Asexuality

Post Reply New Topic

I've never been attracted to males. I used to wonder if I was a lesbian but then I wasn't attracted to females either. As young as four I made up my mind that I never wanted to have children let alone get married. I wanted to explore the world and having children would delay or even inhibit that. I hated other children even as a child. I hated it when overfriendly family friends would force their babies on me and eventualy I would just scream or even threaten to drop the baby. I could never see what was so "cute" about infants. They were just a minature verson of adults and were often loud and dirty. I couldn't look at an infant or toddler with food smeared all over their face with out feeling as if I would vomit. Yet most people seem to find that cute. I guess they find rotting, maggot infected carcasses adorable as well.

Other children would taunt and even physicaly hurt me whenever they had the chance. If I was in sight but an adult wasn't, no one could resist the urge to reach out and pull my hair or kick me. I learned to hate children even when I was one. As I child, my parents would force me to give hugs. I wouldn't kiss for nothing and if some stupid overly friendly person was dumb enough to plant one on me, I would smack them.

I remember watching two dogs mate and soon learned it was the same way with basicaly all animals and figured that included humans as well. I felt sick when I learned the process of intercourse. He's supposed to put his what in my where !?! I always found human beings weird and strange but when I found out that women actualy enjoy this, I was dumbfounded. The male animal usualy has to bite the female's head to keep her from escaping. I've seen pictures of various species mating and the females usualy seem so unhappy and have the same expression as an animal that was hit by a car or severly injured. Plus it just seems so dirty and unclean.

I don't like people touching me with their hands so I deffinatly do not want someone shoving the same parts they use to go to the bathroom with into me. Most so called asexuals are really hetrosexual celibates as they feel something for the other and engage in hugging and kissing. I find the act of hugging and kissing another human being just as repulsive as intercourse. I don't even like the idea of being emotionaly connected with another human being. I've only had one crush but the man I had it on was zoologist that studdied my special intrest and he appeared to have some AS traits (he's even admitted he wonders if he could have AS) but I know if we engaged in a relationship it would be a disaster. No one would to be in a relationship where they were banned from touching their partner. If he so much as went to hold my hand, I would react as if I was raped. I've never been attracted to other humans physicaly, in fact the human form repulses me. I am happy being asexual.

To each their own. It seems that many aspies are asexual, and at least from the post count, most of them seem to be females. Personally I am the opposite, which causes it's own problems. I am hypersexual, my drive would put most 16 year old boys to shame. I don't think either of us are right or wrong, as long as we find our happiness with our own path.

I kind identify with many of your feelings, PunkyKat. I'm not very fond of young children, though I'm not opposed to the smart ones when they're of reasonable age. You said something rather incorrect though: "Most so called asexuals are really heterosexual celibates as they feel something for the other and engage in hugging and kissing."

One who is "celibate" voluntarily chooses not to have sex, usually for moral or religious reasons, while an asexual does not have a desire for sex. Asexuals can still be romantically attracted to either sex, on an emotional level, but they don't feel the carnal urge for intercourse.

(On a queer side note, according to my browser's dictionary "asexual" is a word but "asexuals" isn't. "Homosexuals" is a word, though...)

I have always liked babies and children. Even though they were mean to me growing up (not babies of course) but I am not all that into sex but I have to have it. I hear lot of women have low sex drives but they have it anyway to please their men. They have high sex drives so they make it a must.

Yeah, me too. Which works SOOOOO well when I don't have the ability to navigate life well enough to find a suitable partner

I find babies of a lot of other species cuter than humans (SHOCKING!)

And Punkykat, not that this is going to change how you're wired (and there's nothing wrong with it), but sex is pleasurable for both sexes in more than just humans...it varies from species to species. Plus humans can spend longer at it and...uh..make sure everyone's enjoying themselves

I am asexual, I have no desire to have sex with anybody.

But I still find myself in long-term relationships, usually with NT's, who want and expect sexuality. So I end up doing something I really have zero desire to do, as a trade off for the love, affection, devotion, and stability of a long term relationship.

I skip it as often as I can get away with though.

I can relate to you on that one. It just seems so unhygenic and so invading. Sometimes I think my thoughts about sexuality are irrational but like you, I'm happy being asexual.

I'm also asexual. I was never interested in the opposite gender, or either gender. I could be single for the rest of my life, and it wouldn't bother me.

Not wanting sex and not wanting children are two perfectly acceptable feelings in my opinion. I do not think that anyone who does not want either or both should ever be made to do so. That being said, the level of utter disgust that you feel for both coupled with the anger you seem to have in connection with them lead me to suggest counseling.

