming) I use is an mp3 player to listen to music.

Quote:
People who have better and exciting lives than me. We made a big deal out of it in one of my classes and it sometimes makes me sad that I don't have an exciting life to tell about. That's the same reason I usually stay away from Facebook.

Exciting? In what way?

Just remember the Parable of the Talents. It doesn't matter what you're given; it matters what you do with them. If the guy with 5 talents had buried them in the ground and hid them until his master returned, and the guy with 2 talents had only made it into 3, the latter would have been considered much worthier than the former, even though the total was less.



Asp-Z
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19 Feb 2010, 9:30 am

IQs don't measure intelligence, functioning levels are subjective and innaccurate (the different traits happen at different levels for everyone on the spectrum).

If you want your life to improve, do something to improve it. Exactly what do you want to be better in your life? Do you want to live in a better area? More money? What, exactly, would improve your life? Find out what it is, then make it happen.



CockneyRebel
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19 Feb 2010, 11:08 am

The best way not to feel jealous is not to compare yourself to other people.


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Tollorin
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19 Feb 2010, 11:19 am

No idea how to get out of things like that either. :(


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AnotherOne
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19 Feb 2010, 12:49 pm

simply, find things that you care about and work on them. new gadgets are mostly for taking peoples money. if you are not highly social/ outgoing new applications on cell phones are not so useful. ask yourself how many of tthe apps that you already have you use.

also highly intelligent, wealthy or successful people are also very busy. i wouldn't change places with them for the world. my boss is successful, he travels like crazy to maintain that status. i don't think he has time to think from all the projects that he is doing.

find your own place in life and that would be perfect. if you end up too high or low for your abilities/talents it is always a strugle.



valkyrieraven88
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19 Feb 2010, 1:18 pm

Jealousy is a normal, healthy thing. If you listen to it, it will tell you what you want and how to better yourself.

Some things you can't fix. But if you want to be smarter, start reading more books. If you want a nicer car, save up for one.