a cool calm-down trick my therapist taught me last week

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This also works to get me back into the present instead of becoming upset about the past or worrying about the future. It's called "See, Hear, Feel."

First, get into a physically comfortable position wherever you happen to be.

Next, very slowly say out loud (you can just say it in your head if other people are around) five things that you see. For example, I can say right now: I see my coffee cup... I see my computer... I see a cat...I see a clock...I see my backpack.

Then do the same thing with what you hear. I hear the furnace...I hear a cat messing around...I hear a clock ticking...I hear the sound of my own voice...I hear a car outside.

Finally, do the same thing with your sense of touch. I feel my butt in the chair...I feel the blanket in my lap...I feel the air from the furnace...I feel my glasses on my nose...I feel my foot tucked underneath me.

If you have less than five things, it's OK to say the same one more than once.

Repeat until the desired level of calm is achieved.

That's pretty neat. It's a way of grounding yourself I guess. I'm wondering how you pull off the time it takes to do this when you're upset because someone is up in your face.

this.
I am interested in how this is going to happen when in the middle of having to deal with what is going on.

It is rare I am melting down by sitting at my computer with my cat, and more likely I am at work being in a closed door meeting with my boss and her boss explaining why I pushed back against constructive criticism about a report I was tasked to do by someone I didn't recognize as a instructor we had for an hour three weeks earlier.

Doesn't help when you're in sensory overload. When that happens, you have to pull away from your sensory input if you can.

Oops..I should have clarified, and I apologize. This works best for situations like fear of a situation where you are worrying you might have difficulties, or for after a situation where a conversation or event didn't go well and you are trying to keep from beating yourself up.

For example, if you are sitting at the computer with your cat and you begin ruminating about that horrible meeting and you can feel the downward spiral starting. Or if you are trying to get dressed for, or are on your way to, an unavoidable event where you know you are going to experience sensory overload. Even during a rough time, if you can excuse yourself and head to the restroom or a quiet area ASAP, it can help. I run into all those situations almost 24/7.

Granted, it's not a panacea, but anything I can do at this point to keep my act halfway together is a blessing. Just thought sharing it might be helpful to somebody else as well.

TOTALLY agree with Callista on getting away from the sensory input if at all possible when overloaded!!

I was wondering about that. It seems like something that would be very useful in some situations, not so much in others. Last night, for instance, I had people talking all around me at once while I was driving. It got to the point that their voices were like nails on a chalkboard to me. If I had tried to concentrate on what I could hear, I wouldn't have made it home, at least not with my passengers. However, in a situation when someone is stressing out about a busy workload, etc., it sounds like it would be very effective.

That sounds similar to many work situations I have found myself in over the years. Scenarios like that are such painful experiences. My heart goes out to you.

Oh my God, this happens to me ALL the time. I try doodling without success. Am not allowed (because of social rules) to play with any calming toys. I am going to try her method, but as you imply, it would be hard in a small meeting.

How on earth do they expect you to remember someone from a one-hour meeting so long ago? If someone can do that, they must have an exceptional memory for faces. I have students that I see for longer than that every week, and by the end of the semester I still won't recognize most of them in the halls.

Sorry to hear about the problems at work.

Congratulations, you are now doing basic meditation.

thanks, PSChristmas. I was one of those people that wasn't cut throughout all the downsizing of the last 18 months and frankly I am getting pretty tired of 'being grateful I have a job at all' stuff. If it was play time, and fun, then they wouldn't call it work, I guess. I am just bored to tears, mostly. Havent had a vacation from the day to day for . . well, since I started four years ago in May. ( grumble, grumble, gripe, gripe .)

hence, my sig. line

Thanks for posting this! I'll try it out next time I feel a meltdown coming on.

I'll try this next time I start panicking about the future

My therapist taught me a relaxation technique. It doesn't work as well when I'm really panicking because I usually can't concentrate, but if I do it frequently I'm less likely to get upset/scared, and it's useful if I'm starting to get stressed.

The relaxation technique I was taught:

(You can shut your eyes if it helps but you don't have to) Focus on your right hand - just think about what you can feel in that hand ie. the weight of that hand, the temperature, anything that it's touching, the stiffness of the joints etc. I can sometimes feel the blood flowing through it. Once you are really focused on that hand and not paying much attention at all to anything else, focus on your left hand in the same way. Again, once you get really focused, repeat this process of focusing and moving on to the next once you're really focused for your right foot, your left foot, your right knee, left knee, right elbow, left elbow, right shoulder, left shoulder, top of your head, tip of your nose, centre of your chest (although I usually leave out this one as it makes me aware of my heartbeat and breathing which freaks me out) and then go back to your right hand. My therapist also told me to do the hands and feet slowly and the rest of the body more quickly, but this means that I'm less focused on those parts of the body but it takes less time, I suppose.

Another form of progressive muscular relaxation (PMR) that I have found effective is to tense each muscle as hard as you can, count to five and release, then move on to the next one.

riverspark's grounding technique is really useful, thankyou for sharing it.

Seems like a way to progress sensory overload.

OMG I see exactly the same things as you. XD;; (I guess they're pretty common things though, heh..)
That sounds like a good exercise! Because it's distracting I guess. :3 I have been pinching my skin (really hard) to distract myself (like when I'm gonna cry) but this sounds like a less bad method, heh.;;;
Except mine works in the middle of a conversation, but this one would make it hard to keep track of what is being talked about.. But I'll try it when I'm not talking to anyone. :3