Should I feel about this?
So a few days ago at work, a coworker and I were outside taking a smoke break(I know I should quit. "Maybe someday," he said doubtfully). During our conversation she asked if I had Aspergers, as her nefew has it and she observed some Aspie traits in me. I responded by telling her that I do.
Everything is good at work, but I've experienced two things since then that have slightly put me off: firstly, I've noticed my regular coworkers seem to act differently around me. Not negatively, but more subtle manerisms to accomidate my Aspergers(it's a nice gesture, but I'd rather not be given any special le-way or accomodations). And number two: I feel like I lied to the cowerker that initially asked me if I was an Aspie, because even though I'm in the process of being officially diagnosed, have gotten confirmation from my mother that she strongly bblieves I have it based on how I acted when growing up and have most definitely done my homework on the subject and am confident in my self diagnosis, I don't yet have an official diagnosis.
I guess my questions are, have people treated you differently when they found out that you were on the spectrum, and was I right to tell my coworker?
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"The only way to live in an un-free world is to become so absolutely free that your very existance is an act of rebelian." - Albert Camus
It happened when I was diagnosed. I was only 8 years old, but as soon as I got my diagnosis my teacher must have told the whole class about it when I wasn't there, probably thinking that it might educate kids about these things. But it just made things worse. Before I got my diagnosis, I didn't really feel different to the other kids, and they were just as friendly to me as what they were to each other. But as soon as word got around about my diagnosis, most of the other kids seemed afraid of me, as though they thought AS was a contagious disease or something. And as teenagers they seemed to be embarrassed to be around me. It's like the label I had was what defined me, instead of the person I really was. Also I was seen as 'The Special Needs Kid' in the class, or 'The Kid With Something Wrong'.
And that concludes why I hated my diagnosis from the day I was diagnosed to this day.
I still prefer not to tell anybody about my AS, and lucky for me I can hide it, even to people who have more knowledge about it. I mean I don't have a special subject I only talk about, I can engage in small talk and other conversation, I make appropriate eye contact, I am expressionful (if that's a word?), I don't stim or have any other unusual movements, I can catch on to people's moods and motives, and I can understand jokes and stuff like that. I know some parts of me might be odd but not obvious enough to give AS away. I'm just seen as a sensitive, quiet, polite person with anxiety.
But people seem to guess my ADHD though. But when people know you have ADHD, they don't seem to act different around you like they do when they find out you have ASD. I don't know why that is.
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Female
Never officially made it known to my job.
Did confide it to one person once when we were yakking on a break (when we were gossiping about everyone else including about other aspies). It might have gotten around, or not. The current DM I am under is actually pretty nice to me. Maybe the person I confided it to told him and hes being more accomidating. But I sorta doubt that. Actually that's food for thought.
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