A possible good trait

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My roommate (and only friend) is undergoing an emotional ordeal; his younger brother was in an accident on Friday and even his survival was initially doubted; the outcome is good, and while some speech-related brain damage still seems likely, it is far better than initially expected. He has come out of coma and is responsive to his surroundings. We have been communicating via chat, from my roommate's laptop, and I've felt very unhelpful. His other friends' facebook posts seemed both emotional, cliche, and not particularly informative to me, while I have been the opposite. For example, when hearing that he feared his brother wouldn't recognize him, I assured him that, statistically, retrograde amnesia was extremely rare. I was correct, apparently. But this has been the tone of our exchange. Tonight, he sent me a message when I expressed my doubts about the benefit of communication with me (my mother told me to say what I did):

Me: sometimes I don't know what to say. I care that you are upset, and anything I can do, I will.


Jeff: I know aidan

you are the only person i have really been able to speak candidly with

everyone else is too emotional

it came it handy that you arent


So . . . we can be helpful! Joy.

It sounds like you did the right thing. Maybe it is because you have Aspergers or or maybe it's just because you are a decent friend. Whatever works.

I hope his brother comes out of it okay.

Lars

I can see how he doesn't like it when people are too overly emotional. Emotional people tend to worry a lot and not look at the facts.

It is one of the ways I have to be useful. Most of the time I am too unemotional for people who want emotion, though there are of course perople wgho don't care or who prefer it that way. But when people who know me have a ceertain level of emotional trouble, they do come to me.

i get people coming to me with emotional problems too. i think its because we can see things from a logical/rational point of view instead of an emotional one and provide more helpful advice in regards to helping them overcome their problems. when i was growing up my uncle would always say i was like a rock because no matter what the situation, nothing ever seemed to bother me. someone could be dying and i'd still greet everyone with a smile and listen to what they have to say. in all honestly i think i did that because i basically didnt feel any grief and saw no reason to be depressed. even when my aunt died almost a year ago, i never cried once. whenever any of my family members would cry around me, i would always try to point out that she was lucky to live as long as she did considering her condition, and even after she got sick she was never alone cuz she was always surrounded by loved ones. i've always tried to put a positive spin on things and i think people have noticed that so they naturally gravitate towards me when in need of support...i dont like it but its not in my nature to push someone away when they ask for help

i notice that when it comes to education advice i do get more people coming towards me. but it't not really on a term of equality though ... sigh ...

That is very good.
It is much better so say that statistically retrograde amnesia is rare than to say that you are very sorry (when you have done nothing) or comfort, without facts.

I have a similar experience, other way around. A neighbour of mine died a few weeks back and I was feeling down about it and I spoke about it to my friend (AS) and he was uncomfortable and eventually told me he never says the right things in these situations. I told him that no one does and that an honest answer feels so much better than "The good ones go first" and the "Its always so sudden" "Really makes you appreciate.." blabla, all the "Hallmark" phrases. Its too rehearsed.

Then it feels better to be confused and helpless with a friend.