no social issues = "too aspie?"
I have heard some members talk about their issues with their peers and I have realized that I haven't had much issues with peers ever since I was in grade 10. I was thinking that the reason is because I have too few friends. I have this impression that NTs, too, have lots of social issues. If this is the reason why I'm rarely frustrated, then I guess this is one good thing about being "too aspie".
I probably don't even understand enough of what is going on between human interactions to get mad at people and to have conflict.
I agree with League Girl. I have any issues with the few people I consider friends, but I hear them go on about their other social dramas. I feel good that I don't have to deal with that stuff.
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My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
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The more people who accept you and understand you, the less social issues you have.
That's not entirely true.
One accepting person can be enough to show all of the social impairments someone has.
Well I don't seem to have any problems just as long as people accept me. They like me. Heck I was getting men in 2007 because I had something they wanted so I was a social butterfly and outgoing I felt cured.
I can be accepted as much as possible, but it ain't going to make me feel anymore comfortable around people, nor will it change my lack of social and emotional reciprocation.
For me to become comfortable, I need to be around someone for a very, very long time, as I then can somewhat predict their behaviour (it still won't change how I can actually interact).
For me to become comfortable, I need to be around someone for a very, very long time, as I then can somewhat predict their behaviour (it still won't change how I can actually interact).
That's true for me too. My friends accept me, but I still don't feel like I fit in. I'm not more social around them than anyone else.
_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/
If you don't have social problems because you don't socialize, then no doctor worth his salt would consider that a sign you're not Aspie. Though it can be a confounding factor, of course, because people with avoidant personality disorder are the same way, often times, and you have to ask: Well, is it fear or disinterest keeping this person away from other people? And if it's fear, is it because people are utterly indecipherable and/or likely to reject the individual for being "too weird"?
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Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
I used to think I had no social issues.
Then I realized it was a combination of factors:
1. Other aspects of being autistic were far more obvious to me -- processing sensory information, understanding language, connecting to my body, communicating things that matched my thoughts. Compared to those, social issues seemed tiny.
2. Other aspects of autism were more [I]central[/]. Sounds almost the same. But what I mean is that the way I think and process information is the stuff at the center that gets me called autistic. Social issues were not a direct result of that, but rather a result of interacting with people whose brains processed everything way differently. So they happened more when my edges brushed up against someone else's edges, rather than being the core of who I was.
3. I was completely socially oblivious in certain areas. When you're that oblivious you don't notice how bad you are at something. Plus I didn't even know how I looked to other people, or how some of my actions affected people.
4. I was also oblivious enough to mistake bullies for friends. (To the point if I met online an autistic person who understood me in some respect I would become frantic with fear along the lines of, "This isn't really a person who understands me, it's my "friends" tricking me again!" Which says a lot about my awareness in other social areas, including the ones necessary for self-evaluation.
5. Once I did get better friends, they were people who understood me. Therefore I had less social issues even if I was looking carefully.
Now I know I don't have the world's greatest social skills, but it still seems like such a tiny part of being autistic for me compared to the other stuff. The reason it's considered the most important part of autism is because of the priorities most people have, not necessarily because of autistic people's priorities.
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"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
for me, a lot of the issues stemmed from the "imbalance" of any relationship/friendship. either i failed to reciprocate (eg good friends expect/want to catch up fairly regularly but i simply can't do it as frequently or for as long as they'd like) or even when i managed, i did it the "wrong"way.
Taupey
Veteran
Joined: 24 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.
For me to become comfortable, I need to be around someone for a very, very long time, as I then can somewhat predict their behaviour (it still won't change how I can actually interact).
That's true for me too. My friends accept me, but I still don't feel like I fit in. I'm not more social around them than anyone else.
This seems to best describe how I feel as well.
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