Getting Pissed Cause I can't find a happy medium

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I'm just going to rant about an issue I have and can't find a mature solution too. Simply put, no matter how I dress I've got people commenting on my clothes/body. If I cover up too much I'm "hiding" or wear more feminine stuff I get more compliments/comments than I want (any comment is one too many for me). Since I realize their is no way I can act/dress to discourage comments, is their a way to discourage comments w/o changing how you generally look/act?

I used to hate comments too...yes, compliments too...a friend used to tell me "why can't you JUST say thank you?" sigh...It has gotten much better over time. There has to be a compromise. I no longer wear long baggy tshirts and jeans everyday...but I also don't wear skimpy clothes either...I wear comfortable stuff...ie. leggings & a long shirt, jeans and a simple V neck slightly fitted (not the square type, but not tight either) T, black cotton pants and a black simple shirt...since I live in the tropics, I have 5 strapless dresses that are all exactly the same style, all colors (well, all colors to me is brown, black, grey, silverish, etc...haha) and all very long almost down to my ankles...but depending on if I do my hair or not, if I wear make-up or not, I look a bit nicer and to me "stylish in a simple classic way" vs. trashy...

So my view is...if you like jeans, then instead of just plain jeans, get some nicer jeans...ie. instead of plain wranglers (hehe) get some dark jeans, instead of a plain white T, get a slightly fitted T but don't wear it tight, instead of sweats, wear leggings with something over it that covers your butt (hehe), instead of a slinky dress, wear a simple cotton or similar dress with a more simple cut...

I still hate compliments...even from my husband...It makes me feel weird...but I have learned to just ignore it and dress how I like to dress.

Good luck.

What would happen if you did just say "thank you" (or "thank you for your concern", if you want to make an honest point) and then ignore whatever they say? This is an issue about how you feel about your body, and how you feel about other people's attitudes to your body. The quicker you can accept and negate those feelings the better, so answer it and forget it.

It can feel annoying sometimes when you're surrounded by people who are preoccupied with your looks when you are not. It's like all those other seemingly mindless and meaningless things NTs get preoccupied with, like the personal lives of celebrities... It can get on your wick. One way out is to wear whatever you enjoy wearing at whatever given time and don't try to appease others when they tell you they approve/disapprove. If you follow their advice and start trying to please them all by wearing what they want, they'll see what you're doing and keep a running commentary forever! I mean, if you go to town and meet a friend and he/she says ___ would suit you better than that particular top, and you arrange to wear ___ next time you see him/her, then the friend will get hyped up about you taking their opinion so seriously and will expect it of you every time, and begin to try controlling what you wear in order to get you to look as they want you to look.

Wear what's best for you, and do say "thank you" for compliments just to be polite, and tell the complainers that you're happy wearing it and that that's what matters.

Must... resist... making joke... about contacting... spirits.

Nrrrrgh.

I'm one of those who didn't take comments well either.. if complimented I felt embarassed, and if it was negative I got annoyed...

It got to a point where I added a few more canned responses to my social "toolkit":

For compliments: flash a smile (takes concious effort but with practice it won't appear as forced) and "Oh, thanks!" Or something similar short and sweet. Possibly adding a "You too!" Depending on the compliment.

For negative remarks: about clothing I use a generic "Oh yeah, I didn't have time to change." or if I'm in bum comfort clothes "I'm working around the house today." If it's a family member and you are on your way out, sometimes "Yeah, I'm just bumming it today."

You can make your own set based on your more common situations, either way, try to keep them short and polite.

Good luck!

Rob

Hate compliments except for a very few that I believe are significantly deserved.


Hate comments on dress and appearance - unless i am doing something outrageous to enhance a defensive ofr offensive persona.

But I have to say, there is less concern with everybody else' appearance than thee was 50s and 6os. Like having someobne sidle up to me and hand me a barber's business card.