Ever heard of "script anxiety"?

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I heard the term on a documentary regarding IQ.......not sure if it was related to Aspergers or the person who was speaking of their IQ, had AS, but the term stuck.......and this was before I was dx with AS and not having a clue, really.

I thought to myself "Yeah! That is an excellent way of describing it."

My psychologist also uses this term in discussing ways to deal with it.......

Any experience of script anxiety out there?

Mics

Maybe

There's a woman I like at the local gym and over a weekend away I worked through all the possible things I could say to her and her possible replies (and how I would deal with it). The end result was that I spoiled my weekend.

Vanilla_Slice

"Script anxiety" - I'm not sure but I think that's what I suffered mightily with the whole time I had jobs - gotta answer promptly, brightly, intelligently! That is exhausting. I'm on disability now and I don't bother with people's scripts.
What a relief, and how wonderful the energy that is released for other things.

Sometimes I can spend hours replaying in my mind how to conduct a conversation with a person...usually someone I have an disagreement with because my usual tendancy is to roll over and play dead...unless I get pissed then it is not pretty while both sitautions I want to avoid when I am in a disagrement...I end up doing one or the other anyway...regardless of my "preperations".

Interesting concept. For me the anxiety comes from the fact that scripting is not enough, and there is a long history of painful consequences. I can make some scripting plans and they may help. However, the big problem is I am very poor at picking up what's going on in real time. After I fail to clue in, the script ends up leaving me with embarrassing results.

Task switching from thinking what I'm going to say to perceiving the social world is mostly a guaranteed fail. I've struggled so hard to do things I'm very poor at. I'm not *great* at physics and math, but if I study I can ace them. I studied people just as hard -- no, actually harder -- and it's nearly a complete fail. I did find another aspie freak to marry and be my friend, but generally I can't make friends and therefore I miss out on much knowledge and opportunity.

I usually have a similar experience with scripting...I think it is because when we script we plan on what "they" will say in the most ideal situations and not examining what could go wrong in the conversation. One thing I have learned is that most people are in it for themselves and to look at scripting from that point of view that the person you are potentally talking with is in this conversation for their own needs and will deny your point of view unless you manage to "get through to them". I think of people as in their own bubbles (worldview) and not much can penatrate these bubbles but if something does...it can get explosive like bursting a bubble (sorry for pun )

I have had some success scripting with that point of view...by success I mean, closer to how the conversation actually goes...although it still does not help my reaction of either playing dead or getting sword-tounged.

But try that Point of view.

No problem here with scripts, in fact they help to keep me calm. It's when real life suddenly changes and renders the script inadequate that I get upset.

well unless you are a nurse...you dont really need to know what a persons needs are if you dont know them well...sometimes when you try too hard to reach out to NT's they freak out and retreat. Usually you can determine alot about a person by asking a few questions that dont seem too intruding...unless of course you are trying to make friends with people just passing by.

But here we go

Ask the question...what are your interests?
that can tell you alot about a person if you know what to look for

a person with interests in computers and tech are usually logic minded and emotionally distant
A person interested in movies gets bored easily and has a short attention span
A person interested in animals is emotional and has a need to nurture others.
A person interested in their job: a) has an exciting job, b) has a need for achievement but can be willing to step on people to get where they want to go
A person interested in earth related things is usually independant while having a big picture thinking but misses the smaller picture of those in their imediate surroundings
A person who is interested in food is usually competitive with those around them.
A person who is interested in art is very creative and has a tendancy to think outside the normal parameters of life (the box) but some can be unpredictable.
A person interested in plants is also a very sensitive person and holds that all forms of life is sacred or at least needing respect.
A person interested in religion becomes that religion
A person interested in politics likes to argue, debate, and be right.
A person interested in gossip is likely to be unfaithful to people around them

That is pretty much it in the average NT interests.

I know some of that seems stereotyping...but at least it gets you in the ball park of how to relate with that person.

Jojo

Thanks for the info Jojobean.

No, I'm not a nurse. LOL!! I *was* in the psychological field though, but it was far too stressful.

I was asking you about "needs" in hopes to be able to figure out people's intentions or predict what they might do. When I talk to people, I'm not really getting much and rely mostly on verbal inconsistencies....and intonation.

Interesting...I had never heard the term "script anxiety" before, but I definitely have it. Amen to those who said that the trouble starts when the imagined conversation does not go as predicted when it comes to real life.

In my case, *speed* is a factor as well. It seems like real life flows at about 1.5 to 2 times the rate of my script. Many times, I can't keep up. One-on-one situations in a quiet room with someone I already know well work the best. I wish life came with a slo-mo button. Sometimes even frame-by-frame would be helpful. I hate it when the "fast people" get impatient with me and start acting like they think I'm not very bright.

I'm not clear on what this means. I know that time and time again (like, meaning most of the time) in my life I think conversating means having a deep truthful dialogue about honest experience and feelings and I am wrong about 95% of the time so I end up going "off script" without knowing it and end up feeling like I broke some unwritten rule, which everyone else seems pretty clear on.

I'm pretty sure I have script anxiety. I think about the things I can say to people, but their responses are not expected and I run out of things to say. In fact, I liken it to somebody throwing a ball to me, and instead of me catching the ball and throwing it back to them, the ball hits me in the face and I feel silly .

I still get confused when people provide information without telling me that a question is tacitly included. I was helping a lady once, and she must have told me her name five times before she said goodbye and crossed the street. The implied question was: "What's your name?"

Maybe a better term would be "script failure anxiety" ?