Why are differences bad?

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See title.
I can see how someone would not want to converse or interact with a person they find odd.
But I do not see why someone would actively try to humiliate or otherwise disturb such a person because they are different.
Maybe all bullies just have anti-social personality disorder.
I also do not understand why someone who is bullied by their own parents would carry out the bullying themselves, too.
It makes more sense not to, because you know how it feels and you do not like that.
Although it may just be an outlet.
But actually hitting people for no reason makes more sense.
Although that does happen a lot, it is again to those different people.
Maybe their behaviour simply agitates them.

Discuss.

I don't know that I understand it either, but I have a little insight into one thing you said:

I also do not understand why someone who is bullied by their own parents would carry out the bullying themselves, too.

My son was abused by his father. He would actually take it out on his little sister. He did know how it felt. His reasoning was that it was unfair that only HE should get to feel it and someone else should have to. It was also how he was taught to deal with anger-- to hit and to be mean. NO, this isn't right. But everyone deals with abuse differently. Some people are beaten down into nothing. Some will fight back with everything they have. I believe that most people that bully do so out of ignorance, intolerance, and pain.

Misery loves company.
They are miserable and do not like seeing others happy, so they inflict harm to the weaker individuals in an attempt to transfer some of the pain they feel.

There are many causes for bullying, none of which are rational.

Thing about bullying is it's a strand of behavior that has been passed down from generation to generation. Not sure when it started but you can imagine back 2 million years some poor little mammal cowering on the edge of it's pack covered in bites and scratches for breaking some hierarchy reinforcing rule it didn't get, or just be smaller than the rest.

Well, hopefully as we all become educated, new generations of parents can stop these trends! I know my grandparents (and even parents) used to talk about other people in front of me - racial slurs for example. It definitely has an impact, especially when you are young. I will do better for my kids.

I think that some people try and justify the way that they were treated by treating others the same way.

I know a family who when the father and mother were dating back in the 80s, her parents were really strict (also quite abusive) and she was not allowed to spend time with her boyfriend on her own, they always had to be chaperoned. They went into town the day before their wedding on the bus to buy something for the wedding by themselves and she got beaten with a leather belt when she came home because her Dad said that they had been up to something they shouldn't.

Now you would think that now they are grown up and their eldest son has started dating that they would be kind and lenient with him because of the way she was treated, but no, they are very very strict and he must be chaperoned everywhere they go. The girlfriend's parents aren't as strict and have had words with the boys parents (they boy is 20 and she is 23) but they couldn't reason with his parents. It seems mad that the behaviour should continue into the next generation, but I think that she is trying to justify the way she was treated because on some level she can't deal with just how cruel her parents were to her. She isn't violent, but if she follows the same sort of standard (for want of a better word) then I think she feels like she didn't go through everything she did for nothing.

People are scared of what's different.

If i had a family like that, id say good riddance and just head off on my own, with just the clothing on my back. I wouldnt really care if I had money or not.

Some people think that it is because the parents are abusive, the children learn that that is the way to deal with anger (MichelleRM78 stated this) but that is odd.
It seems weird to me that someone learns behaviour from someone else like that.

There was actually a study done sometime in the 50's (or the 60's, not sure) that showed this same effect. Children were shown a video of an adult playing with a toy (one of those clown things that are weighted in the bottom so they stand themselves back up). If the adult played violently with the toy, the child also did when they were given the toy. If the adult played less aggressively, so did the child.

It's very odd to me too. Logical would tell me that he should NEVER act that way because he has experienced it. He is an extremely verbal child who can identify his thoughts and emotions quite easily, which is how I can say with a great deal of certainty that this is why he acts the way he does. He has some impulse control issues, so the thought of his actions happens after the actual action.

He is a boy, and he relates to his father because he is male. He sees the closest male to him behave like that. Kids love their parents, and they want to be like them. The same sex parents is a HUGE influence on children. It is a battle to get him to see the world through different eyes. Thankfully, there is help if someone recognizes this and does something about it.

Oh, haha that is just terrific.
But I am never going to say that that is weak or something like that because it is extremely useful.

I'm not sure that the bully always views the difference as bad. Sometimes I think that the difference fascinates them and they want to interact with the different person, but don't know how. They are also scared that their peers will ridicule them for interacting with the different person and so they tease the different one to enable them to have some interaction and satisfy their curiosity.

i believe that most of the bullies out there are in fact very insecure themselves and hence feel the need to knock others in order to make themselves feel good. or they reckon their nasty behaviour will get them the attention that they crave. some might even think that by being a bully, their peers will look up to them and think more highly of them.

Bullies like to pick on anything that is different. It seems like they will pick on someone who is the most different. I remember being ten and this other boy who might have had AS and he was the severe case of it. He always got picked on and they left me alone. They had all their focus on him it was like they forgot about me. But if it weren't for him, I would have been next. So I think they like to pick on someone is is the most different and they go down the list. If there is no one different to pick on, they go for other normal kids and they will be observant about what to tease them about. My brother was teased about the shape of his ears, my other brother was teased for the size of his body. Bullies like to find reasons to pick on someone about. It can be about their sibling or parent or their size or the shape of their teeth or ears, what they wear, what they watch on TV, being too smart, etc.


But we all know they are cowards because they like to pick on anyone who is weak and can't fend for themselves. If you look innocent, they will pick on you thinking you are helpless.

Or they do it to make people be afraid of them so they will leave them alone and not pick on them. They want to show how tough they are so everyone will be afraid of them. Sometimes they do it to show they are just as a good as them and they will be liked and accepted.