Constant misunderstandings

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I always get nervous when I talk to people on the phone and especially when they are important conversations. I tend to misunderstand what they say/forget what they say, so when I relay it to someone else, it's not always the correct message. Does this happen to you guys often? Do you "lose" important information or just not get the info right?? Maybe it's just me...

You are not alone there... I get that all the time when I'm on the phone and I can't stand phone conversations at all.
If it was important, sometimes I have to ask them to repeat twice for me to understand it.

It's definitely not you, I think you'll find most people have this problem.

This problem only occurs to me when I'm really nervous or just anxious about something.

I forget to pass on the message altogether.

Oh dear - you aren't going to do well in this world if you get nervous at the telephone ....

Trust me ... I know this from experience.

Go and do some classes to boost your phone skills!

Do you write down the messages you take? I've learned to do it. All I need is a name, phone number, and reason they called. Repeat it back to them to make sure it's right. That's all.

I forget important information if I don't write it down. I understand what you're talking about.

EDIT: This is extremely important advice for taking messages and getting them right. It's what I forget to do sometimes (and I'm so nervous asking someone to repeat their name 3+ times). Please follow this step when necessary:

Last edited by sketches on 09 Mar 2010, 5:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IMHO That most likely won't solve the whole problem, because it has little to do with phone skills, it's an anxiety and processing problem. When you get too nervous about what you're going to say or how you're going to come off to the other person, or whether you're going to remember everything correctly, your brain can't shove all the data through the processing funnel fast enough to retain it in the database. If you're also preoccupied with whether you're responding to the other person appropriately, you may be trying to formulate an answer to a question that hasn't been asked yet and while you're thinking about that, other information slips past you and gets lost. Been there, done that. My advice: Take notes and don't be afraid to ask someone to repeat information, even at the risk of sounding stupid. When they give you an address or a phone number, REPEAT IT ALOUD so they can correct you if you've transcribed it wrong.

When I was answering Request Lines, chatting up Groupies and giving away prizes, I was in control, familiar with the routine and supremely confident. But when I have to call a stranger and ask for help or a favor or make some formal arrangement, I fall to pieces and become a stammering idiot. Post-It Notes are your friend.

I try to do this too. It doesn't always work out though. Sometimes I think I can remember more than I actually can. So if it's a simple "electrician called for mum, wants a call back about coming over on a thursday morning' I will assume I'll remember it and I'll either forget half of that message or all of it. I may even forget about the whole phone call.

Oh wow yes I have this issue too.

Anyone else find that if you're not alone in a room and you're on the phone, any sound in the room can be a potential distraction that makes the voice on the phone unintelligible?

People think I'm strange because I need the silence, but as soon as anyone says anything in the room, even in a whisper, I miss what's being said on the phone.

I wouldn't say I'm unable to communicate on the phone at all but I certainly stress about it and it's very hard work.

This is particularly embarassing when I answer my mobile in public and keep asking people to repeat what they're saying over and over.

Last edited by IMForeman on 09 Mar 2010, 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's me exactly.

I have the problem of misunderstanding what people say, like taking it too literally or just not understand what they mean. My step dad says that I always "get the wrong end of the stick", which means that I often misinterpret what was said to me. When someone talks to me on the phone it's even worse because they tend to not explain things and I don't know which information is important and which I don't need to remember. Usually I'm so focused on trying to decide that I forget what was said entirely.

I have found that my constant requests for repetition irritate people to the point where they say "Nevermind," and send me a text message instead.
I have to explain to the few people who call me that I will probably misunderstand verbal communications. I ask them to send text messages because it helps my comprehension, and enables me to reference the information later.

Definitely! I was actually wondering if something was wrong with my hearing as everyone else seems to be able to hear on their mobile phones whilst on a busy street, whilst I can barely hear a thing. I must admit this has gotten better with my new phone that allows me to increase the volume but it is still a problem.

Do you have a hidden camera in my house

Sounds like me with my wife

Yes, I find I have this inability to say much if others are sitting near me. Like if I'm sitting on the train, or sitting with people. I don't want them to hear what I am saying. I usually walk away from them if I can. Obviously I can't do that on a train.

This is actually a big problem that I have and 1 of the main reasons that I identify with Aspergers.

The actual symptom is called "Auditory Proscessing disorder". It's a problem comprehending sounds even though your hear them fine. Sometimes I question whether I actually have AS or simple social anxiety brought up because of this disorder.

You can read about it on wiki.

APD is often co-morbid with AS. I hear words but take longer to understand what they mean. It could also be my poor short term memory and concentration difficulties.

edit: I also think 'constant misunderstandings' would make a good name for a band.