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Philologos
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14 Mar 2010, 12:55 am

It always puzzled me. You are supposed to feel so out of it in a foreign culture, totally handicapped from not knowing the language well or even at all, not knowing cultural expectations, how to wave goodbye, missing the point of all the jokes.

I have spent serious time in about 7 countries and dealt extensively with people from some others. Never experienced culture shock as you are supposed to. It was the opposite.

At home, I missed the jokes, did not know the rules, misinterpreted the language, talked funny. And everyone thought there was something wrong with me, seriously rejected me or more. And I felt alone, WRONG.

In Ruritania, I missed stuff and talked funny, but hey - he is just an American. Nobody singled me out, people explained stuff to me and helped me communicate. And some of the local ways made more sense than the ones here.



Odin
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14 Mar 2010, 1:07 am

Supposedly this is a very common opinion of autistics who visit other parts of the world, their social deficits were waved away by the locals as simply because the person is not from there.


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Brennan
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14 Mar 2010, 1:19 am

I have never felt culture shock from being in a different culture. I always find it a lot of fun discovering how a culture works. I wonder if that is because I spend most of my time in my own culture trying to work out how it works rather than knowing it instinctually.



StuartN
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14 Mar 2010, 4:53 pm

Philologos wrote:
At home, I missed the jokes, did not know the rules, misinterpreted the language, talked funny. And everyone thought there was something wrong with me, seriously rejected me or more. And I felt alone, WRONG.


Wow, this is so like my experiences. I find things easier in foreign countries than at home. I always felt very left out in my own country, and presently feel very left out living in a country that is very similar (same language, culture, religion, TV).

I think people have expectations of familiar nationalities that can be hard to match, but there aren't the same expectations of the foreigner, so I don't mess up.

I find my in-laws (different language, culture, religion, TV) much easier and more interesting to talk with. Perhaps because there isn't the small talk and a foreigner might almost be expected to be blunt to the point of rudeness if something takes my interest.



AnnaLemma
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14 Mar 2010, 5:41 pm

As mentioned, I think it has to do with expectations (everyone's) and flexibility. I had never lived outside the region of my birth, but never gave culture shock a thought (since I had traveled to Asia and Europe and fit in just fine) till I spent some time in my in-laws' town, several thousand miles away. There lawncare is a religion, no one ever recycled anything (Commie plot,y'know), and everything edible is smothered in butter. I suffered culture shock and was a little ashamed at my own intolerance, but figured that everyone has buttons. If they never get pushed, you may not know you have them. At least the in-laws chalked up my quirks to being "Californian".


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CockneyRebel
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14 Mar 2010, 6:07 pm

I used to go to the United States with my family, a lot before 911. I've found that Americans were very polite to me. They were more polite, than any Canadian ever was. They even talked to me. I'd love to go back down there, and if I save the pennies that I can, I can get a passport and do that.


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zombiecide
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14 Mar 2010, 6:14 pm

I love how I always can say 'Sorry, in my home country things are handled in a different way and I didn't know ...'
I love how easy it is to ask about things I don't get, because I have a 'reason' that I don't get them.
I love it how helpful people are, at least where I am now they go out of their way to make communication happen, and seem to be happy with it because they see me making an effort with their language and culture. =D


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ursaminor
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14 Mar 2010, 7:09 pm

I would like to go to Scandinavia.
I heard people are pretty paranoid about others.
Like me.
Although, now that I see the words, it seems a bit of an odd choice, perhaps.

More research on the subject may be necessary.



UrchinStar47
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15 Mar 2010, 1:28 pm

Now that you mention it, I had the best time in my home town where I lived most of my life when people thought I was foreign. :lol: They were very surprised to learn that I was not.



League_Girl
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15 Mar 2010, 1:41 pm

When mom and I went to the UK, she was shocked what their customs were. She watched them and observed their behavior and saw it was different than our home country.

One thing I learned was in every hotel room, there is tea. Here it's all coffee. Also their driving rules were different. My mom figured out towards the end of our trip that when you pass, you can hug the car that is next to you as you pass as there is another car coming towards you. That's what the arrows were for. We had been seeing cars do that. Also another thing I learned was when you are in the fast lane and going slow, cars behind you will not pass and then get back in the fast lane. We were both wondering why were they all behind us. Then when mom moved over in the next lane, the men behind us clapped and all the cars sped up and passed us. Here people would have just passed you even if you were in the fast lane going slow and then they go back in the lane again. It was like they were inflexible. Too inflexible to just pass us. Also it was so nice how there were hardly any commercials on TV. We have tons here and lot of us do hate commercials. But they come in handy when we are in the middle of something. We can do it during the commercials and then stop when the movie or show comes back on.

Also when we went to Paris, people were very friendly and helpful but in this one area, they were not friendly and we got all these looks because we were dressed casually and I was ignored when I tried to buy a cookie. The workers behind the counter acted like they didn't see me. All these people were all dressed up and mom and I were not.



bully_on_speed
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15 Mar 2010, 1:45 pm

culture shock is good sometimes. i went to temple over the weekend( need some hunikka education) i got to say jewish people are pretty cool with different people. very nice and they helped me thru alot. still americans though in their own little world it seems. refreshing



Lecks
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15 Mar 2010, 2:03 pm

bully_on_speed wrote:
culture shock is good sometimes. i went to temple over the weekend( need some hunikka education) i got to say jewish people are pretty cool with different people. very nice and they helped me thru alot. still americans though in their own little world it seems. refreshing

I'm sorry, Bully, but this is the third time I've seen you misspell "Hannukah" and I have to say something. :?



Irisrises
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16 Mar 2010, 8:29 am

Someone said to me once "you're never uncomfortable" and I said "no, I'm never COMFORTABLE". She came from a very different culture than me and she expected it to make me jittery. But I'm always navigating, it makes no difference. If anything the most uncomfortable I feel is crossing the mainsquare in my hometown, because I know that whatever I'm supposed to be doing, in those imaginary eyes, is not what I'm actually doing.

Then again I can usually put up a front there too.

Ah Irisrises, it's all real. Don't sweat it.



dt18
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16 Mar 2010, 8:54 am

I went to Poland for a month this last summer. I thought they were a lot friendlier than anyone I've met in America. People there seem to be nice, polite, mature, and very easy going type people. Compared to America, where most people are self centered and fast paced. I did experience a bit of a culture shock, mainly from being in a different country, but once I got used to it, I had a hard time wanting to come back to the States. I still miss Poland.



zombiecide
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16 Mar 2010, 10:38 am

League_Girl wrote:
Also another thing I learned was when you are in the fast lane and going slow, cars behind you will not pass and then get back in the fast lane. We were both wondering why were they all behind us. Then when mom moved over in the next lane, the men behind us clapped and all the cars sped up and passed us. Here people would have just passed you even if you were in the fast lane going slow and then they go back in the lane again. It was like they were inflexible. Too inflexible to just pass us.


Here in Spain, people would pass on the slow lane even though it might not be permitted. In Germany where I come from, passing on the slow lane is considered criminal behaviour that, if reported, will lead to you getting some negative points in out central driving management agency. Once you collect a certain number of such points, you will use your driving licence. As everybody is accustomed to people not passing on the slow lane, it means that we consider it very dangerous if somebody breaks this rule, and people are likely to report it. I would guess that in the UK it's similar.


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GreatCeleryStalk
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16 Mar 2010, 10:39 am

Visiting another country is nice. People will explain the unwritten social rules to you, because they assume that yours are different.

I'm much happier, socially, in England (well, Central London) than I am in the United States; I understand the rules better.