Touch

Post Reply New Topic

Why is it that most autistics can't stand to be touched? I have high functioning autism and touch doesn't bother me one bit.

My main problems are with light touch, which at its best makes my skin crawl, and at its worst, feels like an ice burn. Medium/firm touch isn't normally painful, but it tends to startle me, and it feels very intense, so that I can't focus on anything else.
Also, like most people, I don't like getting close to people who I don't like and trust, and I don't like and trust many people.

I thrive on being touched and hugged.

It depends on the person. Being touched by most people really creeps me out. If I really trust someone, I can handle it in moderation. If I have deep feelings for someone, my inclination is more like what CockneyRebel described.

People don't always get it. They don't see how I could hate being touched by strangers, but become hyper-affectionate when I'm with a girlfriend. It's just something about being close in that situation which keeps me really calm and happy.

tactile sensitivity is one of the sensory issues that many people with autism experience.
i hate being touch lightly or softly too. a firm touch is ok though

I have to fight the urge to slap a light touch away. It really really irritates me for some reason. It's too much like a bug crawling on you for one thing. Another reason I find hard to put into words.

There is NO correlation between the dislike of touch, and IQ. In fact, there are PLENTY with LOW IQs, and NEW BORN BABIES, that LOVE being touched. On the other hand, there are plenty with IQs WELL over 100 that HATE being touched.

And I WISH a high IQ made it easier to understand some things you do, but that doesn't either.

With ME, I hate the idea. HECK, I was at an airport, and a person did EVERYTHING he could, EVEN being close to falling down, to try to tap my shoulder. I should have helped him fall.

Was it fear of germs? NOPE, we both had clothng, etc... I guess I just DON'T like being touched, I could feel it, I don't like where it could lead, frankly, he had NO right. I don't touch OTHERS, why do some go to so much trouble to touch ME!?!?

I don't like people touching me or being in my personal space without permission, but, I love firm hugs and giving/getting massages...Go Figure.

I can't stand the feel of some objects though, things like anodized aluminum or grainy stainless steel, the semi-rough/smooth stones from a riverbed. Frosted glass....they feel alive to me and I know they are not, and that discrepancy makes my skin crawl and has cost me many a bottle of good vodka as I forget for the instant I pick up the bottle that it is frosted and I am not using a pot-holder to grab it, and I drop it to the floor because I can't will myself to hold onto it.

It's an invasion of my personal space and sometimes I feel agitated when touched and sometimes it's painful. I sometimes feel like screaming when touched because I don't want it and I feel I am being invaded.

I'd rather have people ask for my permission before hugging me and that goes for my husband too and family. He does ask for my permission.

touch is very important for the proper development of humans and other animals. it has been proven that babies who are not gently handled "fail to thrive" and literally wither away. i wonder what becomes of the few survivors of such tactile poverty?

i know that caresses, hand-holding and hugs make life more bearable for many folk, whether or not they like to admit this. i remember reading that cultures which frowned on human touch had higher rates of depression and other psychic ails, than cultures where it was ok to touch.

in anycase, what i know is that i like to give and receive love and affection, and a hug is such made palpable in form. a kiss and a hug beats a diss and a slug anyday.
____________________________________________________________________
just my 2-cents' worth, adjusted for inflation

I find touching so insincere. It is like deluding someone that you care for them when they don't really.

I love being hugged but I hate casual touch - on a crowded train for instance. It seems I'm not uncommon. I also hate being aware of my clothes moving against me and can't tolerate a wristwatch. I don't have to be asked for permission but it helps if I'm expecting to be touched - otherwise I might well jerk back before I can stop myself.

startle response for me. one that doesn't attenuate.

same feeling I get when I lock eyes with someone. I feel like I'm exposed.

I seem to basically like being hugged, but if it's unexpected then it scares me, my whole body goes rigid and I just don't respond to it. I'm sure I've upset a couple of people like that fairly recently, and I felt terrible about it later, but I'm too shy to talk to them about it, and I'm not even sure if that would be a socially appropriate thing to discuss with them. Neither of them have given me a second chance, so I guess they felt quite strongly rebuffed....they both seemed to look rather embarrassed when they didn't get what they wanted.

But some people are really good at it, they seem to know how to approach me, and they somehow give out the right warning signals that allow me just enough time to go into "hug mode." And if it wasn't for them, my life would be much colder.

When I've hugged people spontaneously, it's had all kinds of effects on them, though I can never tell at the time how they've taken it. One lady siad later that it had made her day, and another said later that she thought I'd taken leave of my senses. But at the time of the hugging, I didn't notice any signs of those very different effects.....they just went through the motions of reciprocating. So in most cases I suppose I'll never know whether what I did was wanted or not. So I don't offer a hug very often these days, which is a shame, but knowing how I feel when it's somebody I don't want to touch, I'd hate to push myself onto anybody. But sometimes when I'm feeling very affectionate, it'll just happen.