hand flailing, talking with hands and scraching? conection

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I can't ask my parents too much due to there failing memories
so I don't know yet if as a kid I did it but ever since I can remember I uncontrolably moved,shook,and scrached myself, and when I talk my hands move and point to things even if I'm not sopposed to be pointing.
are they relatied?

They are when I do it, and they are things that I trained myself out of doing, then took up doing again after diagnosis. Restraining them was costing too much anxiety. Also I need to wave my hand(s) somewhere near my head when I'm thinking, otherwise my mind will spin its wheels on one notion and get stuck.

To some degree, all people do this as a mechanism for memory recall. I think that flat-out hand flailing is more of an OCD issue. But I'm not exactly the guy to ask about speaking with hands, as I am learning ASL.

Using gesture in the course of communication is entailed in body language, and for many (perhaps all people) these things are either a by-product or facilitative of concentration and memory. However, the scope and range of appropriate gesture is culturally particular and mediated. People with Aspergers Syndrome (and Autism generally) can manifest impairment in the form of an absence of such mannerisms, or the presence of gauche "over-the-top" mannerisms or gestures (including a mixed pattern of both these anomalies) relative to their socio-cultural context.

So while it may be quite common in some societies/cultures to use hand gestures during conversation that go beyond the scope of the body of the person gesturing, doing so in a society where this is not appropriate or is a specific indication of aggitation etc as part of normal non-aggitated conversation, would be an example of gauche, "over-the-top" body language, even if this behaviour would be prefectly ordinary in some other society or culture.

So to differentiate between ordinary culturally appropriate mannerisms of this kind and those that are gauche/over-the-top or inappropriately absent and thus potentially indicative of Autistic impairment in the use of non-verbal communication to facilitate and regulate communication, one needs to compare the use/manifestation of such mannerisms to those that are prevelant in the socio-cultural context of the individual concerned. Particular indicators that one's use of such mannerisms is not appropriate would include that they convey information inaccurately (the person may be accused of being aggitated or angry when they are not for instance, or they may be accused of not manifesting an appropriate reaction such as paying attention, empathizing etc when in fact internally they do manifest the expected reaction), or that others from the same cultural background as the individual, find the mannerisms odd, off-putting or otherwise not consistent with the mannerisms they expect and are accustomed to.

So yes, everyone does have such mannerisms, but particular characteristics of an individual's mannerisms can be the result of Autistic impairment and can be indicative of the same.

i used to flap my hands when i talked until the school teachers brutally suppressed this. i found that without the hand-flapping, i was rendered relatively inarticulate.

I wonder if controlling hand movements leads to easier thought control in places like Grade 1 or the military. Also the exaggerated hand movements of some gays - movement facilitates thought and expression?

gosh, those are tough questions. i guarantee that if i had been a handflapper in the army i would have been chaptered-out. as for gays and exaggerated stereotypical gestures, i read a while back that there is some preliminary evidence that this is encoded in the genes. studies have shown that gay men walk with a distinct feminine sway in their gait compared with straight men, with the opposite result in gay women. i grew up with folk commenting on my unmasculine manners. in anycase, the stereotypical fluency of many gay men's expression is probably more due to having a more feminine brain compared with normal men, and women [with their feminine brains] in general tend to be more fluently verbal and at an earlier age than most straight men. i don't know if there is a "chicken-and-egg" aspect to all this, IOW who knows if exaggerated body gestures helps with expression in general?
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just my 2-cents' worth, adjusted for inflation