Sometimes I'm loud and hyper, sometimes i'm quiet and shy.

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radiohead234
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10 Mar 2010, 2:02 pm

Sometimes I'm loud and hyper around my close friends/family, or when I'm in my house alone, but sometimes I'm really shy and quiet when I',m around people I don't know that well.



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10 Mar 2010, 2:05 pm

I'm like that as well, depending on the social situation that I'm in.


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Moony
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10 Mar 2010, 3:08 pm

That's me.


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Jingo8
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10 Mar 2010, 3:15 pm

That would be fairly standard aspie behaviour (actually normal for NT's too, just less obvious).

Usually it's about being relaxed and feeling safe to "be yourself" or act without planning and thinking about it, rather than when in public or around people you don't know when you feel the need to be guarded, cautious, think things through or are just working so hard to focus/keep up/not cry or run away that you don't have time to respond and be outgoing.



skonamis
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10 Mar 2010, 3:25 pm

Quite same. I guess it depends on the situation. Sometimes i am hyper, brave and childlike near friends. With strangers i talk very little or become mute. I am also extremely shy.



superboyian
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10 Mar 2010, 4:45 pm

radiohead234 wrote:
Sometimes I'm loud and hyper around my close friends/family, or when I'm in my house alone, but sometimes I'm really shy and quiet when I',m around people I don't know that well.


That sounds so much like me indeed... :lol: Well welcome to my club radiohead234, you are now officially cool. 8)
It happens to many people but I don't see what is wrong with that?


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dustintorch
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10 Mar 2010, 5:15 pm

yeah me too



KalisAvos
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10 Mar 2010, 5:40 pm

I know exactly how that works. As a matter of fact, when certain people, or people I don't know enter a room when I was talking how I usually talk (well outspoken and a bit loud), I get really quiet and shy, and even start to feel sad. My cousin one time told me that when I talk alone with her and a few others, I become a fiery speaker, but when a place gets too crowded, I almost literally disappear. She related it to a small child getting swept by a strong current when he strays too far into the stream. Actually, it took me a while to understand what she meant, but now I get it.


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10 Mar 2010, 6:58 pm

Yeah, I can kind of relate. At home I can talk a lot more comfortably. I wouldn't say I was loud or hyper. I do get hyper though, but that's just what happens when I'm bored or over excited.
It does take me time to get used to people. I'm still fairly quiet and reserved at work, but with my friends I can talk a bit more easily and often become arrogant.


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Gigi830
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10 Mar 2010, 7:36 pm

Jingo8 wrote:
That would be fairly standard aspie behaviour (actually normal for NT's too, just less obvious).


good to know. I am totally like this. People seem to think I am "extroverted" because I can sometimes be really loud and over the top. What they don't realize is that I am extremely confused about what to do/say and it makes me incredibly anxious. Which then causes nervous talking (about whatever pops into my head actually).On a good day it comes off as "charmingly kooky" and random but on a bad day (most in fact :P ) I seem strange, like I am trying too hard, or even being rude (although I am not really since the intention to be is usually not there) :oops:

Good to know that I'm not the only one.


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Notsurprised
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11 Mar 2010, 2:56 am

Oh yes spend lots of energy going around the house saying stupid little sayings
stupid little take offs from somthing I have heard on TV, repeat repeat repeat.
Totally different in other places.



ellenelizabeth
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11 Mar 2010, 5:50 am

that's exactly like me!



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11 Mar 2010, 11:36 am

Guilty again.

I don't seem able to occupy the middle ground between stony silence and talking the back legs off a donkey.

As for what's wrong with it, I think that most people have problems dealing with silent people and with chatterboxes. The silent ones make themselves impossible to get to know, so they get overlooked. The chattery ones talk so much that people have little choice but to shut down and make a mental note to avoid the chatter monster in future.

I do slightly better when the other person has the social skills to get me talking and to gently shut me up. I feel sorry for non-assertive people who meet me, because once I know I'm "safe," I can't seem to stop myself from rattling on and on and on.....I think "if I were you, mate, I'd slap me."

I used to think I was just sick of self-love, but I guess if it was that, then I wouldn't feel so terrible about it, and I'd get upset when the listener tried to moderate my blathering, but these days I can feel quite grateful when they do that.

Sometimes I can get somewhere near the ideal 50-50 kind of conversation, but progress is slow. It's more than just a knack that comes natural once it's been done right once. Kind of frustrating because on the rare occasions I get it right, I get a glimpse of how all human relationships ought to be, and it's loads better than my usual style. Then I just collapse back into the usual all-or-nothing mode. :cry:



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11 Mar 2010, 3:04 pm

Yep! I'm always at one extreme or another. Sometimes it can go from one side to the other and back in a matter of minutes depending on who is around or what people around me are talking about. I don't know how to get to the normal medium area. This results in me being seen as either "too quiet" or "rude," so i can't win either way really.



tonmeister
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11 Mar 2010, 3:30 pm

Yup, that's me.



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11 Mar 2010, 3:55 pm

skonamis wrote:
Quite same. I guess it depends on the situation. Sometimes i am hyper, brave and childlike near friends. With strangers i talk very little or become mute. I am also extremely shy.


I don't have that difference re whether the person I'm talking to is a friend or stranger. For me, the difference is more the topic: when I'm engaged in a special interest, I'm hyper and loud, but when I'm conversing about something else, I don't say much. Now I don't talk about my special interests a lot unless asked either.