Not to change your mind, as I said I think that is just natural for some people to not want those things, but to deal with the underlying issues you have clearly have with the topics.

without sounding like a total perv I very much enjoy sex and am totally fascinated with it and the female body (maybe one of my abnormal obsessions). Every woman I've been with was a special experience in its own way. Though I agree in that if I focus on the actual biological parts involved, and the details, most unsavory

It annoys me when people see Aspies as asexual. Maybe some of them are, but not all. It's the same truth as "all Aspies have black hair"

I am DEFINITELY not asexual but unfortunately single. I'd gladly give most of my needs to someone in relationship who always has a headache
It's such a Aspie thing - wants but don't know what to do

I have no interest in sex; but I would like to be a foster parent someday. Maybe I'll find another asexual to marry (it wouldn't be fair to marry a non-asexual), and we'll raise foster kids together. I know I'm not ready for romance now; I'm not even ready for a roommate, which is a much more distant relationship than platonic love would be. I may never be ready. Kissing disgusts me; hugging feels awkward. For me, a "romantic relationship" would be more like a close friendship. Gender wouldn't matter. Nor would the number of people in the household, though more than one other person could get complicated. They'd just have to be asexuals, because while some asexual people can have sex for the sake of friendship, I'm not one of them.

I guess my particular breed of asexuality blends love and friendship. I don't make much of a distinction between the two; I love my friends, when I have them, much the same way I think I might one day love the person I married. The only difference is that when I have friends who are not asexual (which has been all of them, so far), I have to remember that they consider sexually-oriented love to be more important than friendship, and step back when they find someone they love that way. It's not a sad thing because it means seeing them very happy; and, like I said, I am not ready for romance.

I'm not asexual. I do have significant sensory integration dysfunction and get "overloaded" with touch easily, but I do enjoy sex, when I'm not overloaded with (usually physical/sensory, but sometimes emotional) stimuli. I'm only starting to understand that this is why I've had so much trouble with sexuality, even though I vividly remember cutting tags out of clothing, hating wool sweaters, being driven nuts by tight waistbands, not being a real "huggy" kid, etc. I never put the two together until recently.

~Kate

Oooo - dont think that because you dont do sex you will never have a partner - i've been with my wonderful partner for over 10 years now, and sex simply does not register in our relationship - its way more about being kind to each other, forgiving each others quirks and slipups, and sharing each others interests....

I guess i'm one of the lucky ones huh? Like some of you lot - i can't stand being "manhandled" - sex has always seemed to me to be extremely violent - all that pushing and shoving and invading and pounding

I feel the same way you do. People used to tease me horribly about it, calling me lesbian and stuff. One guy in my class said he would rape me, as well. I've tried reading about sex a lot to see if that would spark a bit of...interest, but no. I just...feel nothing.

I don't want to be married or have kids. I never did. Possibly the only thing was just that I wanted to wear a white dress, and have a cake and all that. But a wedding only lasts a couple of hours, and plus, you have to have a party with many people there. But I never wanted a husband or children, either. I don't really like children. Plus, they're expensive!

Though, I've read that a queen cries possibly because it is pleasure. Of course, I suppose no one knows if that's true, but I've read that's a possibility. That's why the tom scruffs her. Not just so she won't get away, but because some queens turn to the tom, hissing and spitting. I've always wanted to see animials mate, though. Especially cats. I read a lot about them, and that's something that just about always pops up in my books. Feline courtship and mating. And then, of course, the queen gestating, queening, and looking after her kittens. Kitties make good mothers.

I dislike and feel repulsed at the thought of someone touching me. I mean, it's disgusting, even a kiss. I couldn't believe it when we learned it in school. I was like 'that's IMPOSSIBLE!'. I couldn't believe my eyes reading it. And it seems so...pointless. I see no reason to subject myself to a time wasting and unpleasant experience. There are many things I could be doing with that time, and investing it in something enjoyable. You never know what people could be carrying, for one. It seems like something very uncontrollable, too. It's not hard. I don't understand why if you are in a relationship you must do that. It would be perfectly fine if you did marry, but not touch each other. I just don't see what point it is.

That is one of the reasons I am happy to be an asexual. And I am not at risk for STDs, and unwanted pregnancies. And I can proudly say what most people my age can't say. At my age, I'm still a virgin.

I think ASD people might be more likely to be asexual. My mum reckons we develop sexuality later, which sounds totally plausible as it's basically a social thing and we develop all other social stuff late.

I rarely feel attracted to anyone. I don't want a romantic relationship, or to have sex with anyone. I'm not properly asexual though as I have had crushes and do find some people attractive and I do have sexual thoughts/feelings. I wish I were totally asexual - to me sexual and romantic feelings just seem to cause people trouble! I would have massive trouble with all the social effort one needs to have a romantic relationship and I don't like the idea of kissing - it frightens me, I don't know how to do it and I don't imagine it would feel good. Someone tried to kiss me once and I froze and moved away.

I have no desire to breed which is a good thing as I'm sure I'd be a terrible parent. And I don't think babies are cute usually. Some are, when they're clean and happy. Toddlers are quite sweet. I also don't understand people's need to have a child that's theirs biologically. To me, a baby is a baby, and I think all those women who have IVF should just adopt a kid. But I understand they don't want to do that, and the evolutionary reasons behind wanting your OWN kids, but I don't understand how this expresses itself in women's thoughts and feelings.