When did you know you were different?

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Zonder
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24 Feb 2008, 9:06 pm

I first told a school assistant that I was different than the other kids in 7th grade. Then realized that other kids bullied and and were unkind to me because of how I looked and acted when I was in the 9th grade. (My Baptist Fundamentalist family moved every year for several years and I noticed that I was treated the same no matter what state we moved to.) After that I started what I called my personal "campaign of self improvement" to look and act more acceptable to my peers. I started by looking at people's eyes instead of their mouths, I wouldn't let my mother cut my hair any more and chose my own clothes. I stopped talking about my special interests because I realized that nobody else my age cared about 19th century houses and furnishings.

When did you realize you were unique, and did you try to become more acceptably typical.



pakled
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24 Feb 2008, 9:42 pm

probably in grade school. Maybe when they threw that rock that hit me in the head...I just thought it was because I was not from 'around here'. By 'middle school' (we called it Junior High back then), I was pretty sure.



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24 Feb 2008, 9:50 pm

I knew that I was different, when I was in Grade 1. My LD teacher would walk me and another kid to my regular Grade 1 class, and that's when I knew that I was different. They threw everybody with any problem in Special Ed, back than. That was in 1981-1982.


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24 Feb 2008, 9:54 pm

I knew I was different in kindergarten, about five years old. But I don't like to talk about it much.


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Danielismyname
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24 Feb 2008, 9:59 pm

I don't understand the question.

"Different" as in...an unique individual like everyone else? "Different" in knowing that that's for every several hundred of people, there's only one with the same social impairment as you (everyone liked talking about Ninja Turtles)?

I never thought I was different for I never recognized the existence of others as "real" creatures; walking automatons and what have you. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that the people I see walking around are actually real, 20 years on.



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24 Feb 2008, 10:04 pm

First grade. The second I was out of my extended parallel play period I realized I was seriously not like other people.


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DukeGallison
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24 Feb 2008, 10:04 pm

I didn't realize I was different until about second grade, when I realized that I was attending two different classes, one "normal" and the other "special," and it was then I vocally expressed interest in attending the "normal" class...



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24 Feb 2008, 10:15 pm

Kindergarten, when I discovered my social ineptness.


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24 Feb 2008, 10:48 pm

My parents saw something different in me by the time I was in kindergarden. I had taught myself to read and in fact was the only one who could read at graduation in kindergarden. In the first grade, my teacher told my parents I was reading at about the 3rd grade level. I am not sure when I was diagnosed with Autism. I think it was around 4 or 5. I have known that I was different for a very long time.


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2ukenkerl
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24 Feb 2008, 10:59 pm

I know I knew I was different like in kindergarten. In my first day of the first grade it became BLATANT! Eventually, the school found out also. Unfortunately, that was over a decade before they recognized AS in the US.



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24 Feb 2008, 11:12 pm

Kindergarten for me too - the moment I got tossed in with a bunch of other kids, it couldn't have been more obvious!

I always knew inside there was no way I could EVER be like everyone else. And in spite of my mother's attempts to "socialize" me, I didn't really WANT to be like everyone else. By the time I was 13 or so, I knew for sure that I didn't want to be part of the "norm," ever.

I'm glad I stuck to my guns growing up. I think it saved me a lot of issues as an adult, and helped me become fairly well-adjusted... just not "normal." Or should that be NOT JUST "normal"? :)

-J.



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24 Feb 2008, 11:26 pm

1st grade. All the other kids could ride bikes, tie their own shoes, and usually talked to each other on a regular basis, while I didn't yet do these things. I was content to run around the playground by myself pretending I was driving a car, or draw pictures.



nomad21
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25 Feb 2008, 12:12 am

I always knew I was different, but it began to sink in more during middle school/high school.



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25 Feb 2008, 12:29 am

I didn't think to myself at some point that "I'm different". I had been told that I was at different points all of my life. Starting out I was "shy". Then I was labeled a "genius". Then I was "Learning disabled". Then the other kids starting making their own labels for me such as "dork", "ret*d" (Irony 101), "goofy" and all other things. After that I had "ADD", and then I had "Social Anxiety Disorder" which is a fancy word for really really shy. So they started reusing the labels. Finally I had "Aspergers Syndrome". I guess it fits but there is still a certain amount of disconnect between this label and how I see myself. But please forgive me, there have been allot of labels.



oscuria
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25 Feb 2008, 12:32 am

I guess it was in elementary school. As soon as I got into middle school (junior high), it was further reinforced. The people there were anthropomorphous apes. Enter High School, hello Planet of the Apes.



tbam
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25 Feb 2008, 1:58 am

Danielismyname wrote:
I don't understand the question.

"Different" as in...an unique individual like everyone else? "Different" in knowing that that's for every several hundred of people, there's only one with the same social impairment as you (everyone liked talking about Ninja Turtles)?

I never thought I was different for I never recognized the existence of others as "real" creatures; walking automatons and what have you. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that the people I see walking around are actually real, 20 years on.

This definately resonates with me, hehe. I was very much the solipsist throughout most of my life. I often still wonder whether anything happens outside of my field of vision / communication. Like it absolutely perplexes me when on the train that every house I pass has a family living in it with their own past and own lives.

I noticed probably early in my life, but couldn't put my finger on it. I used to think I was an alien or a robot and that at some point when I got operated on (i've never been operated on or had any broken bones) the doctors would find out that i'm a robot and that I would live forever.

The fact that my extremeties or any part of my body, namely my fingers operate instantaneously when I think of moving them, just blows me away.