Sometimes I just feel too shy...

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to speak up. Because of this I tend to keep things to myself. But this isn't just around strangers or people I don't know. This is also around my family with whom I am comfortable being around. Sometimes people will be talking and a question comes up, one to which I know the answer, but I stay silent. I muse over whether or not I should just say the answer out loud. I know so much things to say when I am around people who are having a conversation but I just listen, never feeling strong enough to speak and say my mind without being asked first.

Just wanna know if this can be attributed to AS and ASD's in general?

I am quite similar. I post on here a decent amount, but typing on a forum is a long ways from open communication. It doesn't matter how someone is related to me, I am very shy until I get comfortable with that person which ranges from a long time to never. Then I'm not as shy but still very quiet and still shy about some things, especially personal feelings and emotions. I think that it is not a result of my AS, but AS complicates it.

Unfortunately in face to face circumstances this results in the impression that I am intimidating, instead of just shy. That tends to be the most common word used to describe me, even by family members. That is rather unfortunate, since anyone who actually gets to know me understands that I wouldn't hurt a fly and always try to take care of those that need it the most.

yeah i feel the same way, but what i do....is write poetry...i write all my inner feelings on paper cuz i know that no one will understand me...and the cool thing about us is....if they read it, they'll never understand it lol....plus, it's like therapy...it keeps you sane :0)

yeah i feel the same way, but what i do....is write poetry...i write all my inner feelings on paper cuz i know that no one will understand me...and the cool thing about us is....if they read it, they'll never understand it lol....plus, it's like therapy...it keeps you sane :0)

yeah!, and it's free....no more trips to the psychologists....plus i always think their messing with my head...so i just write rhymes and lyrics :0)

I'm exactly like this. It's pretty rare that I shout up about anything, even when it's pretty obvious that I'd do well to break silence. Strangely enough I remember being pretty vocal about everything when I still lived with my parents, though we were all being quite negative to each other at the time, and my words were no exception. The negativity had to go, but somehow I lost much of my ability to spontaneously say anything very much.

I'm not sure what part shyness plays in it. I've always described myself as basically a shy person but I've certainly had my moments. I suppose a lot of it is a distrust of being spontaneous, knowing by experience how much damage I can do by talking without thinking.

Sometimes, when I'm in the right mood and conditions are right, I just bulldoze through it, and then I can get almost bubbly. Not long ago I engaged in a very rapid-fire, vocal conversation with somebody I knew vaguely. On another occasion we suddenly shared a silly joke together and really made each other laugh. But beyond those two events, we're very shy of each other and barely know what to say. I guess for me it's like pearl diving - I can hold my breath for a short time, and at the time it will feel for all the world as if I could go on forever, but I always find myself coming back up for air and staying there for most of the time.

I think it's a thing that can be worked on, but in my case it's definitely not just a matter of breaking the ice once and then everything is easy. I would think that if anybody with this shyness problem (or whatever it is) became deeply interested in doing better, then it would be possible to make some improvements. I'm quite a negatively-driven person, so it helps me to stay mindful of the idea that if I keep silent, then I'm denying a useful resource to my friends, which is probably more harmful than blurting out the occasional stupid comment along with useful opinion and truth.

This is not shyness, its a function of Social Anxiety, and is a direct 'fallout' result of a combination of several AS symptoms. As TD was noting, Shyness dissipates after the 'ice is broken' - shyness is a hesitation to initiate social interaction. Social Anxiety does not dissipate and continues throughout any social interaction.

I used to be afraid to speak up, because I thought that people were going to think that I was stupid, or slow.

I am always extremely uncomfortable when people talk to me, especially strangers or acquaintances.
It's because I am expected to use more language then I'm built for, usually I don't speak unless I know I'll say something that makes somebody laugh or something, funny is the only social skill I have. I really do get shy when something not so good has happened to me or someone I know. People freak out, I don't know if I've made them angry or what, and I don't know how to react so I just freeze up.

For me, I think it has more to do with purposeful avoidance than shyness. Many times I will avoid people and strangers just because experience has taught me that I often come across as a blockhead when I'm around them.