Getting overwhelmed by too many choices

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sparrowblue
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21 Jun 2015, 10:53 am

Does this happen to anyone else? Some days I am useless because I am completely overwhelmed by all of the choices everywhere, ranging from choices about what to wear, eat or buy or do to choices such as which course to do at school, which universities to apply to, what hobbies to take up, etc. It makes it so that I can't focus on any one thing because all of them are in my head all at once. If I simply choose one thing I can't concentrate on it. I want to do and choose everything all at once, and also to avoid all of it.

I'm wondering if this is more of a problem in ASD, or a normal human problem. Whichever way, thanks to anyone who can relate or offer any tips to overcome this.



iliketrees
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21 Jun 2015, 11:09 am

I definitely am.

I want to be told what to do. I absolutely hate making decisions. But now I'm 18 my parents see me as an adult and want me to make decisions for myself. I just hate it and I have no idea why. I'm sure many people would love having free choice.

I just find it too much. No idea why but I just don't know. And I don't know how to improve.



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21 Jun 2015, 11:15 am

This certainly tends to be an ASD problem, although there's so much choice of everything these days I think a lot of people find it overwhelming. So I know what you mean, and I'm sure other people on WP will too.

Obviously some choices are more important than others. Your choice of courses and university will have a major impact on your future and your life in general, so these take priority over what to wear, do and eat - although a healthy diet is definitely important and needs to be considered. And hobbies can be helpful in developing interests that can be useful in your career, making friends etc.

Why don't you try keeping a notebook (maybe with an index) in which you record the different categories of choice, e.g.: vital, very important, important, useful, minor etc, and list activities in order of importance within these categories. Maybe you could give each category a colour. Then, using your notebook, you could concentrate and filter the different choices at different times, even set aside a certain time of day to do this and try not to think of it at other times.

Hope this helps a little.



tetris
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21 Jun 2015, 11:17 am

I do. I detest restaurants for multiple reasons but one of them is this. I now if I have to eat in a restaurant, even though there is a menu, decide before hand that I'm having garlic bread for starter, then either pizza or a burger for main and no pudding. It's easier that way. I also don't like the opticians for this reason as there are too many options, I had to get new sunglasses the other week and there were 8 options to choose from out of ones I'd actually wear and I almost had a bit of a meltdown trying to decide, it took a good 20 minutes to pick some. I do like my new sunglasses though. I try to limit choices as much as possible as it's much easier that way and less overwhelming.



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21 Jun 2015, 11:18 am

I've had problems with this all my life. I hate to be faced with too many options when making a big decision, as I just go into a kind of frozen state and can't even think straight anymore when trying to weigh which choice would be the best one and why. It causes me stress.

On smaller stuff, I used to find it very hard to focus when faced with a vast visual selection, such as when video stores first arrived and there would be shelves and shelves of movies.

I would see all of the movies as one blur and found it very hard to even look right at one individual box. I had to learn to calm myself down and focus on one movie at a time in order to look through the shelves with any productivity at all, ie, really seeing each title and assessing if I wanted it or not.

I can now do that but it was a process I had to manufacture for myself. I have no idea at all if this is an ASD thing or if NTs experience it too.

Same phenomenon for supermarkets -- I had to learn how to look at all the products in a very systematic manner in order to make any sense of it all.

Restaurant menus -- same thing. I see all these choices on multiple pages of a menu and I feel like I can't focus on any of it at all. I have to deliberately remind myself to take it easy, slow down and start at the beginning, and look through each item with attention as if it's the only one -- then repeat. It helps if it's a place I've been before and I already know a favorite dish there.

What to wear -- I do feel overwhelmed by the choices and combinations available in my own closet yes, definitely. I've posted recently about this somewhere else on WP -- I have a lot of really nice clothes, they're even quite well organized, and the possible combinations and re-combinations of nice outfits I could wear are quite extensive in theory.

But that does my head in!

