aspergers/autism on the outside vs. the inside

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could someone tell me how someone with aspergers would appear on the outside vs. the struggles they have on the inside?

i'm thinking alot of people are misunderstood for this reason, bc they may appear to be normal (or maybe don't but people don't recognize it and aren't knowledgeable about autism/asp), is that not the case?

I'm not sure I understand your question.

On the inside, there are issues with things like Theory of Mind

On the outside, the issues with Theory of Mind are manifested in awkward (and sometimes debilitating) social skills.

i have the most awful time communicating.
i guess i meant something like could someone appear normal on the outside, or blend in somehow, but the struggles on the inside are unseen? i'm asking because of myself of course, because i guess i've been able to blend in so far in life because people in the outside world haven't said anything to me (yet i'm sure i've got to seem awkward)....i wouldn't expect or think it's normal for other people to just go around telling people "hey i think something or such and such is wrong with you". i think that would actually help.

other people close to me in my life have told me all sorts of things like the apparent typical "you're selfish, you only want to see things your way, it's your way or the highway, you aren't understanding, you aren't listening, you're naive/gullible, you're like an airhead, wow you're into the details", etc. it's not that i don't want to understand, i just can't, i don't get it. i try, by asking them questions. i have to be told directly. if i try to figure something out on my own i'm at a loss, maybe when it just comes to people or how things work in the social world - how it's organized, so as to get things done.

.....yet because on the inside i struggle so much, people don't seem to see it. i struggle with ocd/routines - i have to create them in order to help me function, yet i can get stuck in them, hyperfocus/concentration issues - i have to be alone in order to do things and if i'm interrupted i'm irritable, anxiety with interaction with people and social situations (unless i'm comfortable with them and the social rules are very relaxed or non-existent), and many more things that i have trouble putting into words. professionals in the outside world haven't said anything to me about this - except about anxiety. that's it. and it seems they think it's just anxiety, because that's all they say. sociology was an eye-opening class for me, but i haven't retained everything. a thought disorder. adjustment disorder. anxiety disorder. i don't get why they don't put two and two together. they seem stupid to me. i know that's blunt but to me it's just truth and i hate social niceties at times if they don't have anything to do with it.

i don't even understand things fully, like theory of mind. i think i understand the general idea, that you have a hard time understanding what others might be thinking. i just can't express my understanding of it very well, like everything else.

Heck yeah. You can't tell by looking at me that I have some serious difficulties communicating. I suppose if you catch be rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet you might have a clue that I'm differerent



There's 2 things going on here. One is that autism really is on the inside and doesn't necessarily make itself obvious to the casual observer. The other is that people don't normally point out things like that. Even with an obvious disability, such as a missing leg, it is bad form to bring it up. So people may or may not notice and even if they do, the social rule is don't ask about a person's 'special problem'.



People that are close to you have a different set of rules about what they can and can't say. That's part of being close to people. A good friend will feel more freedom in being truthful.



Welcome to my world. My inner state is far different from what people perceive. But this may not be so strange. I don't believe people know much of each others true internal states. NTs might be better at figuring it out, but the still are not able to really step inside another's head.



Nobody fully understands anything. Everything is an approximation.

[img][800:1056]http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/6549/autconceptchart.png[/img]

http://www.existenceiswonderful.com/200 ... utism.html