ASgirl wrote:
She was so concerned at one point that she made me join the Brownie (girl scout for younger children).
My mother recently confessed to me that that was why she insisted that I join Cub Scouts as a kid (probably also why my folks pushed me to play Little League Baseball even though I hated it). But by her own admission, even when she dragged me to the meetings and group activities, I'd end up in a corner doing my own thing while everyone else participated. In Little League, I got hit by the ball more often that the ball got hit by me. I think 'walking' was the only way I ever got on base.
They always pushed me to do things for myself, sometimes it took and sometimes it didn't. When it didn't, I would just do without whatever it was I needed, rather than ask for help and admit to weakness. And that's just how I am to this day. I'll gratefully accept help if its offered, but I can't bring myself to ask for it. Lately its a problem because there are several public assistance programs I need to sign up for but I'm overwhelmed by the idea of facing the bureaucratic drones and the questions and the paperwork, but the closest thing to assistance I've been offered is a ride to the government offices. I can drive myself, dammit, I need help with the
process.