I wind up sticking to one favorite pair of jeans and a rotation of at most three favorite tops, and I can't bear the thought of trying to be more adventurous with my other nice things. It's such a waste but I also can't bear to part with the other clothes, as they do fit, are comfortable, and I keep promising myself I will get around to wearing them someday for something. But it's the choosing that tortures me; I'd rather just wear the same things all the time because it's one less problem to worry about.



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21 Jun 2015, 11:19 am

You described exactly the problem I've had all my life. That post could have been written by me. I'm paralyzed by all the choices available everywhere. I end up not choosing anything. If I force myself to choose one thing, I can't concentrate on it because I feel I should be doing others, too. From what to eat/drink/wear to what career to have, choices are overwhelming me. There are a few hobbies/interests that I really want to pursue but I cannot focus on any of them. This problem is very negatively affecting my life.

I think it must have something to do with autism/OCD.



iliketrees
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21 Jun 2015, 11:22 am

What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.



tetris
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21 Jun 2015, 12:17 pm

iliketrees wrote:
What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.


I do that, I go through phases of eating certain things then I won't eat it again for awhile.



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21 Jun 2015, 12:40 pm

tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.


I do that, I go through phases of eating certain things then I won't eat it again for awhile.

I can't figure out why though :scratch:



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21 Jun 2015, 12:42 pm

iliketrees wrote:
tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.


I do that, I go through phases of eating certain things then I won't eat it again for awhile.

I can't figure out why though :scratch:


No idea, it just seems to happen for me, its definitely not a conscious decision.



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21 Jun 2015, 12:44 pm

tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.


I do that, I go through phases of eating certain things then I won't eat it again for awhile.

I can't figure out why though :scratch:


No idea, it just seems to happen for me, its definitely not a conscious decision.

Isn't for me either. But it's definitely been there for my life. No idea why I default to it. Probably to avoid decision?



tetris
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21 Jun 2015, 12:51 pm

iliketrees wrote:
tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.


I do that, I go through phases of eating certain things then I won't eat it again for awhile.

I can't figure out why though :scratch:


No idea, it just seems to happen for me, its definitely not a conscious decision.

Isn't for me either. But it's definitely been there for my life. No idea why I default to it. Probably to avoid decision?


Yeah maybe, I've never really thought about before.



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21 Jun 2015, 1:10 pm

tetris wrote:
iliketrees wrote:
What about if I hate even minor things?

Like what to eat. I mean I just eat pasta for lunch each day. I measure the damn pasta out. Why the f**k do I do that? Eventually if I keep doing this food loses taste to me as you'd probably expect if you eat the same thing over and over. And then I eat a different thing over and over. And that's only if someone suggests something else - gives me something else to try. I don't know how I'm gonna do on my own if I can't even decide what to eat so I just eat the same things. I never even noticed this before.


I do that, I go through phases of eating certain things then I won't eat it again for awhile.


I also do this. M-F I have the same lunch for about 2-3 years straight, and then I will switch and have that new lunch for about 2-3 years.

I also can have difficulty picking out what to eat, what to wear, a movie to watch, or music to listen to. It can be agonizing.



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21 Jun 2015, 1:30 pm

Uncertainty can be draining and paralyzing.



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21 Jun 2015, 6:26 pm

I have that trouble when presented with too many choices. My brain tries to analyse each item in the hope of finding out the best one, which would be great if I had loads and loads of free time, but I don't. Usually there's quite a bit of pressure to come to a decision fairly quickly.

I guess it's rooted in perfectionism. I don't like the idea of eliminating any of the choices without analysing them properly, because then I might be rejecting the best choice. The only help for it I've found is that I tend to recognise the situation and then I look for quick but valid ways of eliminating a lot of the items so as to cut the choice down to a manageable size. And I try to ask myself whether I really have to make the absolute best decision.



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21 Jun 2015, 8:30 pm

I hate decision making too. The thought of it gives me anxiety.